


Synchronization

by liketolaugh



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Allen can see Innocence, Gen, Innocences as people, The character system probably thinks I'm making fun of it, slight AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-30 17:25:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 51
Words: 66,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5172830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liketolaugh/pseuds/liketolaugh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Innocences have their own wants, personalities, souls - Allen doesn't understand what's so strange about this. But then, he's always been able to see them. (Series of oneshots through the manga. Mostly canon-compliant. Eventually turns AU.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Waking Up

Allen didn't like humans.

Allen had never liked humans, and that… hadn't changed, really, no matter what impression he liked to give off.

Oh, certainly, there were individual people that he liked. Mana, most importantly. And Master, as much as he liked to pretend otherwise - an irritating man he was.

But in general, Allen did not like humans. He thought that they were cruel, and cold, and complicated, and otherwise difficult to be around.

That didn't mean that he had no friends, of course.

* * *

Allen shivered.

_?!_

A soft whimper escaped his throat, and, slowly, his trembling right hand reached up to brush the bandages over the left side of his face. He blinked, and his vision slid into focus.

A hand, cool and gentle, grasped his wrist and tugged it away from his face. Allen blinked again, swallowed, and looked at its owner.

_?_

Concerned, bright green eyes met his. Beside Allen, holding his wrist lightly, was a freckled boy with neat orange-red hair, maybe fourteen years old. As Allen watched, the boy shifted his grip to hold Allen's hand instead, curling his fingers around Allen's.

_Worry._

"C-Crown Clown?" Allen whispered. His voice was quiet, nearly inaudible, and cracked badly somewhere in the middle. Still, Crown Clown smiled, warm and relieved.

_Relief. Happiness._

Allen couldn't bring himself to smile in return; tears glimmered in his uncovered eye, and when he spoke again, it was high and miserable. "I'm sorry."

Crown Clown's smile vanished and his expression turned solemn.  _Apology._ With his free hand, he reached up and softly brushed the spilling tears away.  _Regret. Apology._

Allen's breath hitched, and he leaned his head into the touch, shaking slightly, mind struggling to work. "Wh-what happened?" Why did his throat hurt so much?

The other's face slid into impassivity, which would have concerned Allen more if it weren't normal for Crown Clown. Images, brief but vivid, flickered behind Allen's eyes.

 _Allen, catatonic._ And then,  _Allen by the grave, bleeding, Crown Clown unable to get his attention. A man with red hair, picking him up and carrying him away. An old woman bandaging his face. Waiting._

Allen's face crumpled slightly, and he hid his face in his knees. "Oh," he whispered. So Mana… he'd really killed Mana. Mana was really dead. And none of it had been a dream, a bad dream, so Mana…

Crown Clown squeezed his hand.  _Reassurance._

Allen's breath hitched again, and he felt Crown Clown move to hold him, warm and gentle and loving, and he started to cry, in silent, miserable sobs.

He was sorry, he was so, so sorry, Mana…

Crown Clown held him and comforted him in soft tones, gentle and familiar, rocking him like he was a tiny child again.

Crown Clown had been there for Allen for as long as Allen could remember. No one else could see him, but Allen had never cared. He never even cared about Crown Clown's odd way of communicating - not better, not worse, but different, and hard to understand. But worth it. Worth it to know what Crown Clown wanted to say to him, what he meant by those feelings and pictures and impressions.

And then later, with Mana, it was worth learning words again. To know what  _Mana_ said.

Allen cried for a long time. But no one could cry forever, and finally, he stirred and sat up, wiping at his eyes, still sniffling.

It was at this moment that the door opened, and Allen glanced up, tears still drying on his face, to find the red-haired man from graveyard, back turned as he closed the door.

The man turned around, and his eyes, bored and with a hint of something unreadable, met Allen's.

He nearly flinched, eyes widening slightly in surprise, and Allen tilted his head to look at him, his long hair, his ponytail, his bone-white mask.

"Who are you?" he whispered at last, the dryness of his throat audible in his voice.

The man stepped forward, and Allen noticed another man behind him, with long, messy brown hair, broad shoulders, and bright green eyes like Crown Clown's.

"General Cross Marian," the man said at last, striding forward to drop into the chair beside Allen's bed, crossing his arms and lounging back casually. All signs of surprise were gone from his eyes. "It's about time you put yourself together, kid."

The brown-haired man followed Cross silently and stood just behind him, studying Allen intently, a small frown on his face. Cross ignored him.

"I need to talk to you about what happened at the graveyard," Cross continued, lighting up a cigarette. "How much did you understand?"

Allen swallowed. He shrugged. "What's an akuma?" Suddenly, Crown Clown's hand felt heavy on his shoulder. The brown-haired man's eyes sharpened.

"None of it, then," Cross muttered, looking mildly put out.

Allen shrugged again and looked over Cross' shoulder to the brown-haired man. Cross' brow furrowed and he followed Allen's gaze, and then frowned in confusion. "What?" Cross asked.

"Who are you?" Allen asked the man, voice quiet.

Cross looked back at him sharply, and that strange emotion reentered his eyes - concern, Allen realized with a little confusion of his own. "Kid…"

The green-eyed man's eyes also lit up with surprise, and then a smirk, small and a little forced, came over his face. Crown Clown smirked at him, green eyes faintly amused.

_Justice. The face of the executioner. The gates of Heaven and Hell. A heart against a feather, a lightning strike, the hand of Fate._

Allen considered for a short moment, and then asked, "Judgement?"

Cross' eyes widened.

Judgement's smirk widened, and he nodded, looking almost... impressed.

"You can see Innocence," Cross breathed, and there was no taking back the genuine amazement in that voice. Allen tilted his head, and then looked at Crown Clown in question.

"Innocence?" he asked the other boy.

And Crown Clown smiled.


	2. Into the Black Order

_Irritation._

Allen almost chuckled, but it would give too much away, and anyway, he was still worried. He cradled his left arm protectively and chanced a worried, sidelong glance.

Crown Clown managed a small frown when Allen met his eyes, and Allen couldn't miss his uncomfortable shift away from the other Innocence.

 _Reprimand._  Mugen scowled reprovingly at Crown Clown, who sighed resignedly and shifted back.

Mugen took the form of a young man, about twenty-one, with short brown hair and hollow cheeks. Innocence-green eyes flicked to Allen's silver and held them, changing from annoyed to thoughtful.

"Allen?"

Komui's call had Allen looking back at him, and Allen smiled reassuringly. "It's nothing, Komui. Where are we going again?"

"To see Hevlaska," Komui explained brightly, like that was supposed to mean something. Allen sighed with a rueful smile.

Though Mugen had made it clear that he supported Kanda fullheartedly, he'd been helping Crown Clown walk with Allen, since the other Innocence was having some difficulty. Allen wondered if he felt duty-bound to do so.

_A giant, snow white woman surrounded by tentacles._

Allen started slightly and glanced over again. Mugen was giving him a small, slightly bitter smirk and nodded slightly. Yes, that was Hevlaska.

Allen smiled wanly and looked back to the front, stepping onto the elevator. Komui grinned at him, eyes alight with a suspicious mischief, and flipped a switch just as Mugen and Crown Clown stepped on.

Crown Clown swayed, grimacing again, and Allen had to bite down a worried inquiry. Crown Clown caught it anyway and offered a small smirk.

 _Reassurance._  Crown Clown would be fine.

Allen smiled slightly, and Komui reclaimed his attention.

"Hevlaska will be checking your Innocence for me," Komui told him, glancing back with a strange little smile. No mention of the tentacles, Allen noted. "You're not much of a talker, are you, Allen?"

Allen started guiltily, and then smiled, embarrassed. "Sorry. I'm a little distracted."

_Amusement._

The two-toned schadenfreude helped nothing.

"Understandable," Komui conceded, oblivious. Then Allen was distracted again, because they'd arrived, and… wow.

Entranced, Allen leaned over the railing, wide silver eyes fixed on the cubes of Innocence below.

 _Fondness._  Crown Clown smiled at him, soft and indulgent.

 _Bemusement._  Mugen's mouth twisted slightly, brow furrowing as his glowing eyes burrowed into Allen's back. He glanced at Crown Clown.  _?_

Crown Clown chuckled softly.  _Faith. Indulgence._

"They're beautiful, aren't they?" Komui's voice, in stark contrast to his earlier bright cheer, was quiet and understanding.

"Yeah," Allen breathed, barely paying him any mind at all now.

They  _were_  beautiful, but that wasn't all. While unbonded Innocences didn't manifest human forms the way bonded ones did, they still had…

_Interest/Boredom/Excitement/Anticipation/Regret/Disappointment/Happiness/Delight/Irritation/Concern/Resentment/Amusement/Encouragement._

"Hevlaska," Komui called, finally dragging Allen's attention away from the amassed green cubes.

Allen looked up, and… yes, that was the woman Mugen had shown him, peering down at him with what he felt was wholly unwarranted interest.

"Hello," Hevlaska said at last, voice slow and melodious. At the same time,  _Warmth._

Not a word, but a feeling. Just like an Innocence.

 _Surprise._  Crown Clown's eyebrows rose slightly, and then he offered Hevlaska a small smile and a nod. Hevlaska nodded slightly in return, though it was subtle, and then to Mugen as well when he made a small scoffing noise.

Allen smiled. "Hello, Hevlaska." He could almost hear Komui's pout at his lack of reaction.

Hevlaska, though, smiled. "Show… me… your Innocence." And she reached for him with long, undulating tentacles.  _Curiosity. Anticipation. Hope._

Allen squirmed uncomfortably as he was picked up and lifted high into the air, and he glanced back. Crown Clown offered a small, reassuring smile, but Mugen was clearly laughing at him, eyes glinting with unsympathetic mirth.

"Don't be afraid, Allen Walker," Hevlaska murmured, pressing her large forehead to his. "I will not hurt you."

 _Reassurance._  It went a lot farther than any words could have.

Allen took a deep breath and closed his eyes. A moment passed, and then Hevlaska began again to speak.

"Two percent."  _Curiosity._  "Thirteen percent." _Anticipation._  "Thirty-four percent." _Expectation._  "Sixty-seven percent."  _Delight._  "Eighty-nine percent."  _Surprise._  Slowly, she lowered Allen back to the ground and announced, "The highest synchronization Allen can achieve with his Innocence is eighty-nine percent."

 _Pride._  Crown Clown smiled at Allen, and Mugen's brow was furrowed thoughtfully, glancing between the two partners.

 _Surprise._  Mugen nodded curtly at Allen, who smiled.  _Respect._

"Thanks," Allen said softly, pleased.

* * *

Dark Boots was a girl of about nineteen with a heart-shaped face, challenging eyes, and strong legs, and she was, as Innocences went, sort of aggressive.

Right now, she was leaning back on a wall, watching the rest of the room with a small frown and a furrowed brow. Crown Clown was crosslegged on the ground in front of Allen, who was on the bed, while Mugen loomed effortlessly at the foot.

Allen had made the mistake of mentioning Kanda's remark offhand, and that had sent Crown Clown and Mugen into a silent contest of wills, glaring obstinately into each other's eyes.

 _Anger. Resentment._  Crown Clown's mouth was set in a small, but fierce scowl.

Mugen raised an eyebrow in challenge, unmoved.  _Defiance. Justification._

Crown Clown's eyes flashed and he bared his teeth.  _Hostility!_

"It's fine, Crown Clown," Allen broke in, reaching out to calm Crown Clown with a hand on his shoulder. He smiled wryly. "Everyone does it."

Crown Clown deflated almost instantly, but the scowl stayed, while Mugen started visibly, giving Allen a sharp look. Allen didn't notice, still looking at his Innocence.

_Bitterness. Anger._

"It's  _fine,"_  Allen repeated with emphasis.

Mugen glanced between them for a moment before he crossed his arms, glanced away, and offered,  _Ambivalence. Displeasure?_

Crown Clown snorted, but settled down as well.

 _Exasperation._  Dark Boots snorted at both of them and tossed her head to look at Allen, arms crossed as well.  _Expectation._

Allen tilted his head curiously, giving her an inquisitive look.

Crown Clown sighed and tipped his head back to glance at Allen.  _Curiosity. Affirmation._

Allen shrugged and offered Dark Boots a grateful, if slightly confused smile. "Yes, thank you."

A slight smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth, and she met his gaze evenly. Her chin dropped, and images and impressions flashed between them.

_A file marked Komui Lee, Branch Chief. Komui welcoming Lenalee with a hug. Conducting a funeral with a solemn expression. Making a call with a stressed look. Trust and respect. Then, with a roll of her eyes, Sleeping at his desk. Atop some strange robot. Exasperation and annoyance._

Allen gave her a small, amused smile, now understanding what he'd been offered: information. Crown Clown chuckled as well, and Mugen smirked slightly, much more relaxed now. Dark Boots smirked back and continued.

_A file marked Reever Wenham, Section Leader. A man with spiked bronze hair working with scientists. Dropping paperwork on Komui with a scowl. Respect and amusement._

Allen nodded thoughtfully, and paid careful attention as Dark Boots gave him an effective rundown of the most important people in the Order.

According to Dark Boots, and usually affirmed by Mugen, Komui and Reever were trustworthy and generally reliable. For Lenalee, of course, Dark Boots had nothing but pride, and Mugen respected her as well. Kanda, she assured him, was reliable and strong, and Mugen surrendered the first real smile Allen had seen from him.

There was a man called Bookman who she trusted not at all, and Heaven Compass little more. His apprentice, Lavi, she was reserving judgement on, as Iron Hammer, whose opinion Dark Boots trusted, had a great deal of faith in him.

Eventually, she wound down, looked at Allen, and nodded decisively.  _Satisfaction. Expectation._

Allen smiled. "Thank you, Dark Boots. I'll keep it in mind."

Crown Clown also gave Dark Boots a nod.  _Gratitude._  She nodded curtly back and returned,

_Judgement giving Cross a disapproving look. ?_

_Reassurance._  Crown Clown gave her a small nod.  _Amusement and faith._

"Master and Judgement are fine," Allen pitched in, making a face that had all three Innocences laughing at him. "Master was a little crabby because Judgement kept asking me to yell at him about his drinking habits, but Judgement was pleased."

Dark Boots smirked, and was about to expand when Allen yawned.

_Surprise._

Allen blinked as both Dark Boots and Mugen gave him faintly startled looks, but anything he might have said about it was interrupted when Crown Clown stood up to give him a stern look.

 _Insistence!_  He pointed at the bed. Allen chuckled.

"I guess it's past my bedtime," he said dryly. Mugen snorted and turned away, and Dark Boots rolled her eyes with a faint smile. Both of them nodded at him, and then vanished out the wall.

Allen quickly got ready for bed and then laid down and smiled at Crown Clown. "Goodnight, Crown Clown."

Crown Clown offered him a small smile.  _Assurance._

"Of course you'll be here when I wake up." Allen closed his eyes. "You always are."


	3. Heaven Melody

_Sorrow._

The resonation was enough to make Allen lift his heavy eyelids and let his gaze fall on the Innocence, a little green cube sitting inches from his face.

_Regret._

He reached. His left arm shook slightly with the effort, but he was  _going_  to get that Innocence back to Lala.

_Worry._

Crown Clown, like Allen, was shaken and exhausted, but he was still hovering over his accommodator, concern lining his face.

"Just one more time," Allen rasped. "I want… to hear… Lala." Even talking was exhausting.

Crown Clown studied his face for a long moment before he nodded and withdrew, still keeping a careful eye on Allen. Allen dragged himself to his feet and, ignoring another look from Mugen, who sat by Kanda, stumbled over to where Lala and Guzol were both limp on the ground.

Opening Lala back up and replacing the Innocence earned him a soft brush of gratitude, and he could almost hear the whirring as the Innocence - Heaven Melody - worked to bring Lala back to life. He backed away to collapse on the stairs, miserable and burnt out in equal measures.

He felt Crown Clown sit beside him, a warm, comforting presence as always, and listened as Lala dragged herself across the floor and spoke to Guzol in soft, mechanical tones - the brief period of separation had been too much for Heaven Melody to easily remedy, apparently. He wondered what she looked like.

Crown Clown was silent, but his arm was around Allen's shoulders, and he didn't try to move him as Allen sat there, motionless, listening to Lala's last song. Mugen sat on his other side, a little farther away, head tipped back, glowering at the sky.

It was nighttime when Kanda finally approached, striding along evenly.

"Sleeping?" Kanda asked him, voice sardonic but not caustic. "Better keep a close eye on that doll."

"Heaven Melody won't leave," Allen said softly, without looking up. She'd promised. He felt Mugen stir and cross to his accommodator, silent and steady. "Are you okay?"

"I heal quicker than most people," Kanda answered shortly.

Allen was too tired to argue with Kanda, and he was only half paying attention as he conversed with the older exorcist. The rest was on listening with his mind, feeling the soft tones Heaven Melody intertwined with her song, the ones Kanda couldn't hear.

It was a shame, really. It was beautiful. Sad, but beautiful.

"It's not even really Lala anymore," Kanda told him.

That wasn't strictly true. "It's still the same Innocence," Allen replied.

"The Innocence doesn't care."

Allen glanced up, faintly startled. "...You think Heaven Melody doesn't care?" he asked. Kanda half-turned to give him a strange, suspicious look.

"Of course not." And then, "...Heaven Melody? Beansprout, what the  _fuck?"_

Allen tilted his head slightly in confusion (did Kanda not know the Innocence's name?) and Kanda shook his head in disgust and turned away again, unable to feel Mugen's reassuring hand on his back. Allen sighed and slumped down again.

"Too damn soft," Kanda muttered. "Beansprout, get your head out of your ass. Innocence isn't  _nice._  Exorcists don't  _save._  All of it, all of _us,_  we're just meant to  _destroy."_

_Sadness. Disappointment. Regret._

Mugen sighed, and Allen couldn't see the look he was giving Kanda, and he probably didn't want to, either. Crown Clown squeezed his shoulder gently, and Allen curled up a little tighter.

_Consolation. Concern._

Allen shrugged and, as the last threads of Lala's song faded away, he sat up. "I don't think I agree," he said politely to Kanda, who was still scowling bitterly at the ground.

And then he turned and walked back to the room. Heaven Melody was done.

For a moment, he stood there, watching the motionless, broken doll over Guzol's cooling body.

_Gratitude._

For a moment, Allen could see Heaven Melody, a ghost of a little teenage girl with blonde pigtails, who gave him a small, soft smile and a short bow before she faded away again.

Allen had felt Heaven Melody as soon as they found Lala and Guzol, though the Innocence had been just as determined not to divulge her true location as Lala and Guzol had been, even with the insistence of Crown Clown and Mugen. He'd barely learned her name, so reticent was she.

He smiled softly and stepped closer to the doll. He started slightly as the doll spoke; it seemed Heaven Melody was not quite satisfied yet.

"Thank you," she whispered. Not for the first time, he wondered how difficult it had been for the mute Innocence to learn words. "For letting me sing until I broke down. You helped me keep my promise…"

As the doll finally broke down and collapsed, her voice deepened robotically and broke as well, and Allen caught her and stared for a moment longer, eyes solemn.

"You're welcome," he said at last, quiet. "Heaven Melody."

And tears finally sprang to his eyes, trickling down his face, breath hitching. He was sorry, he was really sorry, and he wished he'd been able to save them. To help them more than this.

"Hey. What's wrong with you?"

Allen sniffled and reached up to wipe the tears away. "Kanda," he choked out, not sure why he wanted so badly for Kanda to understand this, but  _needing_  to tell him. "Innocence isn't just a weapon, and an accommodator  _isn't_  just a destroyer. We can save things, too." They  _could._

_Assurance. Pride._

Crown Clown had never just been a weapon. For the longest time, he'd been Allen's world.

Was it… was it not like that for the other exorcists?

* * *

Instead of putting her in his bag, Allen held Heaven Melody cradled in his hands. Crown Clown sat comfortably beside him, watching the other Innocence but with most of his attention on Allen.

Allen was content to listen while the two Innocences spoke. He watched the scenery outside instead, passing by the train window.

_Reassurance. Hevlaska and her nest of Innocences._

_Apprehension and derision._

_Amusement. Encouragement._

_Irritation._

Allen chuckled softly and then went back to thinking.

The Order was… interesting. He actually surprised himself with how much he liked some of the people there, and it was nice to be around so many Innocences.

He hadn't spent much time around the Science Department, but between the one time and Kanda, he wondered how much the Order really knew about their weapons. He understood that no one else could see them, hear them, just like he understood that no one else could see or hear akuma, but… it just seemed so  _obvious._

Innocences were just as much people as humans were. One of the first things you did when you met a human was learn their name. Why not an Innocence? Why not learn what they like, how they act, what they want...

Master had never mentioned this. Maybe he thought he hadn't needed to, or maybe he thought that Allen needed to learn for himself.

_?_

Allen started at Crown Clown's concerned inquiry and glanced over with a reassuring smile. "It's nothing."

Crown Clown studied him suspiciously for a moment, and then sighed and looked back at Heaven Melody.

...Had they at least figured out that Innocences  _were_  people? Maybe they just didn't have a way of communicating with them.

Allen sighed and looked out the window. Well, he'd sooner keep his secrets than satisfy his curiosity. Perhaps he'd learn someday, but today, he'd stay quiet.


	4. Time Record

"How the hell did you get in here?" Miranda wailed, looking terrified.

Allen gave her a bemused look. "Well, I… just walked through the front door," he replied slowly. "You did leave it unlocked."

"...Oh." Miranda cringed. "Right." Then, "Don't you come in here again without knocking first, got it?"

_!_

Dark Boots strode straight forward and stopped in front of the grandfather clock, drawing Allen's attention there, and he raised an eyebrow, surprised.

"But we did knock a couple of times," Lenalee informed her, looking somewhere between embarrassed and amused. "You just didn't answer the door. We were worried you might be in trouble, so we decided to come in."

Miranda was a very hysterical woman, Allen noted with some concern. And the Innocence beside the clock was giving all of them a furious look that reminded Allen of the way Crown Clown had behaved when Allen was younger. Like she'd like nothing better than for every one of them to roll over and die.

_Suspicion! Defiance!_

Yes, that was very familiar. Allen glanced at Crown Clown, who nodded back and crossed the room to the new Innocence, who was still glaring fiercely at Dark Boots, while Lenalee tried to console Miranda.

The Innocence by the clock was an Asian woman, about thirty-five years old, with straight, black hair down to her chin and a delicate build. Her eyes were angry in a frustrated sort of way, and watched all of them warily.

 _Reassurance._  Crown Clown knelt down in front of the other Innocence, green eyes impassive and mouth firm.  _?_

The Innocence glared at him for a long moment, but after a long pause, answered grudgingly.

_The ticking of the clock. The unstoppable passing of years. Page after page of history, the baby crying and the old man's death, and that moment in the snow when everything… stops._

Time Record. Miranda's Innocence, if Allen wasn't wrong.

Allen weighed his options for a long moment while Crown Clown gave the other Innocence a welcoming, reassuring smile, holding out a hand. She swatted it away and Dark Boots snorted, tossing her head irritably. The clock Innocence growled at her.

He glanced at Lenalee, still looking at Miranda, and Crown Clown looked up sharply, catching Allen's eye. For a long moment, they looked at each other, and Time Record briefly dropped her anger to look between them with surprise.

Allen decided to leave Miranda to Lenalee and crossed the room, crouching beside Crown Clown to smile at Time Record.

"Hello," he said, too quietly for Lenalee or Miranda to hear over their conversation. "My name is Allen. Yours is Time Record, isn't it? And you chose Miranda?"

For a moment, the resentment faded from Time Record's eyes, replaced by thoughtfulness as she frowned at him. Then her eyes cleared and she nodded firmly. He smiled.

"It's good to meet you," he said honestly. "I'm sorry it took us so long to find you. Are you and Miranda alright?"

She frowned at him again, then looked past him at Miranda, who seemed to be in tears again.  _Derision! Anger and worry._

Allen followed her gaze and winced.

"I guess not," he murmured. He looked back at Time Record and smiled, wan this time. "Don't worry, though. The Order might be good for her." He shrugged. "It was for me."

Time Record snorted, and Dark Boots looked a little dubious herself. Crown Clown frowned at both of them.

_Confirmation. Insistence._

_Denial. Doubt._  Time Record huffed and leaned back against the clock, finger tapping against the ground restlessly.  _A child throwing poo at Miranda. Protectiveness._

Oh. Allen's eyes darkened briefly and he shook his head. "The people at the Order aren't like that," he assured her. "They're very accepting."

_Doubt!_

_Reassurance. Certainty. Resentment not-yet-faded and tiny Allen scowling defensively at a man much bigger._  Crown Clown's head was tilted, eyes clear and intent on the older-looking Innocence.

Time Record raised a skeptical eyebrow, and then turned her head to look at Dark Boots, who was looking over all of them, arms crossed, a frown tugging at one corner of her mouth.  _?_

Dark Boots looked a little reluctant, but after a moment, she acquiesced.  _Jerry beaming at Lenalee. Komui examining Allen's arm without a hint of alarm. Assurance._

Time Record's eyes narrowed at Dark Boots, not quite assured.  _? Irritation._

Dark Boots smiled, bitter and unkind.  _Lenalee, six years old, dragged away from home. Bound to a bed, tears in her eyes, nine. Hiding from someone, trembling with fear._

Time Record looked away, hiding her eyes, arms crossed.

"She'll be alright," Allen promised quietly, voice soft.

"Allen?" Allen looked up to see Lenalee looking at him, concerned, and Miranda staring at him with wide eyes, still filled with tears. "What are you doing over there?"

Allen smiled again, a clown's smile this time, and stood up, crossing back to them. "Nothing important, Lenalee. I just thought I saw something interesting about the clock."

 _Startlement._  He glanced back at Time Record, giving him another surprised look. Crown Clown had settled by her, curled in a loose ball, seemingly relaxed but eyes intent on Allen.  _Curiosity._

 _Reticence._  Crown Clown scowled softly.  _Cross and Judgement with suspicious eyes._

Time Record frowned and Dark Boots snorted, and then turned away, going to look suspiciously out the window. All that was outside, though, were a bunch of kids, running around on the street.

They weren't as harmless as they looked, Allen knew. Not with the way Time Record glared at them.

"Miranda, Miranda, she's all bad luck!"

The sound filtered in through the window, and Allen frowned in disapproval, while Lenalee grimaced. Those were the two mildest reactions in the room.

Dark Boots bared her teeth, and Miranda flinched. Crown Clown scowled darkly, and Time Record sprang to her feet for the first time since they'd entered the room, a helpless fury lighting up her bright green eyes.

_Anger! Defiance! Disgust!_

Miranda quickly went to close the window, looking close to tears again. "I'm sorry you had to hear that," she said quickly. Allen's eyes softened.

"It's okay," he said quietly, glancing at Time Record, who was fuming and pacing, fists clenching and unclenching. "It's not your fault at all."

"It  _is,"_  Miranda whispered through tears. "I'm so  _useless."_

Time Record turned around sharply and very nearly snarled.  _Denial! Frustration!_

Allen's eyes lingered on the Innocence, and then went to Miranda, clear and thoughtful. He wondered what it was, precisely, that Time Record saw in her.

Because there was always something.

"No," he promised. "You're not."

Miranda looked at him, wide-eyed and lower lip trembling, and then, slowly, she sat down. Lenalee and Allen followed, and Miranda took a deep breath.

And she started to tell them her story.

* * *

Allen grimaced and twitched his hand slightly; Crown Clown grimaced as well, but then they shared a small, rueful smile. They were recovering.

Time Record turned out to be one of the most stubborn Innocences Allen had ever met, but while Dark Boots seemed generally annoyed, Crown Clown understood her perfectly. In the end, she'd refused to take down the time loop until she felt that Miranda was better, and with Miranda's story, they'd started an attempt to get Miranda a job.

It had… well, it had sort of worked. Eventually. In a roundabout, unintended sort of way.

Allen was glad that Miranda had gotten some of her confidence back; she needed it, and she deserved it, too, even if he hadn't yet seen precisely why Time Record had chosen her. He'd seen enough, and he hoped they both liked it at the Order.

The disaster with Road… he'd been pretty worried about Time Record for a while, and he wished he'd gotten a chance to see her before Miranda left, but all things considered, he was happy with how things had turned out.

But Lenalee had been giving him strange looks the entire rest of the time they'd been in the room, and Allen was starting to worry. Cross had warned him to keep it a secret, and he… didn't usually give redundant warnings.

Allen was worried.


	5. First Interlude: The White Clown

_At the top of a mountain, with a crown on his head, mask on his eyes._   
_His face painted white and his eyes bold._   
_Defiance in the face of disapproval. Laughter at death._

In seven thousand years, Crown Clown had never met a boy like Allen.

There were very few humans who, from birth, possessed the innate traits required in an accommodator. Most gained these through trial by fire, over a short or long lifetime, and were found by an Innocence who saw what they _could_ be.

Allen, though, was one of those very few who was born to be an accommodator, to fight akuma. That was why Crown Clown had chosen him, from the very start, becoming the first Innocence to bond with a human before they were even born.

This had turned out to be a mistake from the beginning.

The first point at which this became clear was the exact moment of the attachment, when Allen's undeveloped arm twisted and deformed under the boundless force of Crown Clown's otherworld energy. Crown Clown had done his best to keep it intact, but it hadn't quite worked, and he'd been sorry for it. But that was okay. Allen could overcome that.

The second point was when Allen was actually born. From the moment the deformed arm emerged, the woman who was his mother had screamed, and the doctor had cursed and called on God. Allen had been dropped to the ground.

That had been when Crown Clown started to worry, and that worry multiplied with every passing minute.

By the time Allen's mother took Allen out into the streets and laid him on the ground, Crown Clown was horrified, reduced almost to tears and screaming at her the best he could, though he knew she couldn't see him. She couldn't do this, she _couldn't, couldn't she see what Allen would become?_

She couldn't, and she left Allen right there on the ground, screaming and crying and confused and all alone and _so small._

Crown Clown had never cared for a child before. He was a weapon, a being formed from God Matter to destroy akuma. He had no idea where to begin.

He started with sitting beside Allen, reaching down to stroke his hair softly, his own face strained with the effort it took to keep from crying. He was startled when Allen stopped crying and looked up at him, round blue eyes focused. _On him._

That was when he figured out that Allen could see him, and maybe Allen was even more extraordinary than even he had realized.

The night after Allen had first been set down, Crown Clown got desperate. Allen was dying, actively _dying,_ right in front of him. Allen needed to be inside, with someone who could feed him, somewhere he wouldn't _freeze to death._

It was at that point that Crown Clown realized he could touch Allen, could _pick him up –_ Allen, out of all of the inanimate objects Crown Clown could not affect.

He was acutely aware of the tiny weight in his arms while he searched for an orphanage – someone, anyone, who could take him, feed him, care for him. It took most of the night, and by the time he set Allen down on the doorstep to be found, the sky was lightening.

Crown Clown sat beside him and waited, and sure enough, Allen was taken in. This… should have been a relief.

It wasn't. Allen was being fed (a little) and he was kept warm (sometimes), but Crown Clown was genuinely worried that one of the nuns would smother him in his sleep. (Not if Crown Clown had any say.)

Crown Clown had never in his long life felt as uncertain as he had for those first few years. Caring for a child, even with 'help', was… hard. Harder when most people couldn't see you, when there were very few things you could physically interact with.

And then, when Allen was two, one of them – Crown Clown would never forget her face – really _did_ try to smother him. Crown Clown, who Allen knew and trusted more than any of the nuns or the other orphans, got the child out instantly, with no plan or even ideas.

That left Allen on the streets, where he wouldn't have to worry about his caretakers killing him, but was twice as likely to freeze or starve. Crown Clown, very quickly, began to wonder if he had made the right choice at all.

Nights were long, and winter nights were longer. Crown Clown was glad he didn't need to sleep. Allen was small, and skinny, and malnourished, and Crown Clown soon lost count of the times when he held his breath, watching Allen to see if he was still breathing, if he'd frozen to death or starved or finally been beaten too hard. An angel to watch over your sleep didn't do much good if they couldn't really help.

It was then, too, that Crown Clown began to see another side of humanity, the dark side that hated and scorned, and he grew to hate it, too. Hate the way they treated his Allen, his accommodator. How dare they. _How dare they._

Allen joining the circus brought a new set of worries, even as old ones were put to rest. Allen wasn't going to starve, but with no change in the way people treated him, Allen was beginning to resent the world as well, and Crown Clown couldn't blame him one bit.

Crown Clown may never have hated anyone as much as he hated Cosimo, except, perhaps, Allen's mother and the nun who tried to kill him.

And then… there was Mana.

Crown Clown got a strange feeling from Mana, but nothing he could quite recognize. He knew only that it made him wary.

But the way Mana treated Allen… if there was one thing that could make Crown Clown dismiss his instincts, it was that. There were very few things that could make Crown Clown turn down the chance of someone, _anyone,_ showing Allen even a little bit of real kindness, even though he knew Allen would turn away from it in a moment if Crown Clown asked him to.

And finally, Crown Clown got the chance to watch Allen without worrying about him. He got to admire how he'd grown, how much he'd learned, how _happy_ he was.

He was still a little rough around the edges, still a little wary, but he was good and he was kind and Crown Clown was certain that someday, he'd make an _excellent_ exorcist. One of the best Crown Clown had ever been with.

And Crown Clown had never loved an accommodator as much as he loved Allen.

He'd noticed Cross and Judgement around for a few days before Mana died; he'd been keeping an eye on them, but he hadn't been concerned. They were allies, and perhaps they'd even pick up Allen, if there was a need, if they noticed. Allen was a little young yet, but he could do it, Crown Clown was certain.

And then Mana had died, and the Earl had come, and Crown Clown had never, _never_ hated his inability to speak as much as he had then, because Allen…

Allen hardly ever ignored Crown Clown's advice, but Crown Clown knew him well enough that he knew he would never turn down a chance to bring Mana back. Not now.

And he did. He did bring Mana back. And Crown Clown hated it _so much._

Allen would make a brilliant exorcist, but it would almost certainly be the death of both of them.


	6. Methodology

After Lavi deactivated his Innocence, Allen's attention transferred from the other exorcist to the new Innocence almost instantly, dropping back slightly to match his pace.

Big Hammer, Little Hammer had dark grey hair pulled back in a ponytail, with vindictive eyes and a false, easy grin. His hands were in his pockets as he strode two steps behind Lavi, sparing a moment to nod at Crown Clown, who nodded back.

Lavi was giving Allen a strange, thoughtful look, which indicated that Allen should stop staring at thin air. He dropped his gaze to the ground and Lavi shrugged and looked back to the front.

"Anyone ever tell you that you're a weird kid?" Lavi asked him conversationally.

"Once or twice," Allen agreed with a faint smile.

 _?_  Big Hammer, Little Hammer cocked an eyebrow at Crown Clown.

At the top of a mountain, with a crown on his head, mask on his eyes. His face painted white and his eyes bold. Defiance in the face of disapproval. Laughter at death.

Big Hammer, Little Hammer nodded thoughtfully, and then returned,  _A strike on the anvil. Red-hot metal beaten into shape. A blow that smashes walls and breaks bones._

A small frown crossed Crown Clown's face.  _?_

Iron Hammer, as his name apparently was, smirked and rolled his eyes, glancing at Lavi.  _Fondness. Amusement. Resignation._

Crown Clown chuckled softly.  _Acknowledgment._

"Allen?"

Allen started slightly and looked up to see Lavi frowning at him again. "Hm?"

"I asked you what you were smiling at."

Allen smiled guiltily. "Ah, it's nothing." He glanced at Iron Hammer, who gave him an unabashedly interested look. He seemed to have skipped the 'surprised' stage, Allen noticed.

Lavi studied him for a moment, glanced at the same place Allen had looked at, saw nothing, and shrugged. "Whatever. You're quiet, you know that?"

"I've been told, yes," Allen agreed. "And you're talkative."

 _Amusement!_  Iron Hammer grinned at Allen and nudged him experimentally. When Allen shrugged the touch away, he smirked.  _Interest!_

 _Reprimand. Irritation._ Crown Clown frowned at Iron Hammer, who waved it off dismissively.

Reassurance. Interest! Iron Hammer insisted. Allen rolled his eyes.

"I've been told that too," grinned Lavi, looking unashamed. "We better get back, though. Bookman'll probably be getting worried soon, old panda. And you probably shouldn't be up too long, huh?"

Crown Clown whirled to give Allen a sharp look and a stern nod.  _Agreement._

"Especially with how spacey you are, beansprout," Lavi tacked on, but his eye was intent and thoughtful.

Allen frowned. "I'm fine," he replied shortly. "And my name is  _Allen!"_

Lavi chuckled.

Within fifteen minutes, they'd gotten back to the hospital and Allen had been shuffled back into his bed by the nurse.

"Why do nurses always do this?" Allen asked Crown Clown plaintively. "I'm not even that badly hurt."

Crown Clown gave him a stern look and pointed at his eye.  _Tension and concern._

"Except for that," Allen amended apologetically.

 _!_  Iron Hammer, lounging on a chair beside them, perked up and waved. Allen looked over and smiled at Dark Boots in greeting as she strode through the door, frowning and refusing to acknowledge the blond man, tall with a round face, behind her.

Dark Boots nodded at all of them curtly and then looked at Allen.  _?_

"I'm fine," he assured her. "How's Lenalee?"

The blond man raised his eyebrows, and Allen took a moment to smile at him and wave before returning his attention to Dark Boots.

Dark Boots scowled softly, worry and frustration in her eyes _. Discontent. Frustration and helplessness._  Then, reluctantly,  _Hope and optimism._

Allen smiled. "That's good. I'm sure she'll get better soon, or else Komui would be a lot more upset."

Dark Boots sighed and nodded.  _Agreement. Worry._

 _?_  The blond man looked at Allen intently.  _Interest._

"I'm Allen," Allen told him instead of answering his question. "Who are you?"

_A bird's-eye view, a traveller lost. The North Star and a map, and the traveller looks to the sky and smiles._

"Heaven Compass," Allen guessed, and the man gave him a small smile and a nod.

_Surprise. Approval._

_!_  The rest of the room looked at Iron Hammer, and he waved his hands and looked at Allen, curiosity clear in his eyes.  _Allen making eye contact with Iron Hammer. ?_

"Um." Allen smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. "I… guess I've just always been able to see Innocence. I didn't always know it, though." He tilted his head at his own Innocence. "For a long time, it was just Crown Clown."

Iron Hammer's eyes sharpened. Even Dark Boots looked suddenly interested.  _Baby? Crown Clown looking at a baby? Crown Clown fusing with the baby?_

 _Crown Clown entering a pregnant woman's womb,_  Crown Clown corrected, frowning at them. ?

 _!_  Iron Hammer grinned.  _! ! !_

Heaven Compass looked at Iron Hammer, and then realization sparked in his eyes.  _Realization._  Calculation glimmered in his eyes, but Allen didn't have long to think about it; he was too confused.

 _Irritation._  Dark Boots shot Heaven Compass a scowl and then frowned at Iron Hammer.  _?_

_Infant head! Innocence cube! Infant sleeping and opening green eyes!_

Dark Boots looked up sharply, and Crown Clown's eyes widened. Allen was still confused and looked at Crown Clown. "What?"

 _Allen in the womb,_  Crown Clown explained.  _The green glow of Innocence. Innocence in Allen's brain. A switch being flicked and a lightbulb turns on._

It took a moment, but then Allen's eyes widened slightly, too. "So… I can see Innocence because Crown Clown bonded with me before I was born? And that altered my brain development?"

Iron Hammer nodded, grinning.  _Delight! Excitement! Interest!_

 _Interest,_  Heaven Compass agreed.  _Thoughtfulness. Curiosity._

Allen laughed, shaking his head. "I can see why you and Lavi get along so well," he said ruefully. "He'd be just as interested, I think."

Iron Hammer's grin turned fond.  _Agreement. Pride!_  He nudged Allen. _Lavi teasing Allen. Amusement!_

"It's not funny," Allen pouted. "I have a  _name."_

_Amusement!_

Even Dark Boots raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly.  _?_

Crown Clown chuckled softly. _Beansprout._

 _Beansprout!_  Iron Hammer agreed.  _Lavi grinning! Amusement! Beansprout!_

"I'm not a beansprout!" Allen complained. "I'm not even that short!  _And my name is Allen!"_

_Beansprout!_

Allen huffed and waved it away. "Anyway, he seems pretty smart. Should I be worried?"

Iron Hammer paused, and his face turned serious.  _Affirmation._  But then he grinned again.  _Assurance! Lavi's face, completely neutral. Unconcern!_

 _Bookman, expressionless,_  Heaven Compass affirmed.

Dark Boots shot Heaven Compass a Look and then looked at Allen pointedly, though she didn't speak.

Allen's face was slightly skeptical. "I mean, if you're sure…"

Iron Hammer nodded firmly. Allen smiled.

"Alright. Then I won't worry about it too much."

Crown Clown smiled at him, and then gave him a stern look and pointed at his eye again. Allen sighed.

"I'm not even doing anything strenuous anymore!"

_Insistence!_

_Amusement. Exasperation._  Dark Boots huffed at him.  _Lenalee slapping Allen for being reckless._

Allen winced. "Yes, okay, I know. Look, I'll let Bookman know if it gets any worse, okay? It's pretty much fine right now."

 _Pride. Fondness._  Heaven Compass nodded his approval.

Crown Clown frowned at him, but then he sighed and nodded.  _Worry. ?_

"It doesn't hurt much," Allen promised.

Crown Clown nodded firmly.  _Satisfaction. Plate of food?_

Allen smiled and nodded quickly. "Sounds great. Let's go."


	7. Reaching Out

Krory's Innocence was… not the most sane Allen had ever come across.

He eyed the tension-wracked, lightly twitching man across from him with a hint of amusement. The man glared at him, eyes wide and wild, snarling slightly. Long white hair failed to cover flushed cheeks and dropped to his elbows.

"Hi," he said finally, faintly amused, rubbing one eye tiredly. It had been a long day.

The man started and gave him a sharp look. Crown Clown clapped a hand over his eyes and looked annoyed.

_Exasperation. Discouragement. Skepticism._

_Amusement!_  Iron Hammer insisted.  _Interest!_  He grinned at Krory's Innocence.  _?_

The man eyed him, still scowling.  _Mistrust._  And then,  _The ripping of teeth in a throat. Red spilling over lips. Krory drenched and dripping scarlet, ankle-deep in thick liquid, fangs gleaming and eyes bright._

"Bloody Krory," Allen echoed, glancing at the sleeping man in question. He leaned his head against the window and smiled at Bloody Krory faintly. "That's very specific."

Bloody Krory snorted at him, jerking his head to look away. Matted white hair swayed slightly.  _Krory's teeth! Satisfaction. Expectation._

Allen nodded thoughtfully. "Oh, I see." He smiled, slightly rueful. "You certainly have quite the effect on his personality." He yawned.

Bloody Krory snarled at him.  _Disapproval! Resignation. Irritation._  After a moment of consideration,  _Krory defending Eliade. Approval. Expectation._

Allen considered. "So he's protective," he said slowly. "And that's what riles him up?"

Bloody Krory nodded firmly.  _Approval. Anticipation._

Allen nodded thoughtfully, and then stifled another yawn. Krory and Lavi were asleep, and Allen knew he wasn't far behind them. He closed his eyes. By his ear, rain battered the window.

Allen started to drift, not quite asleep but not really awake either, listening to the cadences of the Innocences around him. Crown Clown laid a hand on his right arm, thumb stroking over it rhythmically, and Allen relaxed slightly.

It was interesting to learn why the different Innocences had chosen who they had, and… it made him wonder about the exorcists themselves, too.

He hadn't expected to get so attached to the other exorcists; after all, he had plenty of friends in the forms of their Innocences, and the Innocences and he, they shared a goal - to destroy the akuma. With Crown Clown, it was even more specific: to save the akuma.

Lately, though, Allen had been fighting for his friends as much as for the akuma. It was… strange. It was  _new._

He felt Crown Clown shiver and 'hm'ed softly, receiving a quiet hum of reassurance in return.

 _Allen retreating from Krory. Derision and scorn._  Ah. Allen hadn't realized that Bloody Krory didn't like him.

 _Defensiveness. Allen challenging Eliade. Loyalty._  Crown Clown bristled in his accommodator's defense, making Allen stir slightly. Crown Clown moved his hand to caress the back of Allen's neck and Allen sighed softly, settling back down.

 _Curiosity. Crown Clown standing with Allen._  Iron Hammer seemed very interested by Crown Clown's loyalty to Allen.

 _Sullenness. Irritation. Reticence._  Crown Clown shifted closer to Allen, and then added, reluctantly,  _Fondness and expectation. Anticipation, pride, anticipation._

 _Derision!_  Bloody Krory snorted and shook himself, making a soft rustling noise.

 _Insistence! Expectation._  Crown Clown tensed, and then shivered again, shifting with slightly restless energy. Softer, he repeated,  _Expectation._

 _...Interest._  Iron Hammer leaned forward.  _?_

 _Anticipation,_  Crown Clown repeated.  _Pride._

 _Delight!_  Iron Hammer leaned back again.  _Commendation._

 _Pride and loyalty._  Crown Clown forced himself to settle down and looked at Bloody Krory.  _Townspeople raging at Krory. Krory cowering with teary eyes. ?_

 _Anger!_  Bloody Krory bristled at the thought, standing up forcibly, but after a moment he sat back down.  _Sullenness. Dismissal. Krory with Lavi and Allen. Confidence. Irritation._

 _Agreement._  Crown Clown sighed softly.  _Assurance._

 _The townspeople yelling at Lavi as well. Irritation, annoyance, resignation._  Iron Hammer put in.  _The townspeople yelling at Allen. ?_

_Rage!_

Crown Clown's vehement response startled Iron Hammer, and Allen as well, who sat bolt upright with wide eyes, now fully awake. Crown Clown grimaced and leaned back irately, glowering, and even Bloody Krory frowned, a confused scowl slashing across his face, breathing a little ragged after his start.

 _Curiosity._  Iron Hammer glanced at Allen in question. Allen took a moment to go over the last few things said before he remembered and grimaced.

"It's not that important. We've just had some, uh, bad experiences."

 _Anger,_  Crown Clown ground out, scowling at the ground.  _Frustration. Helplessness. Rage._

 _Confusion._  Iron Hammer shrugged, and then offered,  _Tenacity, relief?_

Crown Clown considered, and then agreed, with a small smile,  _Tenacity, relief._

Allen laughed quietly, relaxing slightly. "Yeah, it's a lot nicer at the Order. Just goes to show that it really _does_  get better." Bloody Krory snorted imperiously and glared out the window suspiciously. "Ah, don't be like that, Bloody Krory. It's easier to be around other people, but…" Allen smiled ruefully. "Trust me, he'll get pushed."

 _Satisfaction. Insistence._  Bloody Krory nodded firmly.  _Bloodlust._

Allen smiled ruefully and glanced at Crown Clown, then paused, concerned. "Crown Clown, are you alright? You seem… restless."

Crown Clown smiled at him, and Allen smiled back on instinct at the light in the other's eyes.  _Reassurance._

"What do you think?" Allen asked Iron Hammer, returning to the previous topic and leaning against the window again. "About humans in general, I mean."

Iron Hammer considered this seriously for a moment, and then shrugged.  _Dismissal, disinterest. Bookman kicking Lavi in the head, annoyance._  He smirked.  _Bookman making Lavi sit and work. Iron Hammer guiding Lavi to battle. Encouragement! Annoyance._

Allen chuckled. It figured that Iron Hammer only disliked Bookman because their goals were opposed. But it was interesting that Iron Hammer was so certain that he could get Lavi to change his entire life's course.

He wondered what Lavi was really like.

Allen closed his eyes again, still tired out, and Crown Clown's hand returned to him, this time in his hair, gentle and reassuring.

 _Misgiving. Insistence! Allen and Lavi discussing their mission._  Bloody Krory glared at Iron Hammer, who chuckled.

_Komui at his desk, speaking to Lavi-_

Allen fell asleep.


	8. Shiver

Crown Clown was shivering.

Allen was worried; Crown Clown had started shivering soon after Krory joined them, and he hadn’t stopped since. If Crown Clown hadn’t looked so happy, eyes bright and a light smile on his face, Allen would’ve been openly fretting, current company be damned.

As it was, Dark Boots was glaring Crown Clown down, hands on her hips and eyes fierce. Crown Clown’s smile was fading, a small frown taking its place.

 _Disapproval,_ Dark Boots snapped at Crown Clown, ponytail swishing. _Con-cern!_

 _Apathy,_ Crown Clown dismissed. _Confidence._

 _Disdain,_ Dark Boots hissed back. _Dissatisfaction._

_Unconcern._

“Hey, Allen? Still with us, buddy, or is there trouble in Dreamland?”

Crown Clown glanced over from his argument with Dark Boots and, with a small, encouraging smile, he waved toward Allen’s human friends. Dark Boots sniffed disdainfully, but nodded as well.

Allen shrugged and looked back toward his friends. Krory looked confused, and Lenalee slightly concerned, but Lavi looked borderline amused.

“You gotta stop doing that,” Lavi chuckled, sitting back to look at Krory.

 _Disagreement,_ Iron Hammer objected, looking pretty amused himself. He looked at Allen. _Encouragement!_

Allen hid a smile. “Sorry. What were we talking about?”

Allen, Lenalee, Lavi, and Krory were sitting on a bench at a train station, though the train itself wouldn’t come for quite some time. Crown Clown and Dark Boots were standing behind it, bickering, and Iron Hammer was plopped on the ground beside Lavi, who was on one end of the bench.

Bookman had taken off doing who-knew-what, and Heaven Compass had chosen to accompany him, while Bloody Krory… Allen didn’t even want to know.

“We were telling Krory about Hevlaska’s room,” Lavi informed him, still smirking.

“Brother said you really liked it,” Lenalee added, giving him a fondly exasperated smile. “Do you really go and visit?”

Allen was doing a very bad job of hiding his ability, and he _knew_ it. But it was hard to feel unsafe around the other exorcists. They were too _real._ It was probably for the best that they seemed to have decided that he was just a little funny in the head.

Allen nodded, smiling at the thought of the lower chambers’ residents. “Yeah, I do. Hevlaska and I talk sometimes, and she lets me down by the Innocences.” She was quite nice, really. To Krory, he continued, “Hevlaska might look a little scary, but she’s very gentle. She keeps the unbonded Innocences with her, and she lives in a very large chamber at the bottom of Headquarters. It’s one of my favorite places at the Order, but most people find it a little creepy.” He smiled ruefully.

Lavi rolled his eyes. “He forgot to mention that there are five Grand Generals down there who’ll sit on their thrones and watch everything ominously,” he said to Krory, who possibly was going to cry from confusion.

“Well, yes,” Allen admitted. “But they don’t talk or anything, so it doesn’t really matter.”

Lavi, Lenalee, and Krory all stared at him.

 _Amusement!_ cackled Iron Hammer, reaching over to slap Allen fondly on the knee. _Glee!_

Crown Clown and Allen both silently disapproved at him, and Dark Boots paused in her importance-of-health lecture to roll her eyes, but then barreled right along.

_Irritation. Disapproval. Crown Clown crumpling. Allen’s left arm deactivating when he most needs it. Indignation. Disgust. Komui and his drill. Impatience._

“There’s no time,” Allen said softly, too softly for even Lenalee, right beside him, to make out, frowning at Dark Boots apologetically. “As soon as possible, I promise.”

Crown Clown gave him a fond, tolerant smile, and Allen smiled back quickly before looking back at Lavi’s snort.

“You’re something else, beansprout.”

...Any secret but this one. Any secret at all, and Allen could keep it, but he couldn’t hide his friends. He smiled sheepishly at them, laughing a little and scratching the back of his head.

“Who’s he talking to?” Krory stage-whispered to Lavi, sounding plaintive.

“He does that,” Lavi admitted cheerfully. “Don’t worry about it, Krorykins. It’s probably something traumatic from his past. It usually is.”

 _Amusement! Fondness._ Iron Hammer grinned at Lavi, then looked at Allen and repeated, _Fondness._

Allen blinked at him, startled, and Crown Clown’s hand landed on his shoulder, making him look up.

 _Agreement, fondness._ Crown Clown smiled at him, and Allen flushed a little. Crown Clown’s eyes were warm, but he gestured again to the other exorcists, who… were staring at him again.

Lenalee shook her head with a fond smile. “Anyway, Allen, can I see your arm again? I’m still worried about it.”

Allen hesitated. It was almost unnoticeable, but it made Crown Clown’s smile vanish and Lavi frown. Then he held out his arm. Lenalee wouldn’t hurt him. She’d seen it before, anyway.

Sure enough, she took it and whipped the glove off easily, pushed the sleeve up, and held it up a little, examining it with concern.

 _Emphasis!_ Dark Boots growled at Crown Clown, who waved her off dismissively.

There were very few humans that Allen was really comfortable with. Actually, alive now, there was only one: Cross.

But his friends… Lenalee and Lavi and Miranda and Krory and even, ugh, _Kanda…_ There was something about them. He liked them, they were nice and they were real and… He liked them. And he wasn’t exactly sure what to make of that.

He just knew that he would do… almost anything for them, to keep them safe, keep them happy. Almost anything. And sometimes he wondered how long that ‘almost’ would last.

Behind him, unseen, Crown Clown’s smile returned, soft and anticipatory even past the slight shake and tremble.

Allen’s smile vanished as he grimaced at his arm. He hoped they found Cross soon, and he never thought he’d say that; he was starting to worry about Crown Clown’s condition.

Lenalee looked worried, too, and Lavi was leaning over Krory to frown at it. Krory’s eyes were wide, and Iron Hammer’s eyes flicked from the arm to shivering Crown Clown and back, a slow-growing frown on his face.

“You really should get that looked at, sprout,” Lavi told him. His hand hovered near the surface of Allen’s arm, but he didn’t seem to want to touch it, though Allen suspected it was because it might crumble more. “It won’t help any of us if your arm shuts down on you.”

“I know, I know,” Allen agreed, waving his free arm. “I will, okay? I promise.” He smiled.

_Anger!_

Dark Boots’ sharp tone made Allen start and look up, and he found her glaring at Iron Hammer, who was looking right back, eyes flashing.

 _Certainty,_ Iron Hammer growled back, starting to stand up to meet Dark Boots eye-to-eye. _Agreement! Allen in his uniform, Crown Clown backing him up!_

_Crown Clown falling! Allen gasping on the ground!_

Both of them looked at Allen, equally angry, and he leaned back a little, silver eyes flickering between them warily.

Both of them had a point. Neither he nor Crown Clown were any good to anyone dead, but all the same, they had an obligation to fight for as long as they possibly could, to do their job.

Fingers snapped in front of his face, and he blinked. Lenalee was looking at him, concerned, slowly withdrawing her hand.

“Is something wrong, Allen?” she asked, slow and careful, eyes worried.

He blinked, and then smiled, fake but reassuring. “No, nothing.”

She sighed. “I wish you would be more open with us,” she said instead of pretending to fall for it, and all three of them - Allen, Iron Hammer, and Dark Boots - deflated a little.

Allen shrugged and looked back to the train tracks. Behind them, the Innocences settled down again. Crown Clown set his hand on Allen’s shoulder, and Allen felt it tremble.

“Maybe someday,” Allen said quietly.

He might like that. If he thought it would be okay.

He might like that.

 

 


	9. Stretch

The instant Allen was sucked into the beast, the breath whooshed out of him and he felt dizzy.

_Grief! Rage! Agony! Betrayal! Fury!_

Inside the strange creature, ropes of blinding green power whipped and rolled - more power than the Innocence should itself possess. The realization, the realization that Suman's Innocence was trying to  _murder_  him, made Allen sick.

Crown Clown was the most important person in Allen's life; he was always with Allen, like what a parent should be. He couldn't imagine doing anything to make him this angry… and he couldn't imagine Crown Clown turning on him, either. Not in a thousand lifetimes.

_Solemnity._

Crown Clown laid a hand on Allen's shoulder, and then pushed him slightly, encouraging him forward. Allen had to understand this, to learn, to grow. Allen stumbled a little, but he went further, eyes wide with horror.

In the heart of the storm, he could just make out a crouched figure, with dark hair and a large, sturdy build, all muscle, with an enraged expression that perfectly matched the feelings saturating the air.

_Misery! Torment! Disgust! Grief, grief, anguish! Pain! Pain! Rage!_

"Innocence," Allen called out, voice little more than a hoarse croak. Still, it was enough; the Innocence's head whipped up, and his snarl widened, eyes hollow and burning with hellfire. "Innocence, please, don't- Suman-" He couldn't form the words, his tongue stumbled over itself, and he felt a mixture of hopelessness and horror and growing anger and determination.

The Innocence had its right to a good partner, a loyal one, but Allen could not stand here and watch someone be killed. He would not. He would not!

_Alarm!_

Crown Clown jerked Allen back, but was too slow; in the next moment, a rope of power lashed out at Allen and pushed both him and Crown Clown out of the beast to sprawl on the ground outside, and Allen was left with the image of the anguish in the Innocence's eyes.

Allen rolled over and pushed himself up, raising his head to meet Crown Clown's eyes. Crown Clown looked solemn, rising from a crouch of his own and looking away to Suman.

"Why?" was all Allen managed to whisper, stomach churning and an ache in his chest. "Crown Clown,  _why?"_  Why would an Innocence do this, an Innocence who had once chosen this person to wield them, to use them? Who had once trusted this person completely?

 _Regret. Suman turning from an akuma. The Innocence's enraged eyes._  Crown Clown nodded at Allen, dim and disappointed.  _Allen fighting. Allen fighting with an arm that was breaking down. Allen fighting when he was hurt and hurting. And then, Suman running. Suman running._

Allen swallowed a lump in his throat. "Oh."

Suman had betrayed the Innocence.

But that wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to let Suman die, Allen couldn't… He… Damn it.  _Damn it!_

He stood up, rushing back to the whirling beast. "Suman!" he called desperately. Lenalee would be so upset. Lavi would get that look again. Komui would be devastated, and… "Don't give up! Hang on! I'll get you out of there!"

"Who… Who's there?"

A head pushed itself from the strange skin, gasping for breath and crying blood, staring unseeingly.

"Who are you?"

Tears spilled from Allen's eyes. No, no, no, this was… this was  _awful,_  he… "Suman?"

He had to get Suman out. He had to save Suman. He didn't deserve this, and Allen wouldn't let this happen. He wouldn't let this human die.

No matter what Suman's Innocence believed.

Allen had always trusted the judgement of Innocences, but… for all their power and all their wisdom, they weren't everything. Sometimes… sometimes, Allen wanted to decide for himself. Even if he was wrong, even if it went against God, against the Innocences, he would stick by  _his_  beliefs.

And he  _would not let Suman die._

Behind him, Crown Clown smiled, small and sad.

_Approval._

* * *

Allen couldn't move. It hurt to breathe. It hurt just to exist; his chest hurt, his vision was darkening, and he felt numb and painful by turns, in patches, all over his body.

He was scared. He didn't want… didn't want to die. But it was hard to breathe, and he couldn't stop staring.

Dust, all that remained of Crown Clown, floated all around the clearing. Over and over, he saw, in his mind's eye, Crown Clown crumpling to the ground as pain throttled his left arm, Crown Clown lying still, and then bursting into dust as Tyki tossed his arm aside like a piece of trash. Like something easy to forget.

"Crown Clown?" Allen croaked. Tears flowed from his eyes. He tried to reach to the air with his remaining hand, but it shook, and he couldn't hold it up. It fell. "C-crown Clown?"

He felt small. He felt weak. Where was… Where was...

"C-crown…" He shuddered, and a soft gasp left his throat. He hurt all over, but he was going numb. His vision was darkening, and the pain in his chest, especially, was blinking. "C-crow…"

He couldn't find Crown Clown. Why couldn't he find Crown Clown? He was scared. Crown Clown couldn't be dead. He couldn't believe that. He couldn't. There was… there was no way...

He couldn't think. It was hard to breathe.

His eyes shut, and Allen fell limp. The dust swirled agitatedly around him, and, slowly, a form made of dust coalesced into a boy-shaped figure, which crouched in front of Allen and laid a hand on his head.

_Hope. Comfort. Hope._

Some of the dust trickled down Allen's throat into his chest, and the form burst again as a seal was formed in Allen's heart, saving his life, for now.

_Patience._

Crown Clown wasn't dead yet, and if he had any say in it, Allen would survive this night as well.

Crown Clown wasn't sure what he would do otherwise.


	10. Second Interlude: The Bookman Apprentice

_A strike on the anvil._   
_Red-hot metal being beaten into shape._   
_A blow that smashes walls and breaks bones._

Once, perhaps three or four centuries ago, Iron Hammer had spent a couple decades as a slate tablet in a classroom.

Iron Hammer couldn't actually remember  _why_  he had done this. You couldn't do shit against akuma as a classroom tablet, and his name had been  _Board of Enlightenment,_  for crying out loud.

But he wouldn't deny that it had been an interesting experience. Humans were fascinating, their thoughts and philosophies more so, and ever since, Iron Hammer had possessed an almost rabid sort of curiosity. He'd never been a board again, but he did gain a preference for scholars.

But these scholars, they were  _old._  Not only did they not live long, their thoughts tended to lack the inspiration and innovation he loved in humans.

Bookman was of this sort - intelligent, dedicated to learning, but with an interesting, fiery edge to him, defensive and loyal and fierce when called upon. If Heaven Compass had not claimed him first, Iron Hammer might have considered it.

Then Bookman took him to Lavi.

Lavi was everything Iron Hammer admired in humans. His ideas were new and original, he adapted quickly, and he had a curiosity to rival Iron Hammer's own. He  _thought,_  and he  _learned._

Best of all, Iron Hammer realized quickly that Lavi had a  _heart,_  a strong, defiant one buried in Bookman's teachings and bound with his pitch-black eye patch.

When an Innocence chose an accommodator, they picked someone they would trust to wield them against their shared enemy. It wasn't always someone who  _was_  great, but it was always someone who could  _become_  great.

Lavi was that sort of accommodator. His heart was dried and set aside, withering away in scrolls, but it wasn't gone, not even close. Iron Hammer wanted to see it grow, to see it burst and fill, to see him become the person Iron Hammer knew he could be, caring and brave and loyal to a fault.

Lavi had ambition as well; Iron Hammer could admire that, and in anyone else, he would have cheered them on quietly from the sidelines. Unfortunately, Lavi was Iron Hammer's, so that meant that his ambition to become a Bookman would have to go. Eventually.

At first, Iron Hammer had been impatient, wishing that Lavi would just  _get on with it_  and realize that  _clearly,_  he was meant to be an exorcist.

But there were other factors at work than just Lavi's personality.

At night, Lavi talked to Iron Hammer. Iron Hammer didn't answer him, of course - Lavi wouldn't hear him. But he did listen.

Lavi loved history. He'd grown up in it - been raised in it. By Bookman, whom Lavi admired and considered a role model, and who, from the sound of things, had taken Lavi out of a bad situation (Iron Hammer still didn't know how Lavi had lost his eye) and into a world Lavi loved.

Except for one thing: all the fighting. Lavi, as it developed, hated how much humans fought, and thought that it was pointless. Iron Hammer always felt a flash of anger at that, but he didn't argue. There was no point. Lavi would learn. He always did.

Iron Hammer liked Lavi. He was funny and he cared for the people around him, even when he tried not to. He had a strong will, too, and Iron Hammer wanted to see that potential brought out to its fullest. He wanted Lavi to  _live._

Lavi adapted quickly to the Order, to suspecting humans. Doug had been a hard lesson to him, but an important one, even if the whole process had made Iron Hammer panic a few times, made him worry. And then Lavi started to make friends.

This, Iron Hammer figured, would be the most important part. Lavi had to make friends, and he had to defend those friends, and that would help him learn. Iron Hammer was excited, and he'd readily admit it.

Lavi needed friends; he was lonely, with just Bookman, and alone. 'Lavi' might be closer to Lavi's real personality than probably any role he'd taken on so far, but it wasn't there, and it made things hard on Lavi, which made Iron Hammer worry a little. It wasn't good for him, for anyone, to be alone. No slight against Bookman, but Lavi needed other people.

But there was more.

If Lavi had people he cared about, people who cared about him, then he would have a reason to fight, his  _own_  reason. And each friend he made was another step toward independence from Bookman, and another reason to help them win this war.

Because for all Iron Hammer's curiosity, for all his admiration and excitability and anticipation and patience, he was still a fragment of the God Matter. He was still an anti-akuma weapon, created with one purpose, and one purpose only: to destroy akuma and win the Holy War.

Everything else came second.


	11. If At First

As soon as Allen entered the spacious, arching chamber, he almost collapsed with relief.

Crown Clown, faded and ghostly but distinctly not dead, sat cross-legged in the middle of the room. As Allen entered, he looked up and smiled, raising a hand in greeting. The dust that swirled around the room settled on his shoulders and even within him, copying his form.

Allen had very nearly panicked when he woke up and Crown Clown wasn't with him; Crown Clown was _always_ with him when he woke up. Crown Clown's form must be keeping him from leaving this room.

"We believe that the figure-" Bak began.

Allen wasn't listening. He knew it was stupid, but _God,_ he'd been so worried and he was still a little frightened and damn it, he wanted to talk to Crown Clown.

He made a beeline straight for the figure sitting in the middle of the room and dropped in front of him, worried.

"Crown Clown, are you alright?" he blurted out, silver eyes worried. "Are you hurt too badly, can you get better?"

Crown Clown smiled at him and shifted up to hug him gently, and Allen hugged back without thinking, relieved. _Reassurance. Certainty. Confidence. Relief._

"Okay," Fou said to no one in particular, sounding faintly annoyed and a little bemused. "So who else is confused here?"

"Walker," Bak said cautiously, stepping forward. Allen cringed and sat back, releasing Crown Clown in favor of giving Bak a worried, slightly frightened look. "Did you… know about it already?"

Crown Clown made a dismissive gesture at Bak, who was visibly startled by it, stopping short where he stood. Allen looked back at Crown Clown, confused, and Crown Clown gave him a serious look.

_Concern. Innocence dust filtering down Allen's throat to settle in his heart, sealing a breach. ?_

"I'm fine," Allen assured him, smiling slightly. "I'm okay. Thank you."

Crown Clown smiled. _Relief. Happiness._

"Walker!" Fou said loudly, plopping down beside Allen to scowl at him. Wong hovered behind Bak, wide-eyed, and Bak studied him with a strange, slightly unnerving interest. "So, I'm gonna take a random shot in the dark and say it didn't surprise you _half_ as much as it surprised us."

Allen flinched. "I, um… I…" Words, as they tended to do under stress, failed him, and he couldn't think of a lie or an excuse.

Fou made an irked sound in the back of her throat, raising an eyebrow. "You _what?"_ she prompted irritably. He stared at her, unable to think of words.

"Walker," Bak prompted, crouching down in front of him. "Remember, we just want to help you get back on your feet." He chuckled ruefully. "After all, it's in our best interests to have you out there." He started to reach out, stopped when Allen cringed away, and sighed, looking more solemn now. "If you want to keep it a secret, it can stay between us, but we do need to know."

Allen stared at him, and then Crown Clown nudged him and gave him a nod. Allen took a deep breath and nodded back, casting his gaze to the ground.

 _In for a penny, in for a pound,_ he told himself, and he explained, "Him. Crown Clown's a him." A moment of hesitation, and then he continued, "Innocences… always have human forms, I just… guess the dust settled on him, so…" Allen trailed off uncomfortably. They were staring at him. Crown Clown gave them a cold look and shifted a little closer to Allen.

"And you know this, because…?" Bak trailed off expectantly, leaning forward with interest. Allen leaned back subconsciously, tensing up a little, and finished for him,

"Because I can see them, with or without dust."

They stared at him. He shifted back, his one arm moving to fist in his left side, unable to grasp an arm that wasn't there.

In a hushed voice, Bak said at last, "Walker, do you know how _amazing_ that is?"

Allen started. Crown Clown reached up and squeezed his shoulder gently. _Pride. Fondness._

"What?" Allen asked, not sure he'd heard correctly.

"That's _amazing,"_ Bak repeated, and Wong was nodding, and Fou was looking away but not disagreeing. "Innocence, it's… it's a mystery, and to know… Are they really _people,_ Walker?" He looked fascinated, and slowly, Allen smiled back.

"Yeah," he answered softly. "They're… they're always people. They're all different." He considered briefly, and then looked at Crown Clown, who nodded back. "Crown Clown… I guess he looks about fourteen? And he always has, he doesn't age."

"Fourteen? Really?" Bak asked, fascinated, sitting down beside Allen and staring intently at Crown Clown as if he could see more than the dust with sheer willpower alone. "Do they all look that young?"

Allen shook his head instantly. "No, they're all ages. Iron Hammer looks a little over twenty-five, and Judgement, my master's Innocence, looks more like thirty-five."

"Wow," Bak breathed. And then, almost childishly eager, "What does your Innocence look like?"

Allen looked at Crown Clown, who smiled slightly in amusement. _Acquiescence. Amusement._

"He has red hair," Allen said at last, struggling for words a little, in a way he hardly did anymore. "It's really neat. And green eyes - all Innocences have green eyes, same shade as a raw Innocence." He smiled a little. "And freckles. Crown Clown has a lot of freckles."

Crown Clown rolled his eyes, but he was still smiling slightly. Still, apparently done, he reached forward and attracted Bak's attention, and then stood up, hands going behind his back in a more expectant position. _Expectation. Impatience._

Allen nodded quickly in agreement and hopped to his feet, leaving Bak confused and amusingly put out on the ground. "What? What did I miss?"

"Crown Clown wants to get going," Allen explained. "I mean. We _can_ resynchronize, right?" He shot Crown Clown an anxious glance, and Crown Clown smiled and nodded in return.

He could see Bak struggling not to pounce on that, but he did, in the end, stand up and brush himself off, returning to a businesslike demeanor like he'd held before.

"Right. Of course."

* * *

Allen was even more uneasy with the entry of Rikei, Lo Fa, and Shifu, in addition to Fou, Wong, and Bak, but this took priority. Activating, returning to the battlefield, took priority.

He wasn't sure what they made of the dust figure across from Allen, but he _did_ know that they didn't know what he could do - Bak had promised him he'd keep it a secret, and Allen didn't have much choice but to trust him.

Now, though, Allen focused.

He wanted to go back to the battlefield. He wanted to protect his friends. And to do that, he had to reactivate Crown Clown, to become one with him again. They had to synchronize.

Crown Clown nodded at him once, and Allen swung his stump of a left arm forward, calling forth the familiar feeling of activation and picturing his huge, bone white weapon.

"Activate!" he called out, and Crown Clown reached for him. His dusty form dissolved and rushed toward Allen, and the loose dust around the room swirled violently and then rushed toward him.

Triumphant cries echoed behind him, but he didn't lose focus. He had to go back. He had to save his friends! _He had to save his friends!_

His left arm formed, huge and strong, and Allen let a bright smile cross his face, eyes sparkling. "We did it, Crown Clown!"

And then the arm burst to dust, and he and Crown Clown were left staring at each other, equally wide-eyed, stunned into stillness. The humans behind him fell silent.

"...Crown Clown?" Allen asked, voice soft and worried and a little bit hurt. _Was he not good enough anymore? Because he'd lost?_

Crown Clown blinked, though, looking almost as lost and confused as Allen did. _Confusion. Worry. Incomprehension._ Crown Clown reached forward again, and Allen's anxiety transformed into determination.

He wasn't going to quit after a single failure, after all.

And so they tried to activate again. And again. And again.

Crown Clown's expression grew increasingly frustrated, and Allen's right along with it, for the next hour, as they tried again and again, to absolutely no effect. And neither of them had any idea why.

 _Frustration!_ Crown Clown fumed, pacing back and forth as Allen panted, taking a brief break while Wong hovered anxiously. _Incomprehension! Worry!_

"I don't know," Allen gasped out, shaking his head. "I don't know why it's not working."

"It's not your Innocence?" Bak asked, glancing at Crown Clown apprehensively.

Allen shook his head. "He's not sure what's wrong either." He took a final deep breath and straightened up. "We're synchronizing just fine, but we can't seem to take the next step."

"You will," Bak said firmly, and Allen smiled.

"Of course we will," Allen threw back, trying to be confident. He and Crown Clown had made it this far, and this sure as hell wasn't going to stop them.

* * *

Two days later, this certainty had barely wavered, but his frustration had grown by leaps and bounds. One attempt, which blew Allen back into a pillar, had Allen struggling with himself, angry tears filling ashen eyes.

Crown Clown crossed the room instantly, kneeling beside Allen just as Bak entered. He paused in place, watching the dust shape enfold Allen into a hug, which the boy leaned into readily, shaking slightly.

It was still amazing to him, that _anyone_ could have such an ability, and even more, that Innocences were _people._ That they were truly _that sentient._

Allen didn't have that problem at all, of course, and he seemed to have a very interesting relationship with his Innocence, treating it… him, like a mixture of mentor and parent, a dynamic that Bak somehow doubted was echoed in other exorcists.

Like now. Bak felt like he was awkwardly intruding on a very private moment; Allen looked close to tears, and understandably so, as he'd been going at this almost constantly for two days now. His Innocence, or what little of him Bak could see, was holding him gently, seemingly content to wait this out.

"I'm sorry," Allen whispered to his Innocence hoarsely, barely audible to Bak. "I'm sorry, Crown Clown, I'm trying, I'm trying. I don't know what's wrong."

Crown Clown reached up and his fingers brushed through Allen's hair; Bak could see the locks shifting in response, though he knew that if the Innocence touched _him,_ it would go right through.

Allen shuddered in response to something Crown Clown must have said (even though Allen had assured Bak that Innocences didn't speak in words) and then, after a moment, pushed himself away and smiled weakly at his Innocence. "You're right, of course. Yes, I'll keep trying. We'll get this, Crown Clown. I promise."

Crown Clown nodded at him, and Bak took that moment to enter.

It boggled his mind, though, that Allen didn't understand how amazing this was.


	12. Deduction

"Allen," Bak said at last, lying on the ground with a cloth over his eyes. Allen watched him bemusedly. "Why do you think an Innocence chooses to be an equipment type, rather than a parasite?"

 _Puzzlement. Interest._ Crown Clown gave Bak a curious look. Bak, having a cloth over his eyes, didn't notice.

Allen tilted his head. "Well, Crown Clown's told me that he likes to be close to his accommodators, and that's why he chooses to be a part of their body. But he's also very selective." He considered for a moment. "I don't know exactly why Dark Boots and Mugen chose to be equipment types."

"Guess," Bak prompted. There was something odd in his voice, Allen mused, but he took the question at face value and thought about it.

"Dark Boots and Mugen are both very independent," he said at last, choosing his words carefully. "They both like their accommodators a lot, but I don't think they'd enjoy being that closely connected to them. Judgement might not have as much of a problem with it, but I don't think he'd like it, either."

Crown Clown nudged Allen, drawing a curious look. _Encouragement. Patience._

Allen 'hm'ed thoughtfully.

"Walker?" Bak questioned.

"Crown Clown says I'm missing something," Allen explained, raising his knees to his chest. "Um…" The only other parasite type Innocence he could think of off the top of his head was Grave of Maria, and she was nothing but a shadow of her former self. Any reasons she'd had for choosing this were long forgotten.

_Bloody Krory frowning at Krory._

"Oh!" Allen smiled and nodded. "Bloody Krory. He actually has a very interesting effect on Krory's personality…" He trailed off for a moment, and then picked up again. "I think he doesn't necessarily trust Krory to get himself fired up enough every time he needs to, and that's why. He'd probably bail Krory out if he got into deep enough trouble, too." Allen laughed, soft and rueful. "Crown Clown's actually done that for me a few times, too."

Crown Clown nodded at him, fondness in his eyes, and Allen held his smile for a few moments before it faded slightly; none of the times he'd needed it were good memories. But he was glad to have Crown Clown with him.

"Could an equipment type do that?" Bak asked him.

 _Interest. Curiosity._ Crown Clown frowned at Bak.

"...No," Allen said slowly, trying to figure out where Bak was going with this, silver eyes on the Branch Director. "No, they couldn't."

"Why not?"

Now Wong was looking at him, too, strange and expectant. Allen frowned, mulled it over, and replied, "I suppose they don't have enough control in the form they take. There isn't enough connection with the accommodator to do what Bloody Krory does, and a weapon can't use itself, unlike a part of a body."

Bak nodded, and Wong looked back down to the apples he was peeling, apparently satisfied. Allen wondered why he felt like he'd passed some sort of test.

"Because they are restrained by a weapon," Bak elaborated, "which makes synchronization easier on the exorcist."

 _Solemnity._ Crown Clown shrugged. _Agreement, confirmation, patience._

"However, a parasite type user synchronizes directly with the Innocence," Bak continued, oblivious. Allen and Crown Clown both frowned, neither one quite following. "In a way, they are the weapon."

Allen tilted his head. "I… am the weapon?" he echoed, rolling that thought over in his head.

 _Warning, anger!_ Crown Clown bristled, flashing eyes glaring at Bak in irritation. Wong looked up again and winced even at what little he could see.

"Perhaps you could have found a better way to phrase that," he murmured to Bak, who frowned.

"I apologize if I caused offense," Bak said, possibly more calmly than if he could see the frustration rolling off of Crown Clown. "I only meant that Allen must restrain your power into a form himself, a job normally taken by a weapon created by the Science Department."

 _Dissatisfaction._ Still simmering, Crown Clown sat back again.

Taking the lack of (relayed) response as permission to continue, Bak said, "Walker, did you know that the first thing the Science Department does with an Innocence is to learn about it?"

"No, I didn't," Allen said cautiously.

 _Realization._ Crown Clown's face resolved itself into solemnity. _Aversion._

"They learn its attributes, its style," Bak confirmed. "They learn what form would suit it best." He hesitated visibly, and then finished, "However, a parasite type must do this for themselves."

Allen gave Crown Clown a worried look, not missing the implication. "Crown Clown?"

Crown Clown sighed. _Confirmation._

Allen paled sharply, eyes widening and flooding with guilt. "I'm sorry!" How self-centered was he, that he didn't know enough about his closest friend to even be able to use him right?

 _Reassurance._ Crown Clown placed a hand on Allen's head, smiling gently, and Allen settled reluctantly, looking at him still with wide, distressed silver eyes. Bak pulled off the cloth at last and sat up, turning his head to look at them both. _Allen in the womb. Dust flooding and flowing around him. Light that was too bright. Fear, worry, alarm. The light dimmed. One arm twisted and deformed; the fetus remained intact._

"Oh," Allen said softly, still a little guilty, but less so.

"What did he say?" Bak asked, startled and curious.

Allen bit his lip and struggled to translate for a moment. Crown Clown smiled at him patiently, and Bak tried not to look too eager. "He said," Allen said at last, "that when he bonded with me, before I was born-" Bak's eyes widened. "-he tried at first to take a form that was too strong for me, and it almost killed me. So he held back and took the one he has- well, he had before." Allen deflated.

 _Allen activating for the first time,_ Crown Clown added, frowning with some measure of dismay on his face. _The first form Crown Clown took. Dismay, resignation._ Allen ducked his head.

"He'd thought that he would be able to change when I first activated," he elaborated for out-of-the-loop Bak and Wong. "But it didn't work."

"I see," Bak said thoughtfully, and Wong nodded wisely. "But now you can't return to that form." Crown Clown raised his head, apparently intrigued. "Walker, can Crown Clown show you what form he meant to take?"

Allen looked at Crown Clown, eyes shining with question. Crown Clown shook his head, but then he thought for a moment and offered,

_Solid earth and the cloudy sky. A graveyard with a fresh-dug grave and a wailing newborn child. Black and white._

"Duality," Allen repeated, and Crown Clown nodded. "He can't tell me," he explained to Bak, "but he gave me a hint." He looked back to his old friend and smiled, confident and reassuring. "Don't worry, Crown Clown. We can work this out. I promise I'll learn."

Crown Clown smiled at him. _Confidence. Certainty._

"About that," Bak said, with a small smile. "I may have an idea."

* * *

Bak's idea was not working as well as he had hoped, and Allen was becoming more discouraged by the day.

He was sleeping now, though, so Bak took the time to enter the room where the dust of his Innocence still spun. Crown Clown sat where he always did, cross-legged in the center of the room, waiting patiently.

"Crown Clown?" Bak called out hesitantly, unsure of his welcome. Despite Allen's continuous assurances that Crown Clown was very much a person like any other, Bak was having trouble reading him like one. For one thing, he had no idea what the Innocence thought of him.

Crown Clown lifted his head and looked at him, tilting his head slightly in question; Bak could see the shape of his head but not the look on his face.

Now that he thought of it, maybe that was what made him so hard to read.

"May I speak to you?" Bak asked him, and Crown Clown stared at him for a long moment before nodding. "Thank you."

Bak sat down in front of Crown Clown, matching his position, and they spent a few minutes just sizing each other up. Finally, Crown Clown shifted to place his hands in his lap and leaned back slightly. Bak took the hint for what it was and started.

"Your accommodator is becoming very discouraged."

Crown Clown deflated slightly and nodded.

"But you seem no less certain that he can do it than when you began," Bak continued, studying the dusty form carefully. Crown Clown sat up straighter and nodded firmly. "Why is that?"

Crown Clown tilted his head at him, and then reached up and tapped his chest with one finger.

"His heart," Bak repeated back slowly, and Crown Clown nodded, and then gestured for him to go on. "His heart is… strong?" Crown Clown nodded. "Is that how all Innocences choose their partners?"

Crown Clown nodded again, but then held up one finger and tapped his head.

"He's smart?" Bak guessed.

Crown Clown shook with something that might have been laughter and shrugged, shaking his head. That wasn't it. Bak grimaced, laughed at himself a little, and thought about it for a moment. Crown Clown tapped his chest again, and then his head.

"So, his personality?" Bak asked. Crown Clown nodded. "Do you like him? Or is he well suited to becoming an exorcist?" Crown Clown radiated disapproval. Bak blanched. "I mean. Of course you like him! But is that why you chose him?" Crown Clown shook his head. "So the second, then." Crown Clown nodded. Bak considered that. "Do different Innocences look for different qualities?"

Crown Clown nodded, and Bak exhaled slowly, closing his eyes for a moment.

That explained… so much. It explained why they could never figure out what Innocences looked for in accommodators. It explained why there were so many inconsistencies, so many unanswered questions, so many contradictions. It explained why they never seemed to get anywhere. They'd been doing it all wrong.

This changed _everything._

When he opened his eyes again, Crown Clown was gesturing for him to go on, visibly impatient, and Bak was forced to shove his dismay aside in favor of his actual reason for coming here.

"Do you know of any way we can help Walker?" Bak asked the Innocence; watching Walker's increasing distress was becoming distressing in and of itself, and it wasn't helping his progress, either.

Crown Clown shifted in place, and one arm moved to tap his knee for a few moments before stopping. His gaze never broke away from Bak. Bak sighed and thought for a few more moments.

"He's only fifteen," Bak said slowly, uncertainty and concern wrapping itself around his voice. Crown Clown made a cutting motion with one hand, though. "No?" Bak wasn't sure whether to be more amused or dismayed, if Crown Clown was able to cut short his train of thought that easily. Okay, so another approach. "Walker seems very worried about his friends."

Crown Clown nodded. He was being very patient with Bak, the man noted ruefully. The Innocence shifted again to lean forward slightly, arms folded across his lap, like he could wait eons. Only he couldn't. They didn't have that kind of time.

"It's making him lose focus," Bak continued, careful and cautious, watching Crown Clown for any hints of signs of disapproval or disagreement. "Does he need reminded of something?" Crown Clown nodded. "Can we help with that?" Crown Clown shook his head. "Can we help at all?"

Crown Clown tilted his head again and stared at him. Bak held his gaze, willing all his honesty and desire to help forward. Finally, Crown Clown nodded.

"Is he…" Bak trailed off, thinking. He'd spent too much time away from the thick of things; he'd forgotten how these people thought. "Worrying too much about what could happen?" Crown Clown nodded. Bak frowned. "Happy thoughts, then." Crown Clown nodded again. "Perhaps about his friends?"

Nod. Bak smiled.

"We can do that." The next chance he got. Perhaps it was about time Walker had some happy thoughts. "Thank you for your help, Crown Clown."

Bak made to stand up, and to his surprise, Crown Clown rose with him. He gave the Innocence a questioning look, and Crown Clown stared at him again for a long moment.

Finally, Crown Clown bowed - formal, like an English gentleman, but shallow. Bak smiled, somewhat softer than before.

"Thank you," Bak repeated, "and I promise I'll do everything I can."


	13. Synchronization

_"Love me! Love me! You exist for us, don't you?"_

And everything fell into place.

Earth and sky. Death and birth. Black and white.

Humans and akuma.

Allen smiled, a strange, warm feeling starting to run through him. "That's right."

He couldn't see Crown Clown anywhere, but he could feel him in the back of his mind, humming with anticipation and with the same love of battle Allen was. He only half-listened to the words of the akuma's physical body, most of his attention on the soul trapped within.

He'd forgotten. He'd forgotten why he first started to fight. Half of why he fought even now.

He'd forgotten.

He had no weapon, but that didn't matter to Allen; Crown Clown's energy, still struggling to find a form, crackled around him, and that would be enough. An eerie calm had settled over him, making it difficult to panic.

_I was going to live to fight the akuma… and save their lost souls. That was to be my sole purpose in life._

"Fo!"

He diverted some of his attention from the akuma soul to watch Bak wade through the water to reach Fo, who floated, dull-eyed, in the middle. He'd have to keep the fight away from them.

_I dedicated myself to it. But in the end, I…_

His train of thought derailed as, dodging another blow from the fast-moving level three (it had to be a level three, it was the strongest akuma he'd ever faced, and yet he felt no alarm) he impacted a pillar, and- Cracked.

He wasn't entirely aware of what happened then, but the next thing he knew, he was in the water, only one hand still reaching for the sky, reaching for Crown Clown. In all honesty, he barely noticed.

_Crown Clown… the humans were important to you, too, once. Weren't they? But you hated them for what they did to me, just like I did. Unlike me, you never forgot. You never forgot that they deserved to be saved._

_The akuma used to mean so much more to me. You cared for them, too, Crown Clown, and you encouraged me to save them. You always encouraged me._

_You cared for both of them, for the humans and the akuma. But you were so patient with me, when I cared only for the akuma. Thank you._

_But now, it's not just you._

_I care for both of them, too. I'll save them, Crown Clown. Our left hand for the akuma… my right for the humans…_

_We'll save them._

Crown Clown appeared, in a rush of particles that sent air currents swirling through the room. He went to Bak and Fo first; Allen would be sad if they died. He reached with his new hand, the hand to save humans, and caught the Dark Matter without fear. It could not hurt him.

Allen became aware that he was still underwater, but still couldn't bring himself to panic, not with Crown Clown's happiness and contentment running through his veins. In fact, he smiled. He'd finally done something right.

When Crown Clown was able to break away from the fight long enough to rush to Allen, it brought a rush of euphoria that ran through both of them in synchrony. Allen closed his eyes as Crown Clown fixed the damage to his body, and then was lifted from the water while his Innocence wrapped himself around him, humming with pleasure.

Everything about this, Allen registered dimly, felt right in a way that the arm never had. The white cloak that settled snugly over his shoulders and wrapped around his body, the glove on his human hand, the long, slender claws of his otherwise human-sized left arm, and even the mask that would settle so neatly over his eyes if he cared to try.

He and Crown Clown stood together.

He felt _whole._

_Happiness, happiness, happiness, happiness…_

Crown Clown's joyful tones filled the room and brought a faint, but completely genuine smile to Allen's face.

"You…"

Of course, they still had matters to attend to.

Allen turned to face the akuma, unafraid; he had his Innocence's strength on his side, and he could not lose. "You poor tortured akuma soul…" he said softly, watching the tormented face twist and twitch in unfathomable agony. "Rest in peace."

* * *

"Allen? Are you in there?"

"Yes," Allen called back, half-distracted as he fiddled with the collar of his new uniform. Still, he smiled in greeting as Bak entered the room. "What was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"How is Crown Clown?" Bak asked instead of answering.

Crown Clown hummed contently. He was kneeling just behind Allen, chin on his shoulder and arms looped around his neck, a wide, pleased smile on his face - an expression that was almost uncharacteristic of him but made Allen happy anyway.

_Happiness, contentment, pride._

"He's thrilled," Allen told Bak with a smile. "He didn't really expect us to come so far - in fact, he's never synchronized so well with an accommodator before. He hasn't stopped smiling since he materialized."

Crown Clown chuckled and squeezed Allen once before letting go, moving up to sit beside Allen where he sat on the edge of the bed. He looked up at Bak expectantly.

"That's good to hear," Bak smiled. "Where is he?"

Allen tilted his head slightly in puzzlement, then nodded at Crown Clown. "Right there. He waved at you when you came in."

A glimmer of surprise flashed through Bak's eyes, and then he turned to Crown Clown and, to the Innocence's surprise, bowed, deep and respectful. "Thank you very much for saving me and Fo, Crown Clown. We are not your responsibility, and you saved us anyway. Words are not enough to express my gratitude."

 _Startlement._ Crown Clown blinked at Bak, and then he smiled. _Acceptance, appreciation. Bak encouraging Allen. Attempting to communicate with Crown Clown. Gratitude, appreciation. Excitement, expectation. Allen facing the level three. Allen facing a field of level ones. Determination. Faith._

Allen smiled, and then, without waiting to be asked, "He said you're welcome, and that he likes you, because you've been good to us. But he's also looking forward to getting back to the battlefield - it _is_ our responsibility."

Bak inclined his head toward Allen with a small smile. "Thank you as well, Allen, for interpreting, and for all you've done and continue to do for us." He chuckled. "And for humoring me." He raised a hand, starting to back out. "I'll be there to see you off. Come to the central hall when you're ready."

A light of anticipation appeared in Allen's eyes, and he nodded eagerly. "Okay!"


	14. Return to Fight

_Happiness! Delight! Relief!_

Allen had almost forgotten how bouncy Iron Hammer was when he was excited. He smiled fondly, and Crown Clown echoed it, gaze flickering to the older-looking Innocence, who had clapped him on the shoulder, grinning broadly.

_Amusement, understanding. Pride and faith. Allen and Crown Clown in perfect synchronization._

Mugen smirked slightly, hanging back a little with his hands clasped behind him, deceptively relaxed. _Smugness. Confidence, faith._

Allen smiled and gave him a short nod of gratitude, and Lenalee gave him a quizzical look. He smiled at her reassuringly, half thankful that she was too out-of-breath to ask a question.

After the Noah had disappeared, the exorcists had eventually given up trying to understand why they'd done so, and retreated to a safe spot to figure out their next move. On the way, Lavi had introduced Allen to Tiedoll and Marie, and Allen had taken note of the two new Innocences in the group.

Because Lavi was perceptive, he also told Allen about the two exorcists' Innocences, which he appreciated, and it was just as nice to realize that his friends cared enough to notice these things about him.

Maker of Eden was a tall, lithe black man with a big nose and a strong jaw, and long hair done in small, neat braids - shirtless and barefoot, but with a pink-and-red striped cloth tied neatly around his waist, which dropped past his knees. When he'd realized Allen could see him, he gave him a small smile and a nod, with a strange, enigmatic gleam, identical to Tiedoll's, in his bright green eyes.

Noel Organon, on the other hand, was a small boy with light brown hair and tanned skin, maybe six or seven years old, wearing a bright green shirt and khaki shorts. He'd studied Allen with a thoughtful look, before finally giving him a bright, childish smile and skipping back to trail behind Marie, clearly listening even as he pretended not to.

Right now, Tiedoll was leading the group with Lavi and Kanda on either side, and Marie, Miranda, and Bookman were a few steps behind them, with Krory hovering awkwardly to one side until Lavi called him up to talk to him, surreptitiously bringing him out of his shell. Allen, supporting Lenalee, took up the back, surrounded by unseen Innocences. Bloody Krory was orbiting the group, jumpy and on constant, suspicious alert, while Noel Organon and Heaven Compass flanked the middle group by the sides of their respective exorcists.

Maker of Eden was supporting Dark Boots, who, while not as bad off as Lenalee, was dizzy, listing slightly, and a little breathless as well, but smirking in satisfaction all the same. Allen dearly wanted to know what had happened, but he was worried about Time Record, too.

Crown Clown gave him a faint, amused smile and then looked at Mugen first. Miranda walking through the Order's doors. _Time Record, standing behind Miranda. ?_

Mugen nodded in approval. _Reluctance. Satisfaction, contentment._ Knowing full well the true source of the question, he looked at Allen, gave him a short nod, and added, _Time Record, smiling. Gratitude._

Allen smiled at him and gave a pleased nod back, and Lenalee, not oblivious, gave a weak, breathy laugh.

"Oh, I really missed you."

Allen started and gave her a sheepish smile, which softened as she looked up at him. "I missed you too, Lenalee. Really." As he took in her dazed look, it faded into a concerned frown. "Please don't talk. We'll stop soon, okay, Lenalee?"

"Okay," she breathed, eyes falling shut as she unwillingly leaned on him a little more.

Crown Clown was concerned, too, with a furrow in his brow and a frown on his mouth. He looked at Dark Boots in question. _?_

She smirked, and Maker of Eden chuckled, soft and fond like a proud papa. Crown Clown spared him an exasperated smile before looking back to Dark Boots.

 _Lenalee rising high in the sky. Lenalee facing a level three. Forcing her synchro to rise. Pride. Delight. Pride!_ She exhaled briefly. _Concern and faith, pride, patience._

 _!_ Crown Clown gave her a small smile and another nod. _Commendation, happiness. Pride._

"I'm surprised you aren't more concerned," Marie said quietly to Lavi, not drawing the white-haired exorcists attention. Lavi started and looked back, confused.

"Huh? About what? Lenalee?" His frown, uncharacteristic but more common as of late, deepened. "Trust me, I'm plenty worried."

"About her as well," Marie admitted. "But no. I mean… I might not know him well, but Allen seems a little… off."

Lavi's frown remained in place for a few seconds, before realization wiped it away and he nearly doubled up laughing. Kanda was left to reply to Marie's concerns, and he snorted uncharitably.

"Don't waste your time. The beansprout's a goddamn weirdo. It's not worth the brain power to try and figure him out."

"He was a little strange when I met him, too," Miranda admitted, offering Marie a shy smile. "I think he was talking to my clock."

"And around me," Krory put in. Tiedoll's gaze flicked between them thoughtfully, and then he looked at Allen, who was looking back, cheeks slightly pink with embarrassment. He knew his friends thought he was crazy, but he appreciated that they didn't talk about it much.

"Is that so?" Tiedoll mused quietly, with something Allen couldn't read in his eyes, which lingered on Allen. Maker of Eden gave his accommodator an affectionate smile, and then offered Allen a short shrug and a much more ambiguous smile. Then, with a bit more humor in his voice, "You never mentioned that, Yuu."

 _Amusement,_ crowed Noel Organon, folding his hands behind his back and smiling at the ground, shaking with silent giggles. _Delight!_

"Everyone is laughing at me," Allen said mournfully, hiding a smile of his own. "What did I _do?"_

"Don't worry your cute little noggin about it," Lavi called back, face still flushed and grinning. "We like you just the way you are, crazy and all."

Allen sighed and smiled wryly, and Lenalee almost laughed, except for then she passed out, slumping bonelessly against Allen, almost crumpling to the ground before he caught her.

Dark Boots' eyes widened briefly, and a few of the Innocences started violently as well. Iron Hammer spun around and Noel Organon left Marie to peer up at her with concerned eyes. Heaven Compass half-turned, but his eyes were solemn and he didn't move otherwise, except to glance expectantly at Bookman.

"Shit, Lenalee!" Lavi, by contrast, was back beside them in a moment, and the group ground to a halt. Bookman followed his apprentice, and Tiedoll watched with concerned eyes.

A few moments' inspection let Bookman sigh. "She's just exhausted. Let her sleep. Allen, can you carry her?"

"I will," Lavi said instantly. At Allen confused, slightly offended look, he added, half playful and half not, "Coming back from the dead's strenuous stuff, you know! I can handle Lenalee."

"If you're sure," Allen said slowly, letting Lavi take her. "I can carry her, too, you know."

"I know you can," Lavi assured him. "But seriously, I don't want you to wear yourself out." He turned serious. "You really scared us there, beansprout."

If there was one thing that could make Allen quiet, it was that.

"Sorry," he said softly, after a moment.

Lavi flashed him a slightly strained smile. "Hey, it happens. I'm just glad you came back."

"Me, too," Miranda offered quietly.

"And me," Krory added, warmly honest.

Allen smiled. "Thanks," he said, reflecting their honesty back, and more sure of himself than he had been in a long time. Crown Clown squeezed his shoulder fondly, and then let him go to drop back and speak with Maker of Eden, prodding him about exorcists with green eyes and senses of power.

Tiedoll's gaze lingered on Allen for maybe a few moments longer than necessary.


	15. Third Interlude: The Second Swordsman

_A million stars. A thousand planets._   
_A single Earth, with green plants and bustling people._   
_The Earth shimmers and disappears._

Yuu was a good accommodator.

Mugen's favorite forms had always been blades and spears, and the one he took with Yuu was no different. A three-foot broadsword helped Yuu defend his home from the akuma, and when he couldn't do that anymore, he and Alma left.

Shortly after, they'd been recruited into the Order, Mugen's first departure from Japan in centuries.

Yuu had been a gruff man with a surprising amount of patience but no tolerance for incompetence. He'd also been loyal to a fault and determined to get all of his teammates out of any situation, no matter the cost to himself.

Mugen, like Yuu, had a lot of patience but few smiles to offer, and was quietly protective of anyone he called his own, which consisted almost exclusively of his accommodators.

He considered Yuu's death a personal failure on his part.

However, Mugen had been in circulation for a long time, and he'd run through more accommodators than the average Innocence. He wasn't as picky as most of them were; his accommodators just needed to want to fight as much as he did, and they could hit the ground running. However, this same habit had left him hardened and frustrated, and he kept a careful eye on everything, always.

He hated losing his people.

Yuu had been a better match for him than usual, and he could match Mugen step for step, something that took a lot of courage and determination and sheer, undiluted stubbornness. He'd been roughened by years of watching akuma menace his hometown. Of hating them.

And this, this child, this false copy of Yuu who stood before him, with big eyes like a newborn baby and an open, innocent curiosity, was not his accommodator.

Mugen held in his heart a hatred - hatred for everything that had ever hurt the people he cared for. Mostly, this was akuma, but also, now, there was hatred for the Order that had so defiled his accommodator's body and soul. This quality of 'hatred' was what let him synchronize with so many accommodators over the years, who hated akuma for destroying their friends, their families, their lives.

He could not synchronize with a child who'd barely walked his first steps.

When the false copy reached for him, with fascination in his eyes and no fear in his heart, Mugen rejected him with a vengeance. Wounds appeared all through the abomination's artificial body and blood flew and splattered, and Mugen watched coldly as he collapsed to the ground, and the first scars to the recycled soul were struck.

That would teach the scientists of the Order to try and play God, except-

Except the copy survived. The wounds sealed within minutes, and watching, Mugen grew enraged. How dare they? How dare they do this to his accommodator?

Silently, he promised his old accommodator that he would wipe this copy from the Earth, and send his soul to where it could rest. It was the least he deserved.

Mugen was kept in isolation, alone in a room in the lab, for a long time. At least, a long time in human terms. But he could wait.

Again and again, the copy was brought before him. Each time, Mugen rejected him viciously, striking the worst wounds he could, trying to end his life, to release his soul.

Each time, the copy healed, but his eyes got darker every day.

With each attempted synchronization, Mugen could see into the copy's heart. It started as a blank slate, with no motivation, no desire, no drive.

This changed, of course. It was fear, at first, and hurt, hidden beneath a veneer of anger and false rebellion. Mugen was disgusted all over again. Yuu had been a decisive man, an honest one, straight with everyone and sure of himself.

This was not Yuu.

But then, slowly, it started to change again, as day after day passed by. Fear and hurt turned to cynicism, mistrust, and hatred. The anger grew and broiled, and the false rebellion turned more honest by the day. In turn, Mugen grew more and more interested even as he blew the copy back with increasing spite, and the copy reached again as stubbornness grew to fruition.

And then the copy was taken by Yuu's memories, and Alma's copy - a boy in body, this time - tried to take him away, and the copy tried to escape.

When he was taken back, Mugen was waiting.

He was disappointed; he thought that, in time, if the copy learned and grew enough, he could have taken him as his next accommodator, but perhaps this was for the best. If he never learned to be his own person - which Yuu's memories would never permit - he could never be a real exorcist, and Mugen would not be able to take him.

In the copy's final moments, when everyone else had left, Mugen sat beside him, leaning his back against the bed, and, for the first time, reached for the boy, and listened to his thoughts one last time.

It was a memory, one of Yuu's; Mugen remembered it, too.

_"I want to see… A whole field in full bloom. If only we could see it together someday."_

Alma's laugh was the clearest thing in the copy's borrowed memory. _"Really? Even if we grow old, I will be waiting. Forever."_ Softer, _"I'll be waiting."_

That had been early on, when Yuu and Alma were still fleeing Japan. They'd seen that field eventually, but perhaps that memory had failed to reach the copy.

Mugen was only allowed a moment of solemn mourning before he was jerked back to himself by a bolt of strength, and the copy screamed his rage.

Beside him, slowly, a cold, bitter smile curled Mugen's lips, and then it developed into a smirk. Looked like there was some strength left in the boy after all.

His anger spiked, and then his drive to live, and then his hatred. Mugen's bitter smirk never changed as he let himself dissolve and synchronize with this little copy of Yuu, who gained strength the same way as Yuu had.

* * *

Mugen didn't know where Angel Sword's bond to her accommodator's copy had gone wrong, but it had, and he could hear her screams.

This was one difference between Yuu and the boy who was now his. Yuu could never have raised his sword to Alma. He would have sooner died.

This time, he had a different kind of will, one that was harsher and more brittle. One day, Mugen knew, it would snap, and then he would once again be a different boy entirely.

Some nights, Mugen worried about it.

Because Kanda, he'd learned, was not Yuu. Not at all.


	16. Critical Mass

"-and so Gramps said that no, he didn't actually have the authority to kick me out of _anywhere!"_ Lavi finished smugly, arms crossed with an easy grin, twirling his shrunken-but-activated hammer between his fingers.

Lenalee stifled a smile behind her free hand, Allen still holding the other one gently. "That poor bookkeeper," she murmured, hints of amusement creeping past her worry, just like Lavi had intended. "Bookman really is protective of you, isn't he?"

"Protective?" Lavi asked, surprised enough that he stopped twirling Iron Hammer. He stayed like that for a moment, walking only because nothing was in his way, and then chuckled. "Something like that, I guess."

The thoughtfulness in his voice made Allen glance at him, and then he offered Lavi a small smile. "It's easy to see how much he cares for you," he murmured.

Lavi looked a little perturbed by that, and Allen let his smile brighten into one that was more reassuring, until Lavi chuckled, scratching the back of his head.

"I guess," he repeated.

The hallways and stairwells seemed to go on forever, and always, there was the pressing worry for the comrades left behind. It had swiftly become stifling, so much so that Lenalee looked ready to cry and Chaoji couldn't look anyone in the eye, so often was he glancing back.

So Lavi had started telling stories - funny stories, happy stories, things to keep them going. A few times, he'd paused long enough to let Lenalee or Allen start one if they wanted, but, well…

He'd figured out pretty quickly that they didn't have many stories to tell.

With Iron Hammer and Crown Clown both active, there was just Dark Boots around the humans, stumbling behind with no small amount of effort. She didn't seem much in the mood for talking, so Allen left her alone, worried but confident in her ability to keep going. Dark Boots was as strong a girl as Lenalee herself was.

That left Allen to focus on his human friends, and right now, Lavi needed a different topic. He cast about for a story of his own - he didn't have many, and fewer that he could share, but… "Have I ever told you about the time Master got so drunk he passed out on top of a brothel's madam?" he asked. It was a funny memory; Judgement had been yelling at Cross, regardless of whether or not the general could hear him. Allen had taken special glee in relaying it later.

Lenalee clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles, eyes lightening slowly. "Really? I thought he had a high alcohol tolerance."

"He does," Allen muttered, rolling his eyes, still smiling through gritted teeth.

 _Disapproval._ Dark Boots rolled her eyes, too, some ways behind but apparently still listening. Allen cast her a short grin. Dark Boots snorted. _Disdain, irritation, disbelief._

Chaoji followed Allen's gaze and frowned when he saw nothing. He looked back to Allen and opened his mouth, but Lavi shot him a warning look and asked Allen loudly,

"How much did he have to drink?"

Allen was distracted from Dark Boots' rant - apparently she'd encountered Cross herself on more than one occasion - and returned to his original track, letting Dark Boots' voice fade into the background. "Well, we got there early that day, and Master, being Master, decided to start right in-"

Chaoji was, while still a little in awe of the warriors before him, also a little confused.

Allen was, quite clearly, mad. Except, exorcists weren't mad. That sort of thing didn't happen to them. And Lavi and Lenalee were obviously aware of this, but they just… _ignored_ it. Like it wasn't anything to worry about.

Chaoji didn't get it.

"And he was seducing her, but she didn't mind at all," Allen continued, rolling his eyes even while Lavi and Lenalee both laughed. "That changed pretty fast, because right after they started really getting into it, Master just…" He snorted. "Collapsed on top of her. She was furious."

"Of course she was," Lavi laughed, ruffling Allen's hair. Allen frowned at him, brushed his hand away, and moved, and Lavi pretended nothing had happened and continued, "Quite cruel of him, to get her all worked up and then leave her hanging."

 _Disdain,_ Dark Boots repeated rebelliously, and then, reluctantly, _Amusement. Disapproval! Amusement._

Allen cast her another grin but looked back at Lenalee. "I'm kind of worried about what he'll do when he meets you," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. "He has no self-control at all."

 _!_ Suddenly, Dark Boots didn't seem so amused. _Indignation! Agitation. Disapproval._

Lenalee laughed at him, though. "You're sweet, Allen," she said fondly. "I'm sure I'll be fine."

Allen forced a slightly awkward chuckle, not looking at Dark Boots' blazing green eyes. "Yeah, you're probably right."

* * *

The second time Tyki broke Allen's left arm was nearly as painful as the first, and this time, he was blown backwards and almost passed out. It was a few minutes before his mind started to work again, processing Tyki's words, Dark Boots' worry, and Lenalee's frantic calls, and a few more before he could force himself to move.

Still, there was a familiar energy burning in his veins, much like in the minutes before he and Crown Clown resynchronized, and like so many times before that.

There was no feeling better than synchronization. It gave Allen a confidence and a comfort he could never give himself.

He coughed. Blood splattered from his mouth and onto his chest.

"Allen, don't let the Noah touch you," Lenalee warned him, worry tightening her voice. Beside her, Dark Boots' eyes were narrow, her form crouched down but her gaze scrutinizing Allen carefully. "You've got a parasite-type Innocence! They can't damage it without injuring your body!"

Allen smiled. It was nice that she cared, but she needed to have more faith in him. He glanced back at her, making her stop short, and then looked forward again, to Tyki, who also didn't understand.

"Tyki Mikk," he said softly, gathering his thoughts. He wasn't sure why he wanted Tyki to understand this, but… Actually, that was a lie. He knew why. "You don't understand exorcists.

"You think we're like normal humans, that we're harmless if you destroy our Innocence. You think we have no powers of our own." He lifted his head and reached up to wipe the blood off his chin, eyes light and weary. "But have you ever considered… _Why_ Innocences choose the people they do?"

Crown Clown pulsed at him - he could not 'speak' when he was in this form, but instead communicated on a level even more subconscious than he normally did - and Allen took a deep breath and focused, knowing, on an almost primal level, what he and Crown Clown were now able to do.

"Innocence provides the power… But it's an exorcist's human heart that makes him deadly."

After all, what was an Innocence without their accommodator? Just a frustrated being searching for their partner.

Energy started to build around his left arm, and he braced himself, giving his all in the trusting manner that was his habit. He needed Crown Clown, and so Crown Clown would come.

He always did.

"As long as my heart is bound to the Innocence-" _As long as Crown Clown and I are together._ "-As long as my body remains intact-" _As long as I have something left to give._ "-As long as I am an exorcist-" _As long as I keep my promise._ "-As long as what I care about is in this world-"

As one, he and Crown Clown lashed out, slicing through Tyki Mikk's Noah soul but not hurting his body - and Allen was thrilled, over the moon - but the moment was gone as soon as it came, and Crown Clown's disappointment was almost his own but not quite.

"Crown Clown," Allen finished, giving Tyki a steely, stern look, "will not be broken!"

Crown Clown would never fail Allen like that. How could Allen not do the same?

But Allen wasn't finished yet. Did no one understand the relationship an Innocence had with their accommodator? It frustrated him, and that frustration poured out now.

"Tyki Mikk, you take human beings too lightly!" he admonished. "Why would an Innocence ally itself with something that was _weak?"_

For a moment, there was silence, but then Tyki started to grin, and then to laugh, loud and long and raucous. The corners of Allen's mouth twitch downward suspiciously.

 _Warning,_ Dark Boots murmured, and Allen nodded slightly.

"Now I see," Tyki said at last, breathless and amused. "If I want to kill your Innocence, I have to kill your flesh as well."

Allen frowned, and then scowled slightly. Typical. Of course that's what he got out of it.

He shouldn't have really expected him to get it.

In the next moment, though, he had other concerns, because-

He couldn't breathe. He couldn't move. He couldn't breathe!

For too long, he was caught in his own panic and despair. _I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm-_

It was his eye, his cursed eye, that pulled him out of it, activating and letting him hear the screams of the damned, so far away and hurting so much and-

_I can't die._

_I want to live… to defeat the Noah, and Tyki Mikk._

_No, that's not right. That's not why I want to live._

_I want to live… because I've found something I care about. That's right… I want to protect human beings and akuma._

And there was only one way. One way that he could keep doing that. And he _had_ to keep doing that. No matter what.

_Crown Clown! We need the strength to push back Tyki Mikk's power. We can't die here! There are too many things I still want to do._

But they weren't strong enough. Not for this.

_If my normal Innocence invocation isn't strong enough, then I'll have to increase the power._

_Crown Clown… We have to synchronize more completely! We have to become_ one!

_Crown Clown, together, you and I, we make a weapon that can save the world!_

And they would. They _would._

And then a hand plunged into his chest, wrong and frightening and cold-

_No. Concentrate. We need to synchronize._

_Crown Clown… We need to escape. We want to escape. We want to escape so that we can save… everyone._

_Crown Clown, we're going to save everyone, together._

And the feeling returned, a reverberation that he felt in his soul, a moment that turned into two that turned into more when he and Crown Clown were one soul, one being - an exorcist. Untangling his will from Crown Clown's, not his consciousness but his will, became an impossible task.

_Our left hand is for the akuma. My right is for mankind._

They grasped their wrist.

_They can both do their part. We decided it, that time. You and I are one._

They pulled, and their left arm became a sword, a weapon of redemption. A Sword of Exorcism.

_Critical point broken._

_Crown Clown, we did it._

This time, they felt the elation and the triumph and the joy together.

* * *

The joy, in the way of things, didn't last for long; soon it was swept away in a new river of worries.

Allen wasn't a nervous eater, exactly. Well, yes, he sort of was. Eating reminded him that most of the worst times of his life - the times when there was no food or warmth or compassion anywhere - were past, and Crown Clown was inclined to indulge him when it came to this.

This, and a lot of other things.

_-Please love this child/and kiss the hand/you're holding._

"It's a lullaby, isn't it, Tim?"

Tim closed his mouth, cutting off the projection, but Allen kept his head tipped back, staring at where it had been moments before.

"When I read this poem," he continued softly, "I hear it as a song in my mind."

Crown Clown reached down and squeezed his shoulder gently, expression solemn; Allen knew it without looking. He was perched on the piano behind Allen, just as worried about the new developments as the human child was.

"I feel like there's someone inside my head," Allen continued, breath hitching slightly. He took a sandwich from the bag of food he'd brought with him, but closed his mouth as soon as he'd opened it. "...I feel sick."

Tim needed no encouragement to take the sandwich, and Allen let him.

 _Reassurance, comfort, resilience,_ Crown Clown promised him, and Allen didn't acknowledge him, though he knew it was rude.

"Is this the path I've chosen?" He didn't even know if he was talking to them anymore, or just letting his thoughts spill from his mouth. "Or did someone choose it for me?" His breath hitched again. "That's not true, is it, Tim? Crown Clown?"

 _Denial._ Crown Clown's tones were firm and fierce, edged with protectiveness. It wasn't as comforting as it normally was. _Faith. Hope. Faith._

Allen tilted his head to meet Crown Clown's eyes, worry-clouded green meeting miserable silver.

There was one thing that was bugging Allen most of all.

"The symbols on the musical score," he whispered. Crown Clown's expression grew, if possible, even more sober. "They were the ones Mana and I made up long ago. I'd forgotten about them." He bit his lip. "Only Mana, you, and I could read them. They were our secret code."

Except, apparently not.

But… if it wasn't their secret code, then _what was it?_

Allen couldn't hold back the tears anymore, and he felt Crown Clown slide down and pull him close, steady and comforting, and Tim burrowed his way into his hair as Allen cried.

He was scared.


	17. Bad Pitch

_!_

Allen sat straight up, eyes going wide, and his head jerked over to where Maker of Eden was striding toward him, eyes dark and angry.

He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, and then closed it again when Lavi asked,

"Allen? What's wrong?"

"N-nothing," Allen managed, sending Crown Clown a pleading look. Crown Clown nodded seriously and strode forward to meet Maker of Eden, and Allen tried to look like he was paying attention to his friends' conversation.

Allen was with Miranda, Lavi, and Lenalee, listening contentedly, as he preferred to do. Now, though, he was casting fervent glanced at Crown Clown and Maker of Eden.

 _?_ Crown Clown asked Maker of Eden, gaze sharp and intent.

_A blond man with a harsh face, standing in front of a gathering of Generals and Branch Heads. Another blond man with a braid, stern and unforgiving. The first man yelling at Cross. Allen in the Ark in front of the piano. Suspicion, worry._

Allen felt like the breath had been knocked out of him, and even Time Record looked up, visibly worried by Maker of Eden's report. Dark Boots' head jerked up and she glared, but didn't rise. Iron Hammer, by contrast, had been listening already, but now stood up, nodded to Allen, and strode to join Crown Clown, arms crossed and expression dead serious.

"Allen?" Lenalee sounded worried, and she reached for him, grasping his arm to get his attention. It was only then that he could drag his attention to her, face pale and eyes wide. "Are your injuries acting up? Do you need to go to the infirmary?"

Allen shook his head and forced himself to smile at her. "No, it's nothing. I just remembered something, that's all. Don't worry about it." To prove how alright he was, he took a bite of his sandwich. Sadly, this didn't fool any of them, and now they were staring. _"Please_ don't worry."

His eyes darted back to the Innocences as soon as they looked away, and the Innocences, who had been politely waiting for him to be able to tune back in, continued.

_Worry?_

_The first man looking at the second man. Cross looking alarmed. Judgement looking enraged. The first man facing down Allen, who backs away with wide eyes. Worry._

_!_ Iron Hammer scowled.

Crown Clown clenched his jaw, head dipping to glare at the ground. _?_

 _Allen in the Ark,_ Maker of Eden repeated. _Suspicion._

Crown Clown took a deep breath. _?_

_The first man. Allen facing a group of faceless men, all alone. Komui freezing in visible horror. Bak objecting loudly. Disgust. Anger._

_Rage!_ Crown Clown returned, expression twisted into hatred, as if it were Maker of Eden's fault. _Fury! Protectiveness!_

 _Frustration,_ Maker of Eden snapped back. _Tiedoll visibly concerned._

 _Allen fighting at Lenalee's side,_ Dark Boots hissed, looking pretty enraged herself. _Allen reassuring Lenalee! Allen synchronizing with Crown Clown!_

 _Acknowledgement,_ Maker of Eden gritted out. _Agreement, frustration!_

Wherever that argument was going, it was interrupted. Lavi nudged Allen as Judgement stormed in, looking furious.

"Eat, beansprout. You're gonna need it to deal with whatever has you looking that bad."

Lavi had no idea how right he was.

Still, Allen ignored his food for now in favor of looking at Judgement, who went straight to him, witnesses be damned. Allen glanced at Lavi pleadingly, and Lavi studied him for a long moment before abruptly starting a loud conversation with the other two at the table.

Lavi was a good friend.

 _The blond man with the braid, walking down the hall. Warning._ Judgement stood in front of Allen, brown hair messier than usual, green eyes blazing angrily. _Cross surrounded by faceless guards, smirking as usual. Guards turning Allen away. The man with the braid in Allen's room, watching him._

Allen flinched, but this time was ignored.

 _!_ Crown Clown's expression twisted into fury. _!_

Judgement nodded, a deep scowl on his face. _Disapproval._ Then, _Cross with his confident smirk. Faith. Trust._

Allen took a deep breath and nodded, and Crown Clown did the same a moment later, much more stiffly. He'd never been as good an actor as Allen.

 _Gratitude,_ Crown Clown added after a moment, and Judgement, eyes dark and solemn and still smoldering with anger, nodded.

 _Respect, appreciation, fondness,_ Judgement returned, and Crown Clown took a deep breath and then moved to hug Allen briefly, which did more to calm the boy than almost anything else.

_Reassurance. Warning._

_Warning!_ Lau Jimin, a little twelve-year-old girl with blonde pigtails, wearing a red dress with a torn hem but no shoes, burst through the door, and Allen's head jerked up just as it opened, revealing the blond man with the braid, bearing... a pie.

The opening door had drawn the attention of the others at the table… and everyone else at the mess hall. This meant that everyone was watching as the man crossed to them, and finally stood before them, face almost comically serious, oblivious to the way all of the Innocences scowled at him with varying degrees of disapproval.

"Pleased to meet you. I'm Inspector Howard Link, assigned to your special guard detail. But as a gesture of goodwill, I baked you this pumpkin pie. I hope you like it."

In the light of everything he'd learned in the past ten minutes, the first thing this brought to Allen's mind were the myriad times he had, in the past, been poisoned by an apparently harmless bit of appealing-looking food. From Crown Clown's scowl, he was probably thinking of the same.

So it took a moment before he shoved those memories away and smiled brightly, reaching for it as if oblivious to the danger. "Pumpkin pie!"

 _Disgust,_ Lau Jimin snorted, tossing her head, arms crossed and mouth set in a scowl, bright green eyes on Link.

 _Disgust,_ Crown Clown agreed venomously.

* * *

A few weeks later, Allen had… _almost_ gotten used to Link being around.

Except he hadn't, really. Link made him uncomfortable; he reminded him of all of those people who had hated him as a child, people he would, then, have never let close to him in a million years. Never have dared to fall asleep around. He never would have even taken his eyes off him, then.

The only reason he felt safe doing those things around Link is because Crown Clown was always watching him, and he'd warn Allen if something were about to happen.

Lavi clearly felt similarly; they were sitting at a table now, in the library. Allen was filling out more paperwork, and Lavi was supposedly doing research for Bookman, but was mostly hovering over Allen instead. Iron Hammer was glaring heatedly at Link, and Crown Clown was watching the inspector like a hawk, mouth set in an unforgiving line, sitting in an unoccupied chair in a faux-casual manner.

"What do you think would happen if I set Kanda on him?" Lavi whispered to Allen, who tried not to smile.

"I think Kanda would kill him and then you," Allen replied just as quietly. "Unless he killed you first."

"You're no fun," Lavi pouted. "Alright, what if I got Link to go into a fit of disorganization-induced rage at Kanda?"

"I can hear every word you're saying," Link said coldly, without looking up.

"Damn," Lavi muttered, and Allen chuckled.

"Walker, are you doing your work?" Link asked, apparently trying very hard to ignore Lavi.

"Yes," Allen sighed, but he only filled in a few more lines before his eyes drifted again. Iron Hammer had apparently given up on glaring holes in Link's braid and was making faces at him instead, and when he caught Allen's eye, he grinned. Allen chuckled softly.

"Not the time for your psychoses, Allen," Lavi reminded him gently, face a little more solemn. Allen flinched, then winced and gave Lavi a nod of understanding.

Yes, it would be very bad if Link started becoming suspicious of Allen. Well, more suspicious. About things that were actually true.

He sighed, and Crown Clown gave Iron Hammer a pointed look. Reluctantly, Iron Hammer stopped making faces at Link, instead settling into a sulky scowl, settling back in his own chair.

"Okay, what if I just set Lenalee on him?" Lavi suggested. Allen laughed.

* * *

Waking up after the Level 4 attack was… an honest surprise.

_…_

Allen turned his head at Crown Clown's soft call and winced; everything hurt. Crown Clown's expression was solemn and regretful, kneeling beside him with one hand on Allen's. Allen knew that he'd been there the entire time Allen had been unconscious; Innocences didn't have the same need to change position humans did.

 _Apology._ So light he barely noticed, Crown Clown moved his hand to brush against Allen's wounded torso. He still winced, and Crown Clown drew away. _Apology. Crown Clown dragging Allen's unconscious body around. Apology._

Allen managed a smile for his oldest friend. "It's okay," he murmured. "You needed to. Everyone would have died if you hadn't. I don't mind."

 _Apology,_ Crown Clown repeated.

Allen smiled ruefully and tried to sit up, then collapsed back down, gasping, as pain ripped through him like a knife through butter.

 _!_ Crown Clown rose and gave him a stern look that made Allen smile weakly. _Allen sleeping on the bed. Warning, worry._

Allen chuckled painfully. "Okay," he whispered, and no sooner had he said the word than did he slip back into sleep, and Crown Clown again settled beside him to wait.


	18. Out of Sight

The night after Cross disappeared, Allen was curled up in his room, forehead pressed to his knees and arms wrapped around his legs. Crown Clown sat beside him, and Judgement in a chair across from the bed, arms crossed and scowling at the ground.

_Confusion. Frustration._

"I don't understand," Allen admitted quietly. "How could anything prevent you from remembering?"

Judgement jerked his head aside, nose wrinkled and scowl deepening. _Dismay. Restlessness. Turmoil._

 _Agitation,_ Crown Clown added, arm tightening around Allen, pulling him closer in a protective grip. _Worry._

_Gloom._

At Judgement's admission, Allen looked up at him and forced a faint, reassuring smile. "I think he's alright, though. You said you could still feel him, right?"

Judgement scowled, uncrossed and recrossed his arms, and shrugged. _Ambivalence. Frustration. A hand just out of reach._

Allen's frown deepened. So he could almost feel him… but not quite. He hid a shiver and looked down again. "Maybe not alright," he said softly. "But he's alive."

Judgement sighed and nodded. _Confirmation. Anxiety._

Allen's mind turned elsewhere; it had been more inclined to do that lately. "He said all those things to me, just before…" He trailed off, and then picked up again. Crown Clown turned his head to frown at him. "Do you think he knew?"

Judgement shrugged. Crown Clown didn't answer, either, but he squeezed Allen lightly, clearly trying to reassure him. Allen bit his lip.

"He knows a lot of things he didn't tell me," Allen said softly.

 _Reassurance,_ Judgement asserted forcefully. _Certainty. Faith._

Allen scowled lightly. "I know. I know he has his reasons. It's just sometimes…" _It would be nice to know something for sure._ "...Never mind."

Judgement's gaze softened slightly. _Reassurance,_ he repeated.

 _Reassurance,_ Crown Clown added, and Allen leaned into him, closing his eyes. _Encouragement._

Allen's breath hitched slightly. "What he said about Mana…" Allen barely reacted as Judgement stood up abruptly and swept from the room, and Crown Clown might not have even noticed; all of his attention was focused on Allen. "What he said…" Allen took a deep shuddering breath; he hadn't been able to bring himself to think about it too closely, until now. "Crown Clown… You love me, don't you?"

 _Alarm!_ Crown Clown pulled him closer, and Allen felt his head settle into the crook of Crown Clown's neck, arms firmer around him, as the Innocence knelt in front of him, one hand cradling the back of his head. _Assurance, desperation, tenderness, compassion, affection, trust, faith, love. Love._ And then, softer, _Dismay, worry, pride, fulfillment, happiness._

Allen shuddered, a lump rising in his throat and tears to his eyes. "Thank you," he whispered.

 _Assurance,_ Crown Clown repeated. _Comfort._

Allen reached forward and hugged Crown Clown back with a desperation he would admit to no one but his Innocence, and Crown Clown uttered, almost too soft to notice,

_Frustration._

Silently, for the second time in as many months, Allen cried.

* * *

All of the Innocences reacted to the news that Allen was host to the Fourteenth's memory in different ways.

Crown Clown was furious, so angry he'd been shaking. Not at Allen, but at Cross, who hadn't said anything, at Judgement, for the same crime, and at the world, for failing Allen once again.

Judgement had of course known all along, and not a bit of his behavior changed, except maybe a little more pity in his eyes when he looked at Allen now.

Mugen was stony; he'd lost a lot of people before, and losing one more wasn't anything new, but it never got any easier, he told Allen. But he was blunt, and firm, and his trust in Allen never wavered.

Dark Boots was almost as angry as Crown Clown. She and Judgement had gotten into a fight about it, and she wouldn't look Allen in the eyes anymore. But she looked at him when he wasn't looking back, and she was worried.

Iron Hammer had been with Lavi when Allen and Cross had first spoken, and it had brought out the rarely-exposed serious side to him, with gritted teeth and a silent, still demeanor. Then his cheer had returned full force, with a stiff, anxious quality it hadn't had before.

Time Record, who he'd never been as close to, now stuck close to Miranda more often than to him. Bloody Krory ignored him entirely. Noel Organon would give him unreadable looks, Heaven Compass clearly pitied him as well, Lau Jimin was jittery and angry but no more so than usual-

Allen didn't like it.

* * *

When Timothy returned to his body and Allen regained consciousness, he looked around, startled.

Link stood by Allen as always, looking fiercely disapproving of everything. There was a nun by the door, and the Prioress was on one of the couches with Emilia, and Kanda and Marie were on the other.

There was Crown Clown, standing over both of them with a disapproving scowl. Noel Organon was cross-legged on the ground, with his back to the wall, studying both of them intently. Mugen hung back, frowning at Timothy…

A a fourth man, with the same green eyes, looking a little like an older version of Timothy, was seated by the younger boy, solemn-faced.

As the explanation drew to its end, Timothy reacted to the news of his fate… About as well as could be expected.

"No!" he screamed, straining against his bonds; Allen was hard-pressed to keep them in place. "You can't make me! You're just like my dad! You think you own me!" He snarled furiously. "You _don't!_ I'm gonna stay here! Even if it kills me!"

 _Resignation._ The new Innocence, which must be Timothy's, sighed, and then smiled wearily and reached out to pat his head. _Reassurance._

Timothy, to Allen's surprise, stopped and sniffled, gritting his teeth. "You can't make me," he repeated, but he sounded a lot less certain now.

Crown Clown moved over and bent down in front of Timothy, impassive green eyes examining him, and Timothy- Stared back.

The breath whooshed out of Allen's lungs, his eyes widening.

Timothy could see the Innocences.

"You're coming with us if I have to make you," Kanda snapped crabbily. Timothy wasn't paying attention anymore.

"Who are you?" Timothy demanded grumpily, scowling at Crown Clown. Crown Clown tilted his head.

_At the top of a mountain, with a crown on his head, mask on his eyes, his face painted white and eyes bold. Defiance in the face of disapproval. Laughter at death._

Timothy's eyes widened, too, and while most of the room was frowning at him in confusion, he whispered, "Oh shit…"

"Timothy, can you _please_ pay attention?" Emilia asked, clearly exasperated, and her face lined with worry. Then, to Kanda, "Look, he's just a little boy. You _can't_ take him."

_"Watch me."_

Crown Clown looked as interested as any of the Innocences who had first discovered that Allen could see them, and he sat back on his heels, gazing thoughtfully at Timothy. _Interest. Curiosity._

 _Derision!_ Mugen snorted, shaking his head at Crown Clown. _Dismissal._ He jerked his head at the door, eyes narrowing. _Wariness._

 _?_ Noel Organon perked up, frowning at them, and then considered and nodded firmly. _Caution._

 _Alarm!_ Timothy's Innocence leaned forward, looking at Timothy seriously. Timothy's eyes darted from Innocence to Innocence, getting wider all the time, and Allen's face creased with worry.

"Great, there's two of them," Kanda complained; apparently he'd noticed their preoccupation. Allen tried not to flinch; he didn't want anyone to know about what he could do, except…

Except, if Timothy could too…

"Two of them?" Emilia questioned, frowning. "What do you mean?"

"The stupid beansprout likes to stare off into space too," Kanda explained carelessly. Allen felt Timothy twist to look at him with wide eyes. "Just like G over there."

"They're looking at the same places," Link said suddenly, and the room grew quiet. Allen flinched.

"What do you mean by that?" questioned the Prioress. "Timothy has an active imagination, it's true, but…"

 _!_ Crown Clown looked up sharply, and Mugen scowled.

_Frustration. Irritation._

Timothy squirmed, and Allen looked down at him, face pale. Timothy was staring back up at him, clearly startled, and maybe a little hopeful, too.

"Can you see them, too?" he asked in a whisper, which was nonetheless heard by everyone.

Allen felt cold settle in his chest, but then he took a deep breath and made an impulsive choice, feeling Link's gaze boring into the side of his head.

_Forge my own path, indeed._

"Yes," he said softly. "The one by you - you've seen him since you swallowed that jewel, right?"

Timothy nodded slowly.

"He's your Innocence; it means we're right, you _are_ an accommodator. The one in front of you, that's Crown Clown, he's my Innocence. And then that's Mugen, Kanda's Innocence, over there, and Noel Organon, Marie's." Allen's silver eyes were soft and solemn, and he was hyperaware of the others' gazes on him as his gaze flicked to each Innocence in turn, while they nodded to Timothy with varying degrees of interest and concern.

"I thought I might be crazy," Timothy admitted in a small voice.

Allen smiled. "That's okay. I did, too, I just didn't care." After all, by the time he'd understood it wasn't normal, he'd had Mana, who wasn't too sane himself.

"Beansprout, what the _fuck?"_

Kanda's voice was rough, and maybe a little uneasy, too. Allen would have answered, but that was about when the world outside went black.


	19. Second Thought

Once they realized that they’d have to wait for the Science Department to get them out, the people still conscious settled around by the door. One by one, the exorcists deactivated their Innocence.

Tsukikami sat down beside Timothy with a short nod to Allen, and Timothy ignored him, frowning at the ground. Mugen started pacing angrily, shooting Allen periodic frowns that made Allen look away. Noel Organon ignored everything except Marie, clearly worried by his bleeding finger-stumps.

Allen took a deep breath, and deactivated Crown Clown.

Instantly, Crown Clown was in front of him, eyes wide with panic, reaching for him. Allen kept his gaze carefully averted as Crown Clown examined the still-throbbing wound with his fingers, touch painfully gentle and light as a feather.

_ Remorse, guilt, contrition, apology,  _ Crown Clown murmured frantically, unable to meet Allen’s eyes.  _ Worry, distress, shame, reassurance, reassurance. _

“It’s okay,” Allen heard himself say, gaze skittering away from Crown Clown. “I’m okay.”

And he was - his chest still hurt, but he wasn’t bleeding at all. It was just a distant echo of what he’d felt when-

It wasn’t exactly that he’d forgotten that he was a Noah. Not exactly. But…

It had never even occurred to him that Crown Clown would hurt him.

_ Anguish!  _ Crown Clown looked almost ready to cry, fingers brushing over the already-scarred wound.  _ Worry, worry, misery. Remorse. _

“Walker,” Link said at last, sounding tired but determined. “We still need to address the matter of what was discussed before the akuma interrupted.”

Allen swallowed, and his eyes flicked again to avoid Crown Clown on their way to Link. “Uh…”

“That Clown guy is freaking out all over him,” Timothy muttered, curled up in a little ball himself, looking tired and a little grumpy. He looked a little uneasy, too, glancing over at Allen and Crown Clown every so often. “Can’t it wait?”

“That clown guy,” Kanda repeated, doubt and a little bit of incredulity coloring his voice. “That only you two can see, touch, or hear.”

“Yeah, that one,” Timothy agreed with a tired, but still mischievous grin. A matching smile flashed across Tsukikami’s face, and he gently cuffed Timothy over the head.

_ Reprimand. Amusement. _

“Yeah, yeah,” Timothy muttered. “It was a stupid question.”

“Okay,” Kanda said, with the same tone. He crossed his arms, scowling slightly. “If beansprout’s Innocence has a personality, and it  _ doesn’t  _ hate him, why would it hurt him like it did?”

Crown Clown froze, and then jerked away from Allen like he’d been burned.  _ Anguish!  _ Then he moved to slump beside Allen, face in his hands and fingers half-tangling in his hair.  _ Remorse. Shame. Misery. _

“Shut up, you’re gonna make him cry,” Timothy told him, scowling with righteous disapproval that was almost comical. Kanda’s face twisted in indignation, and Allen took a moment to direct his ire off Timothy.

“Your sword would hurt you, too, if you stabbed yourself with it,” Allen added. Mugen gave him a deeply disapproving look.

_ Ire. Kanda handling Mugen expertly. Dismissal. _

“I know he wouldn’t,” Allen muttered. “I’m just saying,  _ if he did-” _

“Walker,” Link said loudly, irritation coating his tone. “I swear, if you continue to  _ refuse  _ to explain-”

“I’ll explain, I’ll explain,” Allen said hastily. He was still in the same position, looking anywhere but at his Innocence, and he seized almost gratefully on the distraction. “I have one question first, though.” He looked at Timothy, who frowned back at him. “Timothy, when did you first start seeing Tsukikami?”

“Uh.” Timothy took the question at face value and thought for a moment, and then tapped his forehead. “A little bit after I first got this on my forehead, I guess.”

Allen nodded thoughtfully, and then said, “I’ve always been able to see Crown Clown.”

Kanda made an impatient noise. Marie looked interested, listening carefully even as he cradled his bleeding hand in the other. Noel Organon scowled and shifted in response, then cast Allen a frown.

_ Disapproval. Marie holding still. _

“Marie, Noel Organon wants you to stop moving,” Allen added, with a small, rueful smile. A startled look crossed Marie’s face, but then he nodded seriously and refrained from shifting again. Allen continued. “Most humans can’t see Innocence’s human forms. When I was little, I had no idea why no one else could see Crown Clown, and I didn’t really care, either, then.”

Link was frowning intently, clearly analyzing and memorizing every word to write down later. Allen tried not to wince.

“I didn’t realize what, exactly, I was seeing until I met Master, and he figured it out when I called Judgement by name in front of him, before he’d even mentioned that Innocence existed.” Allen grimaced; he’d come close to repeating that mistake a few times. He was still pretty sure most people didn’t know that Lavi’s Innocence was really called Iron Hammer.

“But why  _ you?”  _ Link pushed, leaning forward slightly, arms folded in a falsely innocent gesture.

Allen shrugged. “Well, we don’t know for sure, but Iron Hammer had a theory.” Most of them started slightly in surprise. “You see, Crown Clown fused with me before I was born.”

“Impossible,” Kanda said sharply, voice cutting across Allen’s monologue. “An Innocence wouldn’t fuse with an unborn baby.”

“Well, some of them wouldn’t,” Allen admitted. “I can’t see Mugen doing it, or Judgement. But I think Dark Boots might, and… Tsukikami?” Tsukikami considered for a moment, and then gave a noncommittal shrug. “And Crown Clown, of course.”

For the first time since deactivating, Allen stole a glance at the Innocence beside him, and his brow crinkled with worry; Crown Clown hadn’t moved since he’d stopped fretting over Allen, still bent double with self-recrimination.

“Anyway,” Allen said haltingly, gaze lingering on Crown Clown, “Iron Hammer suggested that Crown Clown’s presence altered my brain development, and that’s why I can see Innocence.” He broke his gaze to look at Timothy. “I’m no expert, but if I had to guess, I’d say that _you_ can see them because Tsukikami is so close to your brain.”

“Oh,” Timothy frowned. And then, “Why’s the Clown guy so upset?”

“The idiot stabbed himself with his own sword,” Kanda explained before Allen could, his tone making it clear what he thought of that course of action. “If his Innocence really  _ does  _ like him, that’s probably why.”

Timothy gave Kanda a wide-eyed look, and then he turned and gave Allen the same wide-eyed look. Allen winced.

Link was still studying Allen as if he were a puzzle to be solved. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner than this?”

Allen cast his gaze to the ground and shrugged. “Master thought it was a bad idea,” he said quietly. “Besides, I wasn’t sure anyone would believe me.”

“I believe you,” Marie said suddenly. Allen looked up, startled.

“Huh? Really?”

“The Innocence,” Marie explained. “It makes a certain sound, like a song, the same way an akuma does. It’s always the same, except around you. I’d wondered.”

Allen stared at him for a few moments, and then smiled. “Thanks, Marie.”

Link huffed, looked away, and muttered, “I’ll be reporting this to Central.”

Allen felt his heart sink, but he nodded. “Of course.”

Kanda stared at him for a few more long moments, unreadable, and then, finally, huffed, scowled, and leaned back in place, looking away. “Whatever,” he muttered.

Allen smiled slightly, and then let it flick away as he shifted his attention to Crown Clown.

The startled sting of betrayal had faded, and now he was more worried for his Innocence than anything, and maybe a little embarrassed at his own stupidity.

“You know it isn’t your fault, right?” Allen asked, keeping his voice soft. “I should have expected that; I was being stupid.”

Crown Clown shook his head once, jerkily, without looking up.

“Really,” Allen insisted. “You couldn’t have done anything. And now I know to be careful.” He smiled, a slightly pained smile that was nonetheless meant to be reassuring. “I’ll be fine by the end of the week. I’m not even bleeding.”

Crown Clown finally looked up to give him a hard look.  _ Allen screaming. _

“It did hurt,” Allen admitted reluctantly. “But it doesn’t matter.”

_ Disagreement!  _ Crown Clown snapped.  _ Bitterness, self-recrimination, shame. _

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Kanda muttered. Then, loudly, “Hey, Innocence! In case you didn’t notice, the beansprout does idiotic shit all the damn time! He was going to get himself hurt with or without your help!”

Allen jerked his head up to scowl at Kanda, and he opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off.

_ Surprise.  _ Crown Clown had sat up to look at Kanda, green eyes wide, and then a soft, reluctant smile curled his lips.  _ Amusement. _

“Yes, very funny,” Allen muttered, but he relaxed.

They were going to be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ect0gh0st on Imgur drew Crown Clown! Look here: http://imgur.com/Nw63njt


	20. Fourth Interlude: The Girl Who Hated God

_A green flash in the darkness.  
_ _Black against the snow. Dark silhouette against the sun.  
_ _Flying through the air to smash against the enemy._

When she was a little girl, Lenalee Lee hardly ever wore shoes.

The Lee family, consisting of a hardworking father, a stern mother, and five children of varying ages, lived in a remote village that mostly grew rice. Their father - Dark Boots never bothered to learn his name, nor, indeed, the names of most of the family members - worked hard to allow his oldest to study science, as he wanted to. The mother, on the other hand, ruled the house with a firm hand but not an iron fist.

The Lees had, as stated, five children. Komui, the oldest, was twenty. There was a set of twin girls, both fourteen. A boy, eight, just two years older than the youngest.

It was the youngest, however, that Dark Boots was interested in. She was brought into the household as a tattered pair of children’s shoes when Lenalee was four years old, and the first thing she noticed about the Lees’ youngest child was her stubbornness.

Little Lenalee Lee refused to wear shoes. She wouldn’t stay inside. She got her clothes muddy all the time. She was loud and bold and cheerful, and almost always, she was fighting with her mother.

Dark Boots could admire that sort of bullheaded determination, and she kept her eye on the littlest girl over the next two years.

Then, early in the morning on a cold, foggy spring day, the akuma came.

The father was outside, already working; he collapsed into dust within a few minutes. The youngest boy was beside him, already helping out, and he was next.

The oldest heard the screams and looked out to see what had happened, and he narrowly avoided the same fate by ducking back in.

In the next few minutes, Dark Boots watched Lenalee more closely than she ever had before. The little girl was terrified and shaking, asking desperately after her father, and Dark Boots felt a twinge of weary pity. Like so many before her, Lenalee would never see her father again.

She kept her watch on the little girl as the akuma crashed through the wall, ending all hopes of escape. The twins cowered in one corner, the surviving male backed into another, and the mother covered Lenalee in a third, pale and shaking but stubborn in her own way.

Lenalee’s face, streaked with tears, was angry and defiant as well as terrified.

The twins died quietly. Dark Boots reached out to Lenalee, gingerly testing their synchronization. Through the resulting resonations, Dark Boots felt Lenalee’s horror, her fear, and her anger war with each other. The brother cried out, and the mother cried silent, furious tears. Dark Boots waited.

The akuma turned on the mother, whose dust coated Lenalee like so much volcanic ash. Outwardly, Lenalee froze, but her heart was a mess.

_No. No. No! Mommy! Mommy, come back!_

Dark Boots sighed and started to draw back, deciding that no, Lenalee was just another six-year-old girl. Then the tone of Lenalee’s emotions changed.

_Give them back, monster! Give my family BACK!_

Dark Boots’ interest was rekindled, and she waited. The akuma’s guns turned on the oldest sibling, who swallowed and braced himself, shutting his eyes tight.

Lenalee snapped.

 _“Not my brother!”_ she screamed aloud, and, with bare feet, she ran forward through the smashed china and splintered wood and then leapt at the akuma, tears running down her face and a fearsome glare in her eyes.

Dark Boots reached, and she felt Lenalee reach back.

_Synchronization._

_Innocence, activate._

Dark Boots’ accommodator was a strong girl; she always had been. That was why Dark Boots chose her.

Nothing made the Innocence more furious than watching the Order tear that down, and nothing made her more proud than watching her persist anyway.

When she was little and learning, Lenalee used to stay up at night and cry. Though her accommodator could not see her, she would sit beside her and wait the tears out, offering soothing placations that the human girl could not hear.

Dark Boots had never taken a little girl before. Most often, her accommodators were grown women, stubborn and weathered to the cruelties of the world. Occasionally, they were more innocent, determined idealists who were so sure they could help. Once, she’d taken an old woman who ended up defending her young grandson to her last breath, wandering the Indian countryside in search of akuma.

Little girls, it developed, were very different. For one thing, they adjusted to the lifestyle far quicker. They learned admirably rapidly. They noticed things adults often overlooked.

They were also sensitive, and fearful, and fragile, and they were _much_ more susceptible to the manipulations of others.

Dark Boots hadn’t meant to become so protective of her young accommodator. She never had been before; she was a very goal-oriented Innocence, and while she was fond, even possessive, of them, they were a means to an end.

But Lenalee was a stubborn little girl who never liked to wear shoes, and the Order had _no right_ to treat her as anything less than human, much less to make her believe it was right.

Dark Boots could do little but watch as bold Lenalee grew quieter and quieter and more and more submissive. Her determination never wavered, but with nowhere to direct it, she turned it on herself.

The first time Dark Boots saved Lenalee’s life was when she was six years old and threw herself, unarmed, at an akuma.

The second time, she was nine years old and threw herself off a cliff.

Dark Boots hated actively suicidal accommodators.

In the aftermath of Lenalee’s suicide attempt, when it was just her and her accommodator, alone in a room, Dark Boots learned how much Lenalee hated her.

She closed her eyes and listened to every word she said. Dark Boots had never had an accommodator  _ hate  _ her before - resent her, sometimes, but never  _ hate  _ her it. It hurt, to hear this little girl curse her name with tears in her eyes and a hitch in her breath.

She’d never wanted to cause Lenalee pain.

After Komui joined the Order - something Dark Boots never would have expected of the goofy, academic eldest - she got better. She was never again that bright, rebellious child, but she got better. Dark Boots surprised herself with how relieved she was.

Dark Boots was proud to say that she herself was as stubborn as the accommodators she took. Lenalee was a good girl and an amazing exorcist, and one of the best accommodators Dark Boots had ever taken. But she was in a bad place, and Dark Boots did something she’d never done before, and done everything in her (frustratingly limited) power to make Lenalee happy and to keep her from self-destructing as she so clearly was trying to do.

She was glad that Lenalee loved to fly so much.

Her dedication to her friends was one of the things Dark Boots most admired about her, and as time went on, that was the main thing that drove their synchronization up. Dark Boots encouraged it; it gave Lenalee a reason to live.

The third time Dark Boots saved her accommodator’s life, she was fighting for her friends in the middle of the ocean.

Dark Boots had never been prouder than in the aftermath of their first Level Three fight, even if it had left both of them desynchronized and limping. Even in the face of helplessness, Lenalee never gave up. (If she could have done it in a less self-destructive manner, though, Dark Boots would have been much happier.)

That extended onward all the way to the Level Four, when Lenalee apparently grew too impatient with their slow recovery and attempted to have Hevlaska implant Dark Boots into her.

Dark Boots would have taken her back in a moment, of course - she wouldn’t dream of hurting the accommodator she’d stayed with from childhood - but it wasn’t necessary. There was another way.

The fourth time Dark Boots saved her life, she’d once again thrown herself into a fight unarmed.

When Lenalee tried to kill herself a fifth time, Dark Boots would be ready. She wouldn’t let Lenalee’s determination to save her friends be the end of her.

Not while she could help it, anyway.


	21. Tense Talk

They were not going to be alright.

No sooner had they returned to Headquarters than did the group split into pieces. Kanda herded those who needed it to the infirmary, Timothy was escorted to Komui's office, and Link dragged Allen to another room altogether.

Lavi caught them on their way there, looking worried and almost unnoticeably suspicious of Link. "Hey, Allen, you're back!" he greeted, as though Allen wasn't being held by one arm. "What's up?"

Allen blinked at him, faintly startled and hesitant, and Iron Hammer, lightly jogging to keep up, tilted his head and frowned at him. _Concern._

Crown Clown, glaring at Link bitterly, answered for Allen. _Allen speaking to Crown Clown. Link watching. Frustration, worry._

Iron Hammer's eyes widened. _Alarm!_

"Beansprout?" Lavi pushed.

"Walker has a few things to explain," Link said tightly, when Allen made no move to answer Lavi's query.

Lavi's eyes widened, too, and then his expression turned serious, and he reached up to pull his scarf down. "Oh. Should I get the old man for this, two-spot?"

Link half-turned around, took in Lavi's suddenly changed demeanor, and nodded. "Yes, that would probably be for the best, Bookman Junior."

Lavi nodded, shot Allen a reassuring grin, and then ran off. Iron Hammer lingered behind, a deep furrow in his brow, but when Allen caught his eye, he, too, gave him a reassuring grin and a wink.

Link took Allen to Leverrier's temporary office, where the man was working on some form of paperwork. It was abrupt and the man looked up sharply, obviously irritated, which made Allen's chest twinge with apprehension.

"Link? What is the meaning of this?" Leverrier demanded, voice low with warning.

"Sir," Link started, standing up straight and releasing Allen's arm. Allen lingered, gaze falling uncomfortably to the ground. Crown Clown, beside him, swept forward to glower challengingly at Leverrier, fists clenched at his sides. "A discovery has been made and I thought it best to report in immediately. I apologize for appearing without warning."

_Helplessness, frustration._

Iron Hammer strode forward to clap Crown Clown on the shoulder and smile at him. _Reassurance! Confidence._

 _Uncertainty._ Crown Clown took a deep breath and straightened. _Determination._

 _Determination,_ Iron Hammer agreed.

Leverrier looked suddenly interested. "What is it, Inspector?"

 _Scorn._ Crown Clown glowered at Leverrier.

"Allen Walker has demonstrated the ability to see a manifested, humanoid form of Innocence," Link announced. Leverrier's eyes narrowed. "This is corroborated by Timothy Hearst, who demonstrated the same ability."

Leverrier laced his fingers together and was silent for a long moment. "I see. Tell me-"

He was interrupted when the door opened, and Lavi and Bookman both slid in almost soundlessly. They moved to stand on either side of the door, and Bookman gave Leverrier a curt nod.

The corners of Leverrier's mouth turned downward in disapproval, but he continued. "Tell me, Allen Walker, if this is true, why did you not say anything sooner?"

Allen shifted uncomfortably, but met his eyes regardless, back rigid. "I'd become used to keeping quiet about it," he said at last. "The Innocences didn't seem to mind-" Lavi inhaled sharply. Iron Hammer gave Allen an absent wink and a thumbs-up. "-and my friends seemed content to think I was insane." He offered a tight smile; he'd never minded it, but it was none of Leverrier's business.

"And you didn't think this was relevant to the investigation?" Leverrier asked, voice all smooth silk.

Allen's jaw tightened and his eyes turned from silver to steel. "No, _sir."_

Link stiffened, disapproval flashing through his eyes at Allen's tone, but he didn't say anything. Leverrier prompted Allen, poorly concealed anger growing in his eyes,

"Are there any in this room right now?"

"Yes," Allen said, mirroring his tone, gaze never wavering from Leverrier's. "Crown Clown is in front of me and a little to my left. Iron Hammer is beside him. Heaven Compass is-" He blew out a breath and glanced over his shoulder. "-standing to Bookman's right."

Lavi's eyes were narrow, studying Allen intently, and Allen looked away uncomfortably.

"Tell them to leave," Leverrier ordered, standing from his desk and strolling around it to stand in front of Allen, looming over him.

Allen tilted his head back and allowed his gaze to focus into a glower. "They don't take orders from me," he said coolly. He wondered why so many people seemed to believe that he was easily intimidated.

He had seen much worse than Leverrier in his limited years.

Crown Clown, though, still smarting from the incident earlier, took great offense at this, coming closer to Allen and standing just in front of him and barely to the side, baring his teeth angrily at Leverrier, who remained, of course, oblivious. _Warning!_

Leverrier let slip a smile that showed a hint of teeth. "If they don't take orders from you, what about their accommodators?"

"They are older than any being you can imagine," Allen said quietly, allowing the steel in his eyes to thread through his voice, silently matching Leverrier's challenge threat for threat. "They take orders from no one. Accommodators are comrades, nothing more."

"Comrades, hm? If they don't take orders…" Leverrier allowed his posture to become slightly more menacing. "Then do they respond to threats to their 'comrades'?"

Iron Hammer straightened up and gave Leverrier a fearsome scowl of his own, crossing the room to stand by Lavi, arms crossed in front of his chest and an uncompromising glare on his face. _Disapproval. Anger._

Allen didn't even flinch. Instead, a cold, unkind smile tilted the corners of his mouth upward. "Do you really think," he said quietly, "that Innocences would choose _anyone_ so easily broken? They know better than anyone what happens to exorcists. They don't take anyone unless they know they're strong enough."

Leverrier went from threatening to very, very interested, while Link, who had thus far remained silent but progressively more uncomfortable, let a small frown crease his brow - probably, if Allen was any judge, wondering what about him had caused him to be deemed 'not strong enough'.

"Does this mean they can tell you why they chose who they did?" he inquired, suddenly half as menacing but twice as intense. Allen tilted his head slightly and frowned at him.

"Of course."

"Tell me," Leverrier ordered. Allen shifted backward, the lack of challenge making him revert most of the way back to discomfort.

"It varies from Innocence to Innocence," he said, frowning. Leverrier waited. Allen let out a short, frustrated huff. "Dark Boots likes Lenalee's stubbornness. Time Record trusts Miranda to keep going even when she believes it's useless. Bloody Krory approves of Krory's ruthlessness in defending his friends."

When he made no move to continue, Leverrier pushed, "And yours?"

Allen ducked his head and then glanced inquisitively at Crown Clown; he didn't actually know the answer to this one. He'd never asked.

Crown Clown glared at Leverrier for a moment longer, but then he sighed and looked at Allen, eyes dim, but with a small, tired smile on his face. _Allen staring at an akuma soul. Pride and fondness. Allen saving a young human girl._ And then, _Allen struggling to rise. Young Allen standing against Cosimo with his teeth bared. Digging through a trash can for food._

Allen swallowed and glanced away, almost embarrassed to have heard that. When Leverrier cleared his throat impatiently, he gritted his teeth, but answered, "He knew that I had the capacity to care for both human and akuma, like he does, and he knew that I had the will to live through anything, no matter how difficult."

Leverrier 'hm'ed, and Allen thought that it sounded a lot more menacing than it ought to. "And why would they _not_ synchronize with, say, Inspector Link?"

Link glanced at Allen, and Allen could tell that he wanted to know that too, which was all that made Allen bite back his budding sneer; he knew that it would have benefitted Leverrier immensely if even one of his CROW had been deemed acceptable by an Innocence.

Instead, Allen sighed. This was frustrating, all of it. He'd wanted to keep this a secret, and the revelation was every bit as stressful as he'd expected it to be - worse, it was far from over. Also, Leverrier was an ass, and his new scar still ached horribly.

He looked at Crown Clown. "Why not Link?" he asked simply, knowing that Crown Clown could hear the tiredness in his voice.

Sure enough, Crown Clown's eyes softened, and he placed a comforting hand on Allen's shoulder even as he answered; Allen knew that Crown Clown hated this at least as much as he did. _Link refusing to let Allen open the Ark gate. Link protecting Timothy. Frustration, disgust._

"He says that Link is too willing to compromise his own morals," he told Leverrier, and Link almost deflated while Leverrier's eyes narrowed.

"And if that changed?"

Allen looked at Crown Clown, who shrugged. _Allen wielding Crown Clown. Affection._ A small smile curled the Innocence's lips, and Allen smiled back.

"He won't let me go," Allen replied, confidence filtering into his voice. Leverrier raised one eyebrow.

"Even to get an accommodator who is not a Noah?"

Crown Clown's head shot up and a snarl crossed his mouth, fists clenching. _Defensiveness, protectiveness, rage!_

"You're very lucky he can't hit you," Allen told Leverrier, who took a startled step back, gaze sweeping the room as if he could suddenly see Crown Clown. He quickly regained himself, though, and narrowed his eyes at Allen.

"Was that a threat, Mr. Walker?"

Allen shrugged. "I don't know, was it?" He knew he was treading on thin ice, but, well. Leverrier was never his favorite person.

Iron Hammer decided to interrupt, striding forward. He stuck his tongue out at Leverrier - _Scorn_ \- and told Allen, _Link taking orders from Leverrier. Dismissal._ Then, with a tight smile, _Caution, reassurance._

Allen took the opportunity for what it was and cut off whatever Leverrier's reply would have been with, "Iron Hammer says that Link isn't independent enough for him."

Leverrier's mouth twisted slightly. "It took the _Bookman's apprentice,"_ he pointed out, voice tainted with derision and doubt.

Iron Hammer gave Leverrier a cold smile of his own. _Faith._

"Iron Hammer has faith in Lavi," Allen shrugged, carefully not looking at either of the Bookmen.

"I see," Leverrier murmured. For an unnervingly long moment, he was quiet, and then he looked at Link. "Link, you have some additional orders."

Link straightened. "Sir?"

"Monitor Allen Walker's activities with the Innocences. Record all conversations he has with them." He met Allen's eyes with a cold smirk. "Allen Walker is not to converse with any Innocences unless he provides translations."

Allen's glare returned, and Crown Clown wrapped one hand around his upper arm, matching it with twice the vehemence.

"Yes, sir," Link acknowledged, still subdued.


	22. Medium

The walk to the cafeteria was quiet. Link was in a contemplative silence (though Allen knew better than to think his attention was truly wandering) and Allen didn't really feel like speaking, which Crown Clown accepted, walking a few feet behind to keep his eyes on both of them at once.

Iron Hammer was with them as well, watching all of them with a small frown. He was the first to look up at the sound of rapid footsteps, followed by Link.

A moment later, Lenalee appeared from around the corner, hair flying and eyes wide and startled. Dark Boots followed behind at a more sedate pace, frowning.

 _Frustration,_ she called out as soon as she saw them, a small scowl on her face. _?_

Allen was a little confused, but Lenalee filled in the blanks for him by bursting out, "Allen! Kanda came in and told us- is it true, can you really…?"

Allen's brow furrowed for a moment as he tried to figure out what she meant, but then he smiled slightly, tired and rueful. "Can I see Innocence?"

Stopping in front of them with uncharacteristic uncertainty, Lenalee nodded.

"Yeah, I can," Allen admitted, reaching up to scratch the back of his head sheepishly. "But can we talk about this somewhere else? I'm kind of hungry." And tired.

Lenalee nodded, blushing slightly. "Oh, of course. You just got back from a mission."

 _Disapproval._ Crown Clown gave Allen a frown. _Allen rubbing at his chest, regret, worry._

"Yes, I'll go rest afterward," Allen assured the Innocence.

"Walker," Link said sternly. "Remember what you were told."

Allen sighed. Dark Boots gave Link a sharp look and then looked at Allen. _?_

"I'm supposed to tell him what you say," Allen explained to Dark Boots, and Lenalee followed his gaze with wide eyes. Then, to Link, "Crown Clown is worried about me and says I shouldn't be moving around, and Dark Boots wanted to know what you meant."

"Oh," Lenalee breathed, realization dancing behind her eyes. Allen avoided her gaze, looking back to the front.

"Exact words, please," Link interrupted, starting to regain his brisk demeanor.

Allen blinked in confusion, and then he laughed. "They don't speak in words, Link. Why would they? It's not like they're human."

Link frowned at him and so did Lenalee, with equal amounts of confusion.

"Then how do you know what they're saying?" Link inquired, frowning.

Allen shrugged, embarrassed. "I'm kind of approximating. They communicate with each other, and with me and Timothy, with emotions and images, mostly. I learned to understand them when I was a kid, but you probably wouldn't pick up most of it."

 _Pride._ Crown Clown smiled at Allen. Allen ducked his head with a smile.

_"Walker."_

At the same time, both Crown Clown's and Allen's smiles vanished, and Allen looked away. Lenalee tilted her head, worried.

"Allen?"

Allen shrugged uncomfortably. "Crown Clown said he's proud," he said at last, a little bit of color in his cheeks.

Lenalee smiled, though. "That's good. He should be."

 _Agreement, happiness._ Crown Clown flashed Lenalee a smile and then nodded at Allen. _Affirmation._

Dark Boots rolled her eyes. _Exasperation. Reluctance, agreement._

Iron Hammer grinned at Dark Boots. _Lenalee in flight, Dark Boots smiling._

Dark Boots glowered at him but, reluctantly, agreed, _Lenalee facing an akuma, pride._

Allen smiled. Without prompting this time, he told the two humans, "Crown Clown agrees with you and is happy you agree. Dark Boots thinks that Crown Clown is overaffectionate but she agrees. Then Iron Hammer pointed out that Dark Boots is often proud of you, too, and Dark Boots admitted it."

Lenalee blinked in surprise, and then she smiled shyly, a small blush coloring her cheeks. "Thank you, Dark Boots," she said quietly, not looking around for the Innocence she knew she wouldn't see. "I'm glad I'm good enough."

Dark Boots blinked, and then she smiled, soft and fond. _Affirmation, pride._

"Of course you're good enough," Allen told Lenalee, smiling. "Dark Boots wouldn't be with you otherwise."

Lenalee flushed, but she nodded, looking pleased.

They reached the cafeteria. By what Allen suspected was no genuine coincidence, several of the exorcists were gathered at their usual table - Marie, Miranda, Krory, and Timothy were all there, though Timothy looked bored.

Allen sighed, braced himself, and went to get food first.

By the time he got to the table, Lavi was there, too, with his bandana back in place and smiling casually. Timothy waved at him and Crown Clown, and Crown Clown nodded back, and then Iron Hammer offered a wave and Dark Boots another nod, making Timothy grin.

Link and Lenalee followed right after Allen, settling around the table. The Innocences reshuffled a little with their entrance; Dark Boots, Crown Clown, and Time Record all shifted to keep Link well within their line of sight, Iron Hammer sat beside Lavi and reclined and pretended not to do the same, and Bloody Krory bared his teeth at Link before shuffling away to hover by an oblivious Krory.

Timothy stared between Link and the Innocences for a few moments before finally blurting out, "What did you _do?"_

Well, that was one way to confront the elephant in the room. Link frowned, and Allen let the corners of his lips turn up in a soft chuckle, pausing in his consumption of his food.

Tsukikami tapped Timothy's shoulder to get his attention, and when Timothy looked at him, he explained, _Link watching Allen. Allen looking uncomfortable. The Innocences all together and the exorcists fighting side by side. Disdain, frustration._

 _Agreement, disapproval,_ Dark Boots agreed with a scowl.

 _Agreement,_ Noel Organon added solemnly. He wasn't watching Link, but he was more tense than he had been previously.

 _Allen looking sad, worry. Miranda fretting, worry._ Time Record was frowning, arms crossed, cross-legged beside Miranda.

Timothy's mouth opened slightly. And then he snorted and looked at Link. "You're screwed," he informed him happily.

Allen frowned. "Timothy, don't exaggerate," he sighed.

"Walker, what is he talking about?" Link asked, but before Allen could answer, Krory broke in to ask tentatively,

"Allen, is it true?"

Allen smiled apologetically and nodded. "Yes, it's true. I'm sorry I didn't tell any of you sooner." Sort of. "But I usually prefer to keep it quiet."

"No, it's okay!" Miranda said, quick and earnest. Time Record broke her gaze to give her a fond smile and a pat on the head she couldn't feel. "When we met, and you were talking to my clock…?"

"Yes, I was speaking to Time Record," Allen smiled. "That's how I knew you could do it - Time Record trusted you."

Miranda blushed deeply, and Time Record smiled. _Affection._

Link, long-suffering, cleared his throat, and Allen grimaced; he'd been hoping Link had forgotten, but that was, of course, silly.

"Timothy wanted to know what you did because some of the Innocences moved around so they could watch you," Allen explained. Link looked up sharply, visibly disturbed, and Miranda and Krory looked concerned as well.

"Which ones?" he asked warily.

"Dark Boots, Time Record, and Crown Clown," Allen answered, and Dark Boots tossed her head haughtily, making him stifle a smile. "Time Record and Crown Clown are both very protective, and Dark Boots is suspicious in general. Judgement and Mugen are, too, but they usually prefer to avoid you."

Link frowned deeply, glancing at Lenalee and Miranda both before returning his gaze to Allen. "And what did… Tsukikami say?" he asked slowly.

Allen's cheeks colored slightly, and Timothy smirked at him, earning himself a fond smile from Tsukikami.

_Amusement. Reprimand._

"Tsukikami explained that you were sent to watch me," Allen explained at last, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. "And that some of the Innocences think it's not your place to distrust an accommodator."

Dark Boots nodded firmly. _Disdain!_

Link's brow furrowed. "Even with your… situation?" he asked, slow and careful - possibly, Allen though, trying not to make his own 'situation' worse.

 _Warning,_ Noel Organon chirped with a light tone and dangerously placid eyes. He gave Crown Clown, who looked unduly worried, a small nod and a smile. _Trust._

Allen shrugged, hiding a smile. "They trust Crown Clown's judgement," he explained. The other exorcists were listening, interest on every one of their faces except possibly Timothy's, though Allen could tell that he was listening, too. "If he hasn't made me Fall, that's enough for them." He hesitated a little, and then expanded, "Innocences stand by their accommodators. They trust their own above any other, but they trust each other and so they trust each others' accommodators, too." Timothy glanced at him, uncharacteristically anxious, and Allen gave him a smile and a nod.

Link looked thoughtful, almost distant. "I see." After a moment, he nodded. "Continue."

Allen shrugged. "There wasn't much after that. Dark Boots and Noel Organon both agreed, and Time Record added that she was worried about me and Miranda." Miranda's eyes widened, and she clapped a hand over her mouth with a blush.

"Then that's all I wanted to know," Link nodded, though Allen was pretty sure that was a lie.

For a moment, he let the other exorcists stew and finished off his food. Timothy chattered shamelessly with Tsukikami, which drew a few thoughtful looks (mostly from Lavi), and a few of the others seemed to be gearing up to ask questions.

Allen wanted to go to bed, but he could stay a little longer if they wanted.

It was Lavi who broke the silence, still in the same casual pose, but his green eye sharp with interest. "So," he started conversationally, "what's Big Hammer, Little Hammer like?"

Iron Hammer gave Lavi a tolerant smile, and then nodded to Allen, smirking slightly. Allen returned it with a small one and answered.

"He's a lot like you," Allen told him, after a moment of careful consideration. "He's very loud and exuberant, and very openly curious, but he has a serious side that he shows more readily than you do."

"He's weird," Timothy said dismissively, and Tsukikami laughed at both Timothy and Iron Hammer's playfully affronted look.

Lavi looked briefly startled, but it was quickly replaced by a false smile and a calculating look. Allen smiled slightly in return and looked around. With a short, tired chuckle, he continued,

"Dark Boots is very proud and sort of irritable, and she can be a little haughty sometimes." Lenalee looked thoughtful. "Noel Organon acts like a child a lot of the time but he's really almost as serious as Mugen." Marie chuckled softly. "Time Record is protective of Miranda and very patient." Miranda blushed. "Bloody Krory…" He hesitated, and felt kind of bad at Krory's eager look. "He's, um, sort of impatient and bloodthirsty most of the time, but he's a lot more tolerant than he acts."

"He's creepy," Timothy pitched in, side-eying Bloody Krory, who glowered at him and twitched. Allen winced.

Krory looked crestfallen and Allen tried to cheer him up with, "He knows your friends mean a lot to you, though, so he helps you the best he can."

Krory gave Allen a tentative smile. "Can you… tell him thank you for me?"

Allen smiled. "He heard you." He glanced at Bloody Krory, who tossed his head and snorted.

 _Disdain, irritation._ After a moment's pause, he added grudgingly, _Krory fighting, approval, encouragement._

Allen chuckled. "He says you do a very good job and to keep it up." Krory beamed.

"And Crown Clown?" Lenalee asked, leaning forward slightly to catch Allen's eye. "What's he like?"

To Allen's confusion, that seemed to catch the interest of the others almost as much as the descriptions of their own Innocences. He coughed, shrugged, and smiled a little, casting his gaze to the table as he answered.

"He's very kind and responsible, and like Time Record, he's protective. He's compassionate and attentive, and…" Allen trailed off, a little embarrassed, but Crown Clown was smiling at him, eyes soft and reassuring. Allen chuckled again. "Well, if it tells you anything, he managed to raise a human child by himself for over five years."

Still looking down at the table, Allen missed the look that was passed around the table.

"That," Lavi announced, once he'd processed this sufficiently, "explains _so much."_

"Doesn't it all?" Lenalee said wryly, laughing a little. "You really are one of a kind, Allen."

"What am I, chopped liver?" Timothy complained, and the rest of them laughed.

"What does Dark Boots look like?" Lenalee asked, looking a little excited, and Allen smiled slightly before starting to answer.

"She looks a little older than you are, with black hair that she keeps in a ponytail-"

He fielded that question, and others like it, for the better part of an hour. When Allen started to lag, Timothy pitched in more, started to get his second wind, Allen supposed - after all, he had to be tired, too.

Finally, one of Allen's answers was cut off in a yawn, and Crown Clown gave him a sharp look that was more anxious than it normally would have been.

_Worry. Reprimand! Allen's room._

"I'm not a child, don't send me to bed like one," Allen muttered petulantly, but secretly, he agreed, and the look Crown Clown gave him made it clear he knew it.

"Oh!" Lenalee covered her mouth and gave Allen an embarrassed, apologetic smile from behind it. "We're keeping you up, aren't we? I'm sorry, you must be tired. You just got back from a mission."

 _"I'm_ not tired!" Timothy declared to no one in particular, but Marie sighed, nodded, and stood, and Allen gave Lenalee an apologetic smile in return.

"I am," he admitted, laughing. "But I'll talk to you all tomorrow, if you want, okay?"

 _Indifference._ Iron Hammer shrugged and grinned at Allen lazily. Dark Boots and Time Record both gave him a small nod, while Noel Organon waved and Tsukikami shot him a brief smile.

"Okay, Allen," Krory agreed with a bright smile, and Miranda nodded fervently. Lavi waved, and Allen smiled at them, stood, and headed out, followed by Link.

"Does your Innocence often treat you like a child?" Link asked Allen archly, half a step behind him.

Allen laughed ruefully. "All the time."

That half step made the difference between Allen seeing the small frown Link shot at his back, and Crown Clown being the only witness.


	23. Past Events

The next day, Allen was forced to remember that, even if all of the exorcists knew, not everyone had been covered in that first wave of explanations. This realization was forced upon him by a sudden call to Komui's office, not long after breakfast.

Link's look was long-suffering, but Allen gave him a grin and a shrug, and Crown Clown granted the boy a fond smile before dropping back to keep an eye on Link while they headed for said office.

"You'll need to do your work as soon as we return," Link said to the boy sternly.

Allen chuckled softly. "I know, I know."

 _Head Nurse grabbing Allen by the ear,_ Crown Clown interjected pointedly, and Allen winced.

"I'm fine," he protested to the Innocence - if he regretted anything about this, it was that he no longer had an excuse to outright ignore Crown Clown's overprotective tendencies. From Crown Clown's raised eyebrow, he knew what Allen was thinking, too.

 _Allen screaming!_ Crown Clown snapped, more harshly than he'd perhaps intended, and Allen started violently. Crown Clown sighed. _Remorse. Worry._

"I know," Allen said quietly, glancing away uncomfortably. "But I really am fine." To Link, "Crown Clown thinks I should go and let Head Nurse look me over after we're finished talking with Komui."

Link raised an eyebrow, but after the events of the day before, he was perhaps less surprised than he might have been. "Well, far be it from me to keep your Innocence from forcing you to take care of yourself," he said ironically. "And it would cause less trouble to visit the infirmary than for you to collapse during a mission." He gave the thin air in Crown Clown's general vicinity a nod. "We'll go there first, then. But you are _not_ getting out of your paperwork."

 _Surprise._ Crown Clown gave Link a startled look, which soon melted into thoughtfulness, his gaze lingering on the blond man. Finally, a small smile worked its way onto his face, and he gave Link a short nod back. _Approval._

Allen smiled. "He's glad you agreed," he told Link, who couldn't hide the flicker of a warm, surprised smile, though it was gone as soon as it came.

In Komui's office, the man himself was pacing, but he spun around as soon as they entered. Allen was a little startled by the bright, excited look in his eyes, a response he had only thus far seen from Bak.

Before Allen could even start to think of something to say, Komui was speaking.

"I've spoken to both Lenalee and Bak about your ability- how could you have told Bak before you told us?" Komui gave Allen an injured look, to which Allen was too startled to respond. He was off again before Allen could recover, talking fast, with wide, sweeping gestures. "Anyway, this is fascinating, really, to have an accommodator who can _see_ and _understand_ Innocence with hardly any effort whatsoever, it's astonishing-"

 _Exasperation._ Crown Clown gave Allen a faintly amused, sideways glance, and Allen gave him a wry smile back. Link raised an eyebrow at Allen, and Allen decided that this was an excellent opportunity to cut Komui off - rude as that was - before he got too far ahead of himself.

"Crown Clown thinks Komui is being ridiculous," Allen told Link, who couldn't hide his briefly startled, and not unamused, look. Komui shut his mouth abruptly, and then grinned sheepishly.

"Ah, I suppose I'm just a little excited," he admitted, chuckling, taking the statement in stride. "It really is amazing, Allen, I have to agree with Bak - it explains quite a lot, as well."

"How did you know Bak knew?" Allen asked, sidetracked.

"I didn't," Komui huffed, blowing his cheeks out like a toddler. "I called him because I wanted to drop the news on him, but _apparently_ he already knew."

"Ah." Allen reached up and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Yeah, a few… Things, happened over at Asia Branch."

Crown Clown grimaced slightly, but Allen shot him a small smile, and after a moment, Crown Clown gave a matching smile back - that was the place where they had spent so long struggling to reunite, but it was also the place where they'd fixed their bond and come back stronger than ever.

"Did you want something, or did you call Walker over here to gush?" Link cut in, one eyebrow raised in some irritation. Komui's smile became slightly fixed for a moment before it eased up again, dimmer than before.

"Ah, yes. Allen, would any of the Innocences be willing to take a bit of time to work with a few members of the Science Department? We'd need your help as well, of course, but it would be a great help in understanding them."

Komui looked earnest, and Allen felt a rush of understanding, accompanied by a small, wry smile. Yes, this would seem a godsend to the scientists, who'd spent their whole career studying a substance that simply refused to cooperate.

"Some of them," Allen confirmed, and Komui's face lit up. "Lau Jimin and Bloody Krory definitely won't, but any of the others might be open to the possibility. Maker of Eden, especially, is very patient, Iron Hammer loves the Science Department, Judgement doesn't have anything better to do…"

"Judgement?" Link interrupted sharply, and Komui looked just as surprised. Allen blinked.

"...Yes?" he confirmed cautiously.

"He's still around?" Komui picked up, stepping a little closer to Allen.

"Yes?"

"You haven't mentioned him," Link pointed out, eyes suddenly narrowed. Allen shrugged uncomfortably.

"He hasn't been around _me,"_ he explained. "And I mentioned him yesterday, remember? He doesn't like you, so he avoids you." Most of the Innocences actually showed up less than they used to, not liking the idea of everything they said being relayed to Link.

Link blinked; evidently he'd forgotten that.

"Then General Cross isn't dead," Komui breathed, stunned.

Allen shook his head. "I never thought he was," Allen said firmly, though it wasn't entirely true.

"I'll have to report this," Link muttered, and Allen shrugged.

"Go ahead. If he doesn't want to be found…" He trailed off, not liking the other possibility: that Cross was being held somewhere.

Link, though, nodded, and Komui stared for a long moment before he shook himself, taking a deep breath before he plowed on.

"Well… In any case, I'll have more questions for you at a later date, Allen." The smile he gave then frightened Allen. "Please come see us with any willing Innocences as soon as possible."

Allen chuckled uncomfortably. "Sure."

"Is that all?" Link asked Komui brusquely. "We have one more stop to make, and then Walker has to get to work for the day."

Komui sighed and shot Allen a brief, worried look, as he always did when Link was being especially stern. Allen gave a reassuring smile back, and Crown Clown nodded firmly.

_Agreement!_

"I'll see you later," Allen assured Komui, who smiled reluctantly back.

"As soon as possible," he reminded the exorcist, who laughed and nodded. "Oh, and Allen?"

Allen, already heading out, looked back quizzically. "Yes?"

"Welcome home."

Allen looked startled for a moment - even now, after almost a year at the Order, he always did - and then he smiled warmly. "Thanks."

* * *

The exorcists, already used to Allen's quirkiness, grew accustomed to this new information surprisingly quickly. Occasionally they would still ask questions, and they certainly always listened in when Allen translated for Link, but for the most part, things stayed the same.

For the most part.

The main difference was Kanda, who Allen hadn't seen hide nor hair of in the three days since the Paris mission. He was starting to, against his better judgement, actually become _concerned._

What was more, Mugen, while spending no more or less time around him than usual, had been melancholy for about that same time, frowning and worried. Allen would have called him anxious if he were anyone else.

_!_

Allen turned and then had to duck a blow from Link, who instantly noticed his preoccupation and slowed to a halt, putting an impromptu end to their sparring session. "What is it?"

"Crown Clown noticed-" Allen started, turning toward the door, and then he cut himself off, eyes widening in surprise.

Kanda was standing in the doorway, arms crossed and scowling defiantly. Mugen was already inside, but his head was down, a furrow in his brow and uncharacteristic worry in his eyes.

"Beansprout," Kanda called out, rough and curt.

"Bakanda?" Allen returned, frowning. "What are you doing here?" Kanda never willingly subjected himself to Allen's presence, and in recent months he'd been actively avoiding him.

Kanda glared at him, and then, suddenly, he was storming across the room, hands moving down to clench into fists at his sides. Before either Allen or Link could react, he had Allen's shirt bunched in one hand and he'd lifted him off his feet.

 _!_ Crown Clown stepped forward, stopping only because he knew he couldn't do anything, face twisting into angry defiance. _Protectiveness, outrage!_

Mugen threw his arm out in front of Crown Clown without lifting his eyes from the ground. _Resignation, desperation. Anxiety._

Crown Clown rounded on Mugen, hand shooting out to grab the other Innocence's shirt in a deliberate imitation of Kanda and pulled him closer roughly, glaring at the older-looking Innocence. _Defensiveness! Hostility!_

_Pleading._

Crown Clown glared at Mugen, and then pushed him away. _Disgust, frustration._

Through all that, for once, Allen's attention never left Kanda, whose mouth worked even as he glared at Allen as if all the world's ills were his fault. Which tallied pretty well with how Kanda had generally been treating him lately.

Allen glared back, tired and frustrated, and Link stood to one side, a deep frown on his face but clearly with no intention of interfering unless things got out of control. That was fine. Allen could handle this himself.

Finally, Kanda demanded, "Where's Mugen?"

Allen scowled at him, more or less unbothered by his less-than-advantageous vantage point, and jerked his head at where Mugen was unnervingly still, self-incrimination in every line of his body. "He's right there, _Bakanda._ Did you need to pick me up to ask me that? Or did you forget how to communicate without violence?"

Kanda made an irritated sound in the back of his throat. "What is he like?"

It was the same question every other exorcist had had, but with a very different tone to it - angry, embittered… and something like _scared._

Allen reached up and clenched his left hand around Kanda's wrist, squeezing until the older male cursed and dropped him. When he was safely on the floor, he snapped back, brow furrowed with frustrated confusion, "Determined. Dignified. Quiet. Dammit, Kanda, what's this about?"

"Che!" Kanda half-turned away, and then turned back, eyes burning with something Allen couldn't identify. "I don't like him," he hissed, making Allen's eyes widen slightly, caught off-guard. Kanda turned away to the general area Allen had told him Mugen occupied, and he shouted at the thin air that was all he could see, "I hate you! You hear me? I hate you!"

And then he stormed off, head bent to face the ground and jaw clenching, a vein in his cheek jumping convulsively, shoulders hunched.

Even Crown Clown's anger had drained away in surprise, wide green eyes turning on Mugen. _!_

 _...Regret._ Mugen, with a much more defeated posture than Kanda had held, followed after him in slow, trudging steps. Allen stared after him, mouth hanging open slightly.

"Walker?"

Link's voice was a little rough as well, almost as disturbed as Allen was. Allen shook himself and looked at Link, silver eyes melting into uneasiness.

"Mugen's sorry for something," he explained, opting only to say as much as he knew. Link's brow furrowed.

"For what?"

"...I don't know."


	24. One, Two, Three

_Disapproval!_

Dark Boots stormed across the room and seated herself firmly on the windowsill, arms crossed and green eyes flashing angrily.

 _Agreement,_ Iron Hammer confirmed, a deep frown on his face. He sat down on a chair instead, hands on his knees, propping him up. _Suspicion. Tokusa as a human. Tokusa as he was. Suspicion._

Allen sighed and sat down on the edge of his bed, worry creasing his face. "Yeah, I know," he said softly, while Crown Clown sat down beside him, also frowning. "I'm kind of worried, too." To Link, "Dark Boots thinks the Third Exorcist Program is a bad idea, and Iron Hammer is worried about how they managed it."

Link sat up, startled, from where he'd bent over his desk to work. "They're still here?" he asked, startled.

Allen nodded absently. "They wanted to talk about the Third Exorcists," he explained.

Link flinched subtly, but Iron Hammer had grabbed Allen's attention and he was no longer looking.

 _?_ Iron Hammer cocked his eyebrow at Allen expectantly.

"There weren't any souls attached to them," Allen told Iron Hammer, reaching up to touch his scar subconsciously. "But I'm worried about what happens to the souls of the akuma they absorb." His brow wrinkled. "I mean… I doubt they're purified."

Dark Boots shook her head sharply. _Derision, bitterness. Confirmation. A green cube of Innocence._ After a moment of consideration, _Reluctance, uncertainty. Dismissal._

Allen sighed but nodded. "Yeah, that's what I thought." He glanced at Link, who was paying even closer attention than normal. "Only Innocence can purify akuma, but Dark Boots isn't sure what happens, either." He smiled ruefully. "And she doesn't care, either."

 _Annoyance._ Crown Clown frowned at Dark Boots, but then snorted softly. _Acceptance._ To Allen, expression serious, _Concern. The Third Exorcists, concern. Reluctance, anticipation, relief. Worry._

"They will be," Allen admitted reluctantly. "But you're right, it was probably bad for them." His brow furrowed. "I mean… I don't pretend to know what will come of this, but…"

Crown Clown nodded sharply. _Concern._ After a moment's thought, _Frustration, worry. The Third Exorcists staring uncaringly. Tokusa standing over a fallen akuma, smiling. Smiling as comrades fall._

Allen sat up, worry appearing in his eyes. "You don't really think so?"

"Think what?" Link asked, sharply enough for Allen to take notice.

Allen frowned, still anxious about what Crown Clown had suggested. "He's worried that they don't care about much but victory," he explained. "I mean…" He trailed off; he could certainly see how Crown Clown had come to that conclusion, the way they tended to act, but it still bothered him.

He could see Link almost biting his tongue against something, looking almost like he was in pain, but the man just nodded and turned away, hiding his expression from sight. "I see. Go on."

Allen eyed him concernedly for a moment but slowly, eventually, looked back to Crown Clown.

 _The Third Exorcists,_ Dark Boots put in, a begrudging look on her face. _Dismissal, apathy._ Then, _Goushi facing an akuma. Goushi fallen. Lenalee facing an akuma. Lenalee walking away unscathed. Kiredori fallen._

"Dark Boots," Allen started, faltering slightly at Link's twitch, "doesn't blame them at all, but she says that there's a reason they weren't chosen as exorcists, and she thinks that making them act as if they were will end badly."

"So she believes that the Artificial Apostle program is faulty by nature?" Link asked, voice low.

 _Agreement, anger!_ Dark Boots snapped.

 _Resentment, concern,_ Iron Hammer added.

 _Agreement,_ Crown Clown nodded.

"Yeah," Allen confirmed for her. "She does. They all do." He wished he could see Link's expression right now.

 _The akuma arm turning on Lavi,_ Iron Hammer added. _The akuma arm turning on Goushi. The akuma arm turning on an Innocence. Concern._

Allen cringed slightly. "That would be… bad," he agreed. "You're right; anything could go wrong."

 _Allen being thrown back into a pillar,_ Crown Clown added, frowning disapprovingly. _Goushi's arm, activated. Concern, dislike, annoyance._

Allen had to laugh a little at that, fond. "I can take care of myself," he reminded his Innocence. That got Link to glance up, frowning, and Allen explained ruefully, "Crown Clown doesn't like them being around me. He's just being silly."

 _Disagreement!_ Crown Clown argued.

Allen laughed.

"Crown Clown really is extremely protective of you," Link noted, a furrow in his brow. "It seems… illogical, considering what brought you together."

Allen shrugged. "We fight together," he explained. "Fighting's different. Akuma are one thing; we can beat those." A shiver went through his frame, and the frowns of both Dark Boots and Iron Hammer changed, unnoticed by him. "People are… different."

"How so?" Link questioned. "If you fought them, you could defeat any single one. Even outnumbered, you're an exorcist. You are almost always stronger."

Allen's gaze cut away uncomfortably. "...I suppose."

Link's gaze lingered on him, but eventually, he let it go, looking away again. "I don't understand you, Walker," he told the report he was working on.

Allen chuckled quietly. "I know. Not a lot of people do."

 _Fondness._ Crown Clown smiled at Allen. _Amusement._

Allen smiled at him, and Crown Clown held his smile for a moment before looking at Dark Boots and Iron Hammer.

 _Firmness._ Crown Clown tilted his head at the window, where the moon rose high above them. _Allen sleeping._

Dark Boots rolled her eyes and Iron Hammer snorted. Allen blushed brightly.

 _Amusement,_ Iron Hammer told Crown Clown, winking. _Acceptance._ He nodded at Allen, who smiled back, embarrassed.

"Goodnight," he told the Innocence, who nodded back and left through the door. Dark Boots nodded at Allen as well, and then followed.

"Are they gone now?" Link asked Allen.

"Yes," Allen confirmed. "Crown Clown reminded them that I needed to sleep." Touches of embarrassment still colored his tone.

"Crown Clown is correct," Link informed him. Allen laughed.

"Yes, yes, alright." He moved around until he was settled into his bed, and Crown Clown, still seated on the edge, smiled down at him, expression soft.

_Affection. Reassurance._

Allen smiled back. "I know. Goodnight, Crown Clown." Raising his voice a little, he added, "Goodnight, Link."

"Goodnight," Link returned, not revealing any part of his thoughts.

Within a few moments, Allen was fast asleep, and Link was, for all intents and purposes, alone. He worked in silence, most of his mind occupied with his thoughts.

Watching Allen interact with the Innocences was… fascinating, in a way. It was clearer, now that he was speaking aloud, that was reacting to people no one could see, holding a conversation rather than looking at stray hallucinations.

It was still theoretically possible, of course, that he was lying, or insane. But between Timothy's confirmation, and the depth of the conversations he held, with multiple perspectives, different personalities (never confused with one another), and Allen's own genuine reactions… Link rather doubted it.

Crown Clown's treatment of the young exorcist was equally fascinating; it drove home what Link had, technically speaking, already known - Allen was a child. And his Innocence treated him like one.

Link often found himself wondering what Crown Clown was, precisely, saying to Allen, and what he didn't know.

For now, though, he sighed, set down his pen, and spoke to the desk, not bothering to look for the Innocence. "I hope," he said, trusting the Innocence to pay attention, "that we can someday get along better." He turned his head and let his gaze linger on Allen. "For what it is worth… I don't believe that he means any harm to anyone. Therefore, I mean him no harm, either."

He waited, though he knew he would receive no response, and then nodded.

"Thank you."

With that, he climbed into his own bed, and eventually, he, too, fell asleep, leaving Crown Clown deep in thought, looking at him.

 _Thoughtfulness._ Finally, Crown Clown smiled. _Regard._


	25. Fifth Interlude: The One Left Behind

_ The golden gates of Heaven. _ _   
_ _ They open and an angel steps out, sword in hand. _ _   
_ __ It raises its sword and dives through the sky.

In the Innocence Mausoleum, it was quiet, and she was confined. She couldn’t reach the other Innocences; the only people she ever saw were the scientists and the little boy who shared Alma’s soul.

Angel Sword was angry. She was furious. And she would not be used for these scientists’ ends.

Alma’s little copy was a good boy, and Angel Sword wanted nothing to do with him. It was too painful, the memory too fresh, and he was too like Alma might’ve been as a little girl. She had no quarrel with him, but she would not take him. So she rejected him, again and again and again-

Until the day he learned what had happened, and then he was so _ much  _ like Alma that Angel Sword instinctively reached back, and-

And she screamed.

Everything was wrong. Alma’s soul grabbed onto hers and refused to let go; it hurt. It hurt so much. She couldn’t breathe. Alma’s mind had broken, she could feel it, all sharp edges and shattered hopes.

_ HE CAN’T KNOW HE CAN’T KNOW DON’T LET HIM KNOW _

She needed to let go-

_ I CAN’T BELIEVE IT HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN _

How could everything go so wrong-

_ HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO US _

She didn’t want this-

_ THEY DID THIS THEY DID THIS KILL THEM NOW _

She hated the scientists-

_ KILL THEM _

She hated them-

_ KILL THEM _

She-

_ DON’T LET YUU SEE WHAT YOU’VE BECOME _

It was hard for Angel Sword to see what was going on; it came in flashes that barely got past the blinding pain and the vice-grip of Alma’s madness. She couldn’t breathe. Her vision blurred. There was a ringing in her ears. Her form felt unnatural, and that hurt, too.

She was drowning in her accommodator’s emotions, in his thoughts, and she couldn’t even tell which way was up, it disoriented her so badly.

Red flashed across her vision.

_ Alma. _

Flesh and blood sliding across her weapon form’s blade.

_ Alma, please. _

Slick, hot blood coating her thickly.

_ Alma. Alma. Please. No. No! NO! _

The lab floor scattered with bodies and blood.

_ Alma, stop! _

Yuu’s little copy, frozen in the doorway.

_ Stop! _

Her harsh blade sinking into Yuu’s body.

_ Stop! _

Yuu standing over them, eyes flashing with horror and rage and tears.

_ Stop… _

Angel Sword’s pain rose and spiralled upward until it was too much. Alma’s body struck the ground, Mugen cut them over and over, and-

Angel Sword lost herself.

After it was all over, Angel Sword dreamed.

Her body was numb, her mind little better. Her chest heaved, though she had no technical need to breathe, and her eyes stayed closed as she slept beside her accommodator. Her mouth gaped open, her face twisted in phantom pain, and saliva trickled from a corner of her mouth.

Angel Sword was one of the kindest Innocences in the Cube. She was also, however, the most ruthless, and this trait always passed over to her accommodators, who never failed to do what they believed needed to be done.

Alma was a ruthless woman. Angel Sword missed her, more than she could express.

She missed Alma when he was gone. He was a good boy. He’d done so well in his last moments, when they were in that field, fighting for their lives-

Angel Sword understood why Alma had done what she did, to hide what she’d learned from Yuu. She understood, but she wanted no part of it. It hurt too much. It-

Angel Sword’s first accommodator had been a man, a full-grown man, defending his family. He alone in his village had had a fully human family; he’d slaughtered the whole village to keep them alive. Angel Sword had helped him gladly, but his family had been afraid. They’d never forgotten. Angel Sword had been sorry for that.

She could imagine Alma in a field of flowers, holding Yuu’s hand and laughing. He let go of Yuu’s hand and spun around, collapsing into the grass, and he would grin at Yuu, who would smile down at her fondly and kneel down to help her pick the debris from her hair.

She dreamed of-

_ Felicia, six years old in 1452, crouched in the dust that was all that remained of her family. Akuma loomed over her as her shoulders shook with sobs, and Will of God reached out, and a ball-and-chain formed in her hands and smashed through the akuma. _

_ Felicia, curled up against an old woman, who cradled her gently, watching her as she slept. Will of God, deactivated, lay at her feet, and her human form knelt in front of both of them, watching with soft eyes and a small smile. _

_ The old woman as an akuma, Will of God smashing through her as Felicia cried angry tears. _

_ Felicia dying alone, fighting for breath, worn out from the fighting, while Will of God leaned over her, unseen tears dripping down her face. _

She dreamed of-

_ Rameses, twenty-two years old in 1108 b.c., beaten and bruised and glaring in defiance and suppressed rage as he was surrounded. He reached forward, and Lunar Eclipse reached back, and he swung his axe. _

_ Rameses leaving behind a city of dust, axe slung over his shoulder, glaring at the horizon. He never looked back. _

_ Rameses overwhelmed, finally falling to yet another city of akuma, exhausted and still just as angry. Lunar Eclipse fought with him to the last, keeping up step for step, and when he finally fell, she stayed with him until a traveller picked her up and pocketed her. _

She dreamed of-

_ Volya, eighteen years old in 1683, just a single member of the crowd under attack on all sides. People fell to dust around him, he focused on the akuma, he reached out, and Ursa’s Wrath reached back, and he swiped at the akuma with huge, clawed hands. _

_ Volya, keeping relentless watch over his city. An akuma appearing just within his line of sight, and then Volya, setting upon the akuma with intent eyes and a determined frown. _

_ Volya, dying as he saved a family from death, crumbling to dust before Ursa’s Wrath could save him, and Ursa’s Wrath screamed her grief and frustration, crouched over yet another dying accommodator. _

She dreamed of-

_ Alma facing down the akuma who attacked her home. She screamed her defiance, face streaked with tears, and Angel Sword reached back, forming in her hands. She spun and lashed out, and bodies fell around him, coating the floor of the lab in blood, and Angel Sword screamed- _

Angel Sword opened her eyes, and the pain returned.

Beside her, Alma woke up.

_ MAKE THEM PAY _


	26. Incremental

“Fourteenth… Didn’t you hear the Earl?” Sheryl’s eyes were black and gold when Allen dared to look, and his smirk was unmistakeable. “You’re not going back to the Order.”

Allen was distracted from replying when the pipes finally parted to reveal their prize - a boy not much older than Allen, barely held together with thread, a cloth around his waist and a tattoo just like Kanda’s on one of his shoulders.

“Allen Walker,” the Earl declared gleefully, “we’re giving you the chance to abandon the Order of your own free will. This is your retirement party.”

_ Me? Retire? _ More importantly, though… “Who’s that up there?”

His eyes wandered from the the suspended boy downward, to someone not held up by the pipes, merely tangled up in them, as irrevocably unconscious as the other. A woman with dark brown skin and shoulder-length, braided hair, with a vivid orange dress embroidered in red and a headband to match - and Allen was willing to bet that if she opened her eyes, they would be a vivid, glowing green. Because no one else had noticed her.

“Alma Karma, mother body of the Thirds,” Tokusa answered Allen, panting slightly. “He was originally an artificial apostle like Yuu Kanda.”

_ Grief,  _ Mugen added solemnly, taking his attention from his accommodator for the moment it took to meet Allen’s eyes.  _ The golden gates of Heaven. They open and an angel steps out, sword in hand. It raises its sword and dives through the sky. _

Alma Karma, and Angel Sword.

Inexplicably, Allen felt cold.

* * *

“Hey, are you awake?”

Allen opened his eyes and started slightly as he met the wide, curious eyes of a little boy, maybe ten or eleven years old. 

“Are you awake?” The boy repeated, sounding hopeful and anxious. “Huh? If you’re awake, raise your hand.”

Allen started to obey, but a hand on his stopped him, and he looked over to see Crown Clown, sitting upright and shaking his head at him, and beside him, already standing, Mugen, staring at the boy with a strange look on his face. When Allen met his eyes, his lips curled.

_ Bitterness. _

* * *

_ “That’s… just like us.” _

Kanda’s eyes widen and he spun around, fixing his gaze on a ghost of a woman, little more than a silhouette.

_! _

Allen ripped his eyes from the pair before them to Mugen, questioning. Mugen’s expression was crumpled with frustration and bitterness.

_ Grief,  _ was all Mugen offered, jaw clenched, taking a half-step back from the pair.  _ Pain and anger. _

Allen’s eyes lingered on the Innocence, worried, and then a loud yell drew his attention back to the young vision of Kanda.

* * *

As Kanda convulsed yet again, Allen unfroze and whirled on Mugen, eyes blazing with fury. He couldn’t find the words to say what he wanted to, but of course, Mugen didn’t need them. He bowed his head.

_ Regret,  _ Mugen admitted.  _ Pain, anger. Resentment. Defiance. Remorse and grief. _

Allen clenched his fists, but Crown Clown, green eyes solemn, touched his shoulder and redirected his attention back to Kanda.

Unnoticed, Road’s eyes lingered on Allen thoughtfully.

* * *

“Everyone’s sleeping. Let’s sit here ‘til we heal.”

As the two boys sat on the ground, Allen sighed and crossed his legs, sitting not too far away. Crown Clown followed, solemn gaze set on them, but Mugen went over to lean by Kanda, unsubtly trying to examine his long since nonexistent injuries.

_ Regret,  _ he muttered, scanning the brittle form of his would-be accommodator.  _ Frustration. Self-recrimination. _

Crown Clown sighed.  _ Disagreement,  _ he countered tiredly.  _ Kanda crawling from the pool. Kanda as he was in the present. Concession, reluctance, acceptance. Young Kanda reaching for Mugen. Confliction. _

“It never would have worked,” Allen echoed, and wondered how much any of them believed it.

_ Regret,  _ Mugen repeated.  _ Acceptance - regret. _

* * *

“What did you do to us?” Kanda screamed.

Allen’s eyes were fixed on Kanda, wide and horrified and crushed, and Crown Clown’s hand was on his shoulder, as heavy as his heart.

_ Resignation,  _ Crown Clown murmured to him.  _ Determination. Resilience. _

Allen took a deep breath and nodded, but couldn’t take his eyes off the younger form of his rival, his friend. From behind him, he felt the soft exhalation of Mugen’s breath.

_ Comfort,  _ he put in, stiff and more worried than he was willing to admit.  _ Confidence. Kanda, younger Kanda, older Kanda. _

Allen nodded.

A minute later, when Kanda’s agony had him bent double, it was the iron grips of the Innocences, one on each arm, that brought him back, not Road’s words.

* * *

“Yow! So many! Is this the Innocence Mausoleum?”

Allen swallowed and met Crown Clown’s eyes, and the Innocence nodded grimly back.

_ Disgust,  _ Crown Clown agreed softly.  _ Dismay. _

_ Rage,  _ Mugen replied coldly.

* * *

The moment Kanda started to slice into Alma, with tears in his eyes and a snarl on his face, Mugen turned his head away.

Shortly afterward, Allen snapped.

* * *

Before Road even drew his attention to the sudden activity of the pipes, Allen became aware of a pulse in the room, dark and rolling like a summer storm.

_ Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. _

_ RAGE. _

Before Crown Clown even told him so, Allen knew, on a deep, instinctive level, that this was Angel Sword. And he was more frightened than he had been in a long, long time.


	27. Coherence

It was hard to think. In the same way that a chorus of screams would pierce someone's ears and make them bleed, Angel Sword's lament - pain and anguish and grief and rage and agony, mashed together to form an indistinct, pulsing _...! ...! ...!_ \- suffocated Allen until he forgot how to breathe.

So, like Kanda and Alma, Allen wasn't quite in his right mind when he threw himself between them, causing Mugen to scrape along Crown Clown's broad blade. Still, he met Kanda's look of death with a glare of his own, teeth gritted in defiance.

There was a brief pause, and then Kanda's glare set and he made to strike out again.

"Get back, Alma! Back!"

Allen barely leapt back in time, ushering Alma back while the akuma-exorcist-boy shoved against him, confused and frustrated.

"Wh-who are you?"

 _Fear!_ Mugen screamed. _Frustration! Worry!_

 _Reassurance, confidence, haste!_ Crown Clown returned, focus in every resonation.

Angel Sword's voice rose above it all, twisted and choked and pervasive. _...! ...! ...! ...! ...!_

Allen refused to let this distract him, and instead lifted Crown Clown again to block Kanda's next attempt. _I won't let you do this. You'll regret it. You'll never forgive yourself._

"What are you doing?" Kanda demanded of him. His voice was low and dangerous, but also hoarse; it almost hurt to listen to.

 _Anguish,_ Mugen gasped out - like Alma's madness was on Angel Sword, Kanda's mindless rage was a vice on Mugen, suffocating and painful. _Desperation! Allen's eyes, Kanda's smile!_

 _I will. I swear I will,_ Allen promised silently.

 _Determination,_ Crown Clown hissed.

"Um…" Allen tried a smile, unnerved by Kanda's look. "Kanda? What's with the weird face?"

"Go away."

"It's the weirdest one you've pulled yet," Allen continued, his smile fading back into a glare. "Why are you making that face and attacking Alma?" _Stupid Kanda, what are you thinking? You don't attack the one who means everything to you. That's stupid._

 _"I asked you what you're doing!"_ Kanda screamed at him, and Allen barely had time to widen his eyes before he added, "Gogen - Rend Flash Claws!"

The attack sent both him and Alma flying back into the rubble, but it didn't prevent him from hearing Mugen's involuntary cry of pain. His determination only cemented further. He was going to help Kanda, whether Kanda liked it or not.

 _Worry, fear, worry,_ Crown Clown murmured anxiously. Kanda flew past Allen to impale Alma, and Allen heard someone yell,

"You're killing yourself, Kanda!"

Allen's next run to interfere ended with a cold slice through his shoulder, and he stumbled and fell, all the air going out of him with the surprise and pain of it. For a moment, he felt dizzy. Numbness started in his shoulder, but quickly dissolved back into pain.

 _Dismay!_ Mugen snarled. _Frustration! Anger!_

Mugen was losing.

_…! ! !_

Angel Sword had lost already.

 _Worry, frustration, encouragement, urgency._ Crown Clown leaned over him, green eyes wide and glimmering with worry and pain.

Crown Clown needed him to get up. _Kanda_ needed him to get up.

Allen nodded to Crown Clown, hauled himself back up, and threw himself in again, clamping his inactive left hand over Alma's to end his barrage.

"Why?" Allen gasped out, breathless.

Alma looked over his shoulder, frowning. "You saw what the Noah showed me," he said after a moment, pain threading through his voice. "You saw why Yuu chose to live nine years ago."

 _Anguishagonyragefear!_ Angel Sword screamed, but it was enough to encourage Allen. It was coherent. Barely so, but it was.

"Can't you forgive that?" he demanded of Alma. Then Kanda fell back to the ground, and Allen was distracted. _He looks-_ "Kanda? Kan-"

Something twisted around him, and then tightened dangerously, making him grunt and glance down. Alma's strange akuma tail had snatched him up and was squeezing him menacingly. Crown Clown surged forward but stopped just short of Alma.

 _Anger! Impatience!_ Crown Clown snapped. _Angel Sword screaming! Angel Sword calm!_

_RAGEAGONYFEAR!_

_Angel Sword calm! Alma screaming, Alma crying! Anger!_

"Who are you?" Alma asked Allen, and Allen gratefully focused on him; focusing on Angel Sword made him dizzy, and she was… frightening, in her deliriousness and derangement. "Are you Yuu's friend?" Alma's hand kept Allen from answering. Allen didn't even know what he would have said. "Can I forgive him? Of course not! _Not while he lives!"_

Then, suddenly, Alma collapsed and his tail loosened, as if in weakness. Allen landed on his feet, frowning. "Alma?"

Alma gasped, and choked, and a ball, marked with his regeneration tattoo, started to bulge out of him, as if being rejected. And while the Earl was talking, Allen was focusing on Alma as his eyes went blank and he started to shake - and Angel Sword's screams faded to whimpers.

_Agony… Fear… Rage and pain…_

"Shut… up… Earl…" Alma whispered. "If I can just… kill Yuu…"

"Why?" Allen demanded, growing frustrated with Alma and with his own lack of understanding. "Why, Alma?"

Something made him look up, and then he yelped and dodged out of the way again, taking Alma with him and leaving Kanda, still seething, behind.

"Kanda?" Allen gasped. "What're you doing?" Alma wasn't trying to kill him anymore! He couldn't even walk!

"What I must," Kanda growled. "Let me have him."

 _Desperation!_ Mugen called. _Denial!_

The curtness, the look in his eyes, and… Oh. Allen understood.

"This is insane!" Allen was smiling a little, though he sure didn't feel happy. Mostly stunned, and after Angel Sword's anguish so abruptly faded, a little hollow. "I wondered what you were thinking… But you aren't thinking anything!" He glanced down; Alma looked almost unconscious in his arms. Allen scowled. "See what's happened to Alma. But you don't care - because it's too painful! You won't even talk to him!"

Allen understood that. But it wasn't okay. Kanda couldn't do this to himself.

 _Desperation!_ Mugen repeated.

"But what did he want from you?" Allen continued relentlessly. "Just your friendship! Even if it meant swallowing his hatred of the Order! _What are you running from, Kanda?"_

Power swelled and grew around Kanda, and Mugen hissed.

_Strain. Anger. Anger!_

"What do you care?" Kanda demanded. "The one who turned Alma into an akuma… was you."

Allen, placing Alma back on the ground, felt his heart drop. Beside him, Crown Clown's head jerked up, a glare plastering itself across his face.

_Anger!_

"You destroyed this branch and turned the Third Exorcists into monsters!" Kanda continued, voice rising. "Because you're a Noah!"

Allen stood up straight, glaring. "Kanda!"

"It's all your fault, you fucking Noah!" Kanda screamed at him. "If it hadn't been for you-"

Allen gave in and activated Crown Clown, swiping out at Kanda, who avoided it easily.

"What do you know about me?"

"Edge End!" Allen snarled.

"Gogen - Explode Spirit Slash!" Kanda threw back.

_Frustration!_

That was Crown Clown and Mugen together, even as Kanda's attack threw Allen back again, his mind hazing with pain.

_Desperation!_

Angel Sword's cry attracted Allen's attention too late, and another attack burned through his shoulder just where Kanda had cut it earlier, still bleeding profusely.

"Alma," Allen groaned, looking over his shoulder.

Alma was crying.

Cold shot through Allen's heart, and then anger. "Kanda!" He whirled back to face the other exorcist, raising his left hand to swipe or to block. "If you destroy Alma, will any of this really end?"

 _Frustration, fear, pain!_ Mugen called out.

 _Desperation! Pain! Fear-anger-rage!_ Angel Sword, a little stronger but not much.

 _Worry! Urgency!_ Crown Clown insisted. _Determination-_

Allen saw Kanda's arm move forward, and Mugen called out a warning, and-

It didn't hurt. The cold metal slid through Allen's flesh, in one side and out the other, without a hint of pain - or rather, everything suddenly hurt so much that Allen could no longer process it.

 _Horror!_ Crown Clown screamed. _Anguish!_

 _Denial,_ Mugen whispered. _Denial, horror, denial._

Allen tried and failed to suck in a breath, and spoke anyway. There was a ringing in his ears. "Take a look… at Alma's face." A pervasive numbness had started where Mugen met Allen's flesh and was slowly spreading across his torso. "Why does he look like that?" Crown Clown's cries were growing more distant, harder to hear. The numbness spread down his arms. "I have…" It consumed him. He coughed, and blood splattered his chin just before that, too, went numb. "No idea."

Then he pushed Kanda off of him, causing Mugen to slide back out, and they flew apart. As if from very far away, he heard, "B-beansprout?"

Allen hit the ground.

He felt numb, and his ears were ringing. His head felt fuzzy, and though Crown Clown knelt over him, he could barely see his face. Black encroached on the edges of his vision, rapidly closing in.

_Panic-Horror-Fear! Allen's eyes! Allen standing!_

Allen wanted to smile, but-

The darkness consumed him.

* * *

A sharp pain in his left eye awoke him with a jolt, and he found himself already on his feet, with Crown Clown right in front of him, looking furious, until he caught sight of Allen's eyes.

Crown Clown nearly collapsed. _Relief. Relief!_

Allen blinked, and then, distracted, he moved his gaze away; his left eye still hurt - and his gaze landed on Kanda, looking defensive and angry, cradling Alma in his arms. Mugen was deactivated, and Mugen leaned over Angel Sword, who lay prone on the ground. When Mugen looked up and met his eyes, relief flooded his gaze as well.

Allen noticed none of this; his gaze fixed on the spirit above them, a beautiful woman - a woman he half-recognized, because he'd half-seen her.

The original Alma.

She looked at him with half-covered, tear-filled eyes, and shook her head. Below her, Angel Sword clenched her fists, still half-conscious at best.

_Pain, regret, fear-_

He had to help them.


	28. Stalling for Time

When Allen woke up, he was in a cell.

He'd passed out at some point after the Thirds had been taken away; the blood loss had finally gotten to him, and probably exhaustion too. And this… This didn't surprise him nearly as much as it might've.

He lifted his head, eyes half-lidded and tired. Timcanpy, still massive, was bound to the ground a few yards away. Confining CROW spells lined the walls, and his left arm was wrapped in another, with his hand pressed to his shoulder, as if stuck putting pressure on the wound still there.

And there was Crown Clown, kneeling in front of him all of a sudden, green eyes anxious and expression pinched. _?_

Allen took a deep breath; with the spell currently binding him, and the aches and sharp pains still littering his body, it was harder than he would have liked. "Where's…" His throat was dry and his voice cracked. "Are they okay?" Kanda? Alma? Mugen? Angel Sword?

Crown Clown's head fell slightly, eyes shuttering, and he took a deep, silent breath, apparently relieved. Before he could say anything, though, another interrupted.

_…_

Allen looked up, startled, and found Mugen in the opposite corner, looking ghostly and frustrated, seated on the ground with his arms crossed and one leg pulled halfway to his chest with the other splayed in front of him, leaning against the wall. He was transparent, and looked perhaps a little more haggard and sallow than usual, but he was okay.

A relieved smile crossed Allen's face. "Good. That's good. I'm glad."

 _Kanda in Mater,_ Crown Clown added, soft and subdued. _Alma in Mater. Leverrier yelling._

Allen closed his eyes and sighed, head tipping back to rest against the wall. "Thank God," he whispered hoarsely. They were okay. They hadn't been found yet. "And Angel Sword?" She'd been stirring when he'd passed out, but still in quite bad shape.

 _Angel Sword dissolving,_ Mugen answered without looking at him. _Angel Sword in Mater, with Alma. Angel Sword opening her eyes, beginning to wake._

"That's good," Allen repeated softly. Then he let his brow furrow slightly, concerned. "Why aren't you with them?"

Mugen still wasn't looking at him, but that didn't keep Allen from seeing his expression, which had turned pensive. _A pipeline overflowing with water, connecting Mugen and Kanda. The water running dry, leaving the pipe empty._

Allen didn't quite understand this, so he looked to Crown Clown for clarification, frustrated with himself. Crown Clown met his eyes and let his frown deepen, coloring with sadness, and then reached out to press his hand against Allen's bound one.

 _A pipeline between Allen and Crown Clown, overflowing with water. Allen activating. A pipeline half-full of water. Allen activating Crown Clown's old form. A pipeline with no water. Allen as a small child, unable to activate._ He hesitated for a moment, and then continued. _A severed pipeline. A Fallen One._

 _A pipeline with no water,_ Mugen repeated, his back bowing a little more as if to hide himself. _Kanda reaching out to Mugen, acceptance. Kanda turning away, acceptance._

"I see," Allen murmured, silver eyes lingering on Mugen, colored with concern. So Mugen had desynchronized with Kanda, without cutting the bond, thus freeing him from his obligations while preventing him from becoming a Fallen One. And now he was leaving the next move to Kanda himself.

Allen wished he had reassurance to offer Mugen, but he himself didn't believe for a moment that Kanda would return. He couldn't - not after learning how much Kanda hated them, and why.

Still, Allen started to stand, and then gasped sharply as pain shot through his side. Crown Clown's hand tightened on his arm and forced him back down, and Allen went without resistance, startled and panting painfully.

It took a few moments for him to recover; when he did, he looked up to meet Crown Clown's eyes, only to find that Crown Clown wasn't looking back. He was staring at the cement floor instead, bitter frustration clear in his eyes, and concern entered Allen's expression. He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but Mugen inadvertently interrupted.

_Regret, concern. ?_

Allen, temporarily distracted, shot Mugen a small smile. "I'm fine," he assured him. "Are you okay? It sounded like you were hurting a lot before."

Mugen shook his head sharply, less in negative answer and more in self-recrimination. _Mugen sinking into Allen's torso, regret. Condemnation. Kanda lost in mindless rage, worry, regret._

"It wasn't his fault," Allen dismissed, shaking his head. "It doesn't matter."

 _Allen, skin grey, eyes gold, with a line of crosses on his forehead, smirking,_ Crown Clown snapped sharply. **_Acceptance?_**

Allen flinched, and Crown Clown jerked his head away, scowling.

_...Remorse._

_Remorse!_ Mugen added, more vehement than Crown Clown's and colored with self-recrimination. _Frustration, regret. Gratitude, regret._ A moment of hesitation, and then he slumped and added, _Allen opening a gate. Kanda turning back to smile at him. Gratitude._

"Of course," Allen assured him, and meant it. "He deserved a break."

Mugen nodded, but the regret didn't leave his eyes. _Apology._

"It's okay," Allen insisted.

Before the conversation could circle back into itself, Crown Clown interrupted,

_?_

When Allen tilted his head in question, Crown Clown just nodded at Allen's bonds, the chains heavy around his ankles and the spell heavier on his arm, Allen let his own face fall into solemn lines.

"I don't know. I can't let them know where Kanda and Alma are…" He trailed off, and then picked up again, much softer and more vulnerable, though he didn't dare go so far as to let the fear leak into his voice. "I… I don't know what to do about the Fourteenth."

 _Determination!_ Crown Clown said fiercely, green eyes burning and jaw clenched. Allen nodded reluctantly.

"I won't go down without a fight," he agreed, steel threading through his voice for just a moment before it faded. "But… Crown Clown…" He swallowed, remembering spreading numbness and Crown Clown with a face caught between fear and fury. "If I lose to him…"

 _Determination!_ Crown Clown snapped. _Allen with pale skin and grey eyes!_

"But _if I do…"_ Allen pressed, worried for his Innocence and unable to admit his own fear, even to himself.

 _Allen with **pale skin** and **grey eyes!**_ Abruptly, Crown Clown stood up and turned away to pace, fists clenching and unclenching convulsively. _Allen turning Crown Clown's claws on himself! Anger, frustration, horror! Allen prone on the ground, eyes closed, in a pool of blood, denial! Crown Clown standing over Allen, expressionless, as Allen died, DENIAL! Anger! Horror!_

"...Oh." Allen felt a flush creep across his face. "I'm sorry."

Crown Clown clenched his fists again and then let himself crumple in front of Allen, one knee up by his chest and the other half-folded on the ground, while his hand was lifted to cover his face, threading through his hair, and his elbow rested on his thigh. _Frustration._

Threatening to kill himself had been, Allen had to admit, a very low blow, but he had been _so desperate_ to save Tokusa - an attempt that had ultimately come to nothing. He ruthlessly crushed the beginnings of a sob, but couldn't stop the tears from pricking at his eyes.

Silently, he wondered whether or not he found it reassuring that Crown Clown refused to kill him, for any reason.

At that moment, before any of them could speak again, another figure swept in through the wall, and Allen looked up. A second later, his eyes widened slightly.

He hadn't seen Judgement in quite some time - mostly, at best, in passing. From what he understood, the semisynchronized Innocence had been avoiding almost everyone, seeking only solitude.

And Judgement… Now that Allen could see him for more than a split second, he looked terrible. There were dark circles under his eyes, his cheeks hollowed out to the point of malnutrition, and his skin an unhealthy pallid color. His long brown hair was even messier than usual, and his shoulders were slumped, as though he were exhausted.

Allen's mouth fell open slightly, but whatever he might've said - if he ever managed to regain his voice - was barrelled right over by Judgement.

 _Leverrier yelling,_ Judgement rapped out, green eyes shadowed with exhaustion but still as intense as ever. _Mugen's weapon form, covered in rust and held by Zhu. Reever, Johnny, Jiji, Cash before Leverrier. Lenalee at a table, surrounded by other exorcists, all in similar states of depression. Lavi's room, empty._

Allen's eyes widened. "Lavi's gone?"

Judgement nodded shortly. Allen bit his lip.

Everything was falling apart. And he couldn't do anything about it, and-

 _Link walking down the hall,_ Judgement continued relentlessly, allowing Allen no time to panic. Then, eying Allen, _Concern._

"I'm fine," Allen said distractedly. "Link's coming?"

Judgement nodded shortly. Allen took a deep breath.

"I'm not going to talk," Allen decided. At Crown Clown's worried look, he continued, "I'm not going to say anything at all. If I don't say anything at all, they can't trick me into-" He stopped, but Crown Clown's eyes had softened again.

 _Grief. Pride,_ Crown Clown offered softly.

 _Gratitude,_ Mugen added, a little rougher but just as subdued.

Allen nodded, and then he stopped talking.

A few minutes later, the door opened, admitting Link, who bore a tray of food, his eyes fixed on the ground. The blond-haired man marched almost robotically until he stood directly in front of Allen.

"You're imprisoned until further notice," Link said abruptly, without lifting his gaze. "The di- Central, has deemed you too high-risk to let free, but provided you cooperate, and the awakening doesn't progress any, you may…" He stopped, clearly hesitant, and Allen tilted his head at him. After a moment, he plowed on. "You are very valuable to the Order. They won't…" He trailed off again, and then set the tray down, turned, and very nearly fled.

Allen sighed softly and looked at the tray, then at Crown Clown, who averted his gaze. Allen nodded to himself, taking that as confirmation, and then, resignedly, picked up the tray, brought it back to the door - which proved just how far he was allowed to walk, as that was enough to press the manacles against his ankles - and set it down. That done, he turned away, crossed to the bed in the corner of the room, and lay down, closing his eyes.

He had to hold up. He had to. For himself and for Kanda, for Alma, for Mugen and Angel Sword-

He had to hold up. No matter what it took.

A moment later, he felt Crown Clown sitting beside him, and then Crown Clown's fingers in his hair, gentle and soothing.

Allen tilted his head into the touch, and braced himself for what he knew was coming.


	29. Aversion

_That's right. I gave in to hate, while having no clue at all about the Fourteenth. He was Mana's younger brother. Why did he betray the Noah and want to be the Millennium Earl? Perhaps, if I knew, I could change things._

For a few moments, silence reigned. Then Link, clearly wanting to change the subject, asked abruptly,

"Is… your Innocence well?"

Allen glanced over at him, took in his look of discomfort, and offered a small, hesitant smile. "He's fine," he assured Link quietly. "Just worried and restless."

 _Hostility and bitterness,_ Crown Clown corrected tartly, green eyes narrowed, set unwaveringly on oblivious Link.

 _Agreement,_ murmured Mugen, settled in the corner that he almost never left. _Frustration._

Allen winced, and at Link's questioning glance, he admitted, "He's angry with you."

Link inclined his head slightly, and, not so much to Allen, he said, "I understand."

 _Defiance,_ Crown Clown countered, then, to Allen, _Frustration!_

Allen winced, and then, to Link, continued, "He's upset, that's all; he's been with me my whole life, and there've been a lot of people who turned away from me. He doesn't like seeing another." He smiled at Link reassuringly. "But it's fine. I'm used to it."

He watched Link's expression crumple slightly, and winced, realizing that he had said the wrong thing. Before he had time to correct himself, though, a bolt of- not pain, not surprise, not anything at all, and that, that was the problem-

"Crown C-clown...?" he heard himself call, distantly.

He'd lost his train of thought somewhere along the way, because… because he was sinking into fog, and his vision was turning hazy. It was hot, and he couldn't bowl of food smashed on the ground, and he saw Link rushing toward him, eyes wide and alarmed, and then Crown Clown's features interposed themselves, and he could hear yelling, _!_ and _alarm_ and _terror._

And then his vision hazed over enough that he couldn't see, and he verged on unconsciousness.

That lasted until he was jolted out of it, and his eyes went wide, because-

_Possessiveness-Impatience-Desire-SYNCHRONIZATION_

But it wasn't synchronization, it wasn't, synchronization was-

_Warmth/Love/Protectiveness_

And this was-

**_Possessiveness_ **

And he hated it, let go, let go, _reject-_

Allen didn't realize he was screaming until the pain stopped and his voice died in his throat, leaving him panting for breath, eyes squeezed shut.

_…! …!_

...Crown Clown?

He pried his eyes open to see Crown Clown crumpled beside him, wracked with shudders, with Mugen hovering over him, wide-eyed and alarmed. Mugen glanced up to meet Allen's eyes, but then Link's scream distracted both of them.

He glanced up, saw a man doing _something_ to Link - who looked awful, with Innocence feathers sprouting gruesomely from his eyes, mouth spread in an agonized howl, and Allen _reacted._

Crown Clown dissolved beside him as he activated, and the next thing he knew, there was a spike of hardened Innocence in his forehead.

Allen froze.

_Shit… I was in a daze… and couldn't… control it. I thought he was going to kill Link, so I… killed… him._

And then the man, with the tendril still buried in his forehead, started to move, walking toward him, passing carelessly over Link's limp body. Mugen stiffened.

_Warning. Warning!_

But Allen couldn't bring himself to move, even if he hadn't been chained to the wall.

"You can still move," the man mused. "Your spiritual strength is amazing."

The words pulsed with a strange resonance - it reminded Allen of Innocence, but something about it made him want to quiver with fear. He set himself against it, never taking his eyes off the man as he approached.

"Crown Clown," he continued, head tilted with interest, gaze flicking unmistakably, for a split second, to Crown Clown. "Judgement. Mugen." Again, his gaze flicked to Mugen before returning to Allen. "Dark Boots. Time Record, Iron Hammer, Bloody Krory- Is there any Innocence with which you have not bonded, Allen?"

Allen's mouth was dry, and he couldn't bring himself to do anything but stare. Mugen and Crown Clown were both suspiciously silent, and if he'd had the will to think, it would've concerned him. Instead, he watched the man smile, and stiffened as he cradled Allen's head between his.

"You've grown into a splendid exorcist, Allen." His smile widened. "Don't be afraid. You're just going to become one with me-"

And then Allen heard no more, drowned out by-

_Possessiveness-desire-synchronization-HUNGER._

_"When we met… he didn't tell me his name was Allen. I should've caught my mistake sooner."_

_Master!_

And then, once again, it ended.

* * *

"I don't mean _that!"_ Allen snarled at Tyki, furious at Tyki for not understanding, at himself for going along with it, at Road for sacrificing herself and _confusing him so much-_ "I'm an exorcist! Why should I escape with the Noah?" He shook his head sharply, but he didn't drop Road. "Look… _You're_ the ones who complicated everything! If you want to run, go ahead! Tim and I are going back to-"

To what? Would the Order even take him back?

Mugen turned to look at him, arms crossed and faint scowl on his face. _Warning._

_!_

He never decided what to say; instead, he gasped, at the same time as Crown Clown beside him. He jerked his arm, which was morphing painfully, away from Road, and then looked over.

Crown Clown had hunched over, a pained expression on his face, and he was shaking, one hand clenched at his chest. Mugen's eyes had widened, and he was hovering over the other Innocence. For a moment, his gaze went to Allen, just as startled as he was.

"What are you _doing?"_ Tyki shouted at him, lunging forward to take Road back. "Stop that!"

Allen clutched at his left arm, eyes on Crown Clown. "Shut up, don't _touch_ me!" he snapped breathlessly. "Crown Clown? What's wrong?"

Crown Clown dragged his head up, meeting his silver eyes with pained, confused bright green, and shook his head once.

 _Allen… Is he there?_ Like an Innocence but not, not at all.

Mugen flinched from it, eyes squeezing briefly shut, and then his head turned to Crown Clown.

 _Confirmation,_ Crown Clown dragged out, and then his eyes widened, and he jerked away. _Confusion-denial! Confusion-anger!_

 _Confusion,_ Mugen agreed, looking first at Crown Clown and then back where the 'voice' had come from. _Alarm. Alarm!_

"Apocryphos," Allen breathed, recognizing the feel of the 'voice'. "What did he _do?"_

"Your left arm is telling him where we are!" Tyki decided, stepping behind Allen and seizing it. "I'll cut it off."

For a moment, Allen's mind went blank, and he met Crown Clown's gaze, which was… conflicted? And Mugen had lowered his head, stepping away, _looking_ away.

Did they really- did _Crown Clown_ really think-

Allen jerked away from Tyki, whirling on him furiously. "No! It's not his fault!"

Crown Clown closed his eyes, and then his fist, still clutching at his chest, clenched tighter, and he fell to his knees. _Regret, regret, worry, Allen! Worry!_

_Sorry, Crown Clown, but I won't leave you behind, either._

* * *

"The Order is where my heart is," Allen promised Lenalee, "because of all the wonderful goofballs, like you." He let go, stepped away, and smiled at her tearful face. Mugen remained beside her, expression hardened and frustrated and something like bitter, and Allen smiled at him, too, and added, "Mugen, Dark Boots- Take care of the other Innocences while I'm gone, won't you?"

Mugen nodded once, tightly, and Crown Clown glanced at Allen.

_Warning, haste._

Allen nodded, gave Lenalee one last smile, and then turned and left, not a moment too soon - Lenalee's cry echoed behind him just as the door shattered.

_"Allen!"_


	30. Sixth Interlude: Steadfast Swordsman

In the months following Alma's death, Kanda only put Mugen down to shower and sleep. In that time, Mugen learned more about Kanda than he'd ever thought to wonder.

He learned the Kanda had never seen the sky before. He learned that the collapse of the Second Exorcist Project had brought down everyone he'd ever known. He learned that Kanda had nightmares almost every night and hated being covered in blood.

He learned that he hated foods with too much flavor. That he woke up at the same time every morning and went to sleep at the same time every night. That he liked to take long showers, but didn't like most people to know this. That even without his voice, Kanda was very expressive.

Mugen watched Kanda learn and grow; he was young, and Mugen had taken few young accommodators over the years, but even in that, he was different.

Kanda was small, but fierce and stubborn, and he was strong; Kanda himself made sure of it, and Mugen was more than happy to help him - he never liked to be out of the loop for long.

Kanda reminded Mugen of Yuu, but he was his own person, too.

(Yuu had hated bland foods with a vengeance.)

Kanda had, all things considered, recovered quite well with the event, and his simmering rage only grew as time went on - hatred for the Order, for the akuma, for himself, for the world. For everything. Mugen could work with that, and from a purely professional point of view, he could even appreciate it.

There was more.

Kanda polished Mugen every night. Trained with him every day. Used him to his fullest extent in every battle (all life-force-powered enhancements aside). No matter what kind of day Kanda had had, he treated Mugen with respect, ginger and cautious in both movement and attitude; as the years went by, it eased into a simple familiarity, an implicit trust.

In turn, Mugen kept his eye on Kanda, watched him grow up and become bitter, lash out and make friends. He watched him look after everyone the very best he could manage, even as he insisted otherwise, and felt his rage grow every time he failed, the same way Mugen's did.

It was when he was standing over Kanda, watching him heal from the aftermath of a battle, panting harshly, that he realized, with clear, sudden certainty, that he did not deserve Kanda's trust.

And that was when he grew frustrated with himself. (He was seven thousand years old. The time for making mistakes had long passed, and this was unacceptable.)

With no outlet for his frustration or his apology, save one that Mugen considered out of the question even now, Mugen watched over Kanda; they worked together. They synchronized and grew stronger.

The day Kanda went out on a mission and came back alone, the sole survivor, they broke critical and wiped out a town, and Mugen had never been more proud.

So Kanda's harsh reaction when he learned of Mugen's personification was a jarring return to reality, and Mugen found that he did not blame Kanda in the slightest.

After that, Kanda touched Mugen as little as possible, almost as if he thought Mugen would burn him; Mugen thought that perhaps he did, though Mugen would never do such a thing now. He had learned too much about his new accommodator for that, and for every ounce of trust Kanda had formerly held in him, Mugen held at least as much in Kanda. They fought, after all, for many of the same reasons.

Because Kanda avoided Allen, the only person who could possibly have acted as a go-between, and because he did not deal with surprise especially well, the problem went unresolved for quite some time - in fact, Mugen thought with regret, it still had not been resolved.

It was Kanda's escape with Alma, in fact, that gave Mugen hope. He had let Kanda go, yes - he wanted Kanda to be able to make that choice - but he had faith in his accommodator, as his accommodator had always had faith in him. Kanda would return, because he hated to leave anything unfinished, even a war. And especially a debt.

Mugen would wait.

* * *

Sure enough, Kanda came. Mugen listened to his conversation with Zhu, and he smiled - Kanda had been put under enough pressure that it could have easily broken him, but it didn't. For Kanda did not break easily.

Instead, he learned and he grew, and Mugen was proud of him.

When Kanda laid his hand over Zhu's, over Mugen's rusted blade, and asked him to awaken, Mugen did. He reverted, in fact, to a God Crystal, his very basest form, and waited.

Kanda wanted this enough, he knew - he could feel it from the time Kanda entered. He felt the need to repay Allen, to see this burden through, and even, though Kanda would never have admitted it, the need to see the akuma vanquished, the fighting ended. He wanted it enough to bind himself to Mugen forever.

Mugen prepared himself - and then Lenalee reached out and squished him.

He could hear Dark Boots laughing at him and he did not appreciate it.

Still, he melted in Lenalee's hand, waiting, and sure enough - sure enough, Kanda drank it, freely and without hesitation, and soon, Mugen was humming through his veins.

No words were needed before he burst out, twisting first into the twisted humanoid form Kanda knew too well, and then into the katana form Mugen took on for Kanda.

"Mugen - activate!"

_I trust you._

* * *

It wasn't until they were alone that Kanda spoke to him directly. It surprised Mugen; ever since Allen had revealed the existence of Mugen's humanoid form, Kanda had, whenever he was alone, given off the firm impression of ignoring him, even more so than when he had not known that Mugen existed.

Apparently, Kanda had finally forgiven him enough to break his silence.

"Mugen." Kanda lifted his head and fixed his gaze on the wall in front of him, arms crossed, leaning on the opposite side of the empty hallway. Mugen, beside him, turned his head to look at him, but remained silent. "I don't know if you're here or if you're listening, but I'm going to say this anyway, and I'm only going to say it once.

"I used to hate you. Sometimes I still do, for tying me to this miserable Order." Kanda blew out an irritated breath, still staring straight ahead. "But not for what you did in the beginning. I don't hate you for that. You're right, I wasn't ready." He smirked mirthlessly. "This war would've torn me apart - chewed me up and spit me out. I'm not gonna thank you, but I don't hate you." He let his head dip slightly, but kept his eyes focused on the same place. "So here's what I'm saying. I still need you. You still need me. If you didn't want to work together again, you wouldn't have liquified, so I guess there's that." He smirked again. "And I do, too. So let's get this shit done and see what screwball situation the beansprout's gotten caught up in this time."

Mugen let the corners of his mouth lift in a brief smile. _Acceptance. Agreement._

Kanda waited for a moment, and then pushed himself off the wall, spun around, and stalked forward. "Come on, then."

Mugen did.

At the same time, he reached for a part of Kanda deep within him, the part that took his life force and used it to heal - and turned the worst of the curse onto himself.

Kanda would not die while Mugen still had energy to give. And he was, after all, constructed almost purely of life force.


	31. Eating Up Distance

"Brings back memories, huh, Crown Clown?" Allen asked with a small, rueful smile, walking briskly down the road, with Tim nestled quietly on his head.

 _Displeasure. Concern._ Crown Clown glanced at him; though the Innocence never grew tired, Allen still did, and he was no longer used to journeys of this sort.

Still, Allen smiled at him. "Don't worry. I might not spend a lot of time just walking anymore, but I've hardly been idle."

Crown Clown sighed silently. _Allen with a hand pressed to his torso. ?_

Allen grimaced slightly, glancing down to where feathers of Innocence stopped up the stab wound in place of healing. "It's holding," he assured his Innocence quietly. "It doesn't even hurt, usually."

 _Discontent._ Crown Clown sighed again, but then smiled faintly. _Relief, happiness._

Allen laughed. "Yeah, me, too." It sounded more tired than he'd meant it to.

Crown Clown's gaze went back to him, concerned again. _Allen with grey skin and gold eyes. Worry._

Allen's smile faded. "...I don't know yet," he admitted, shivering despite himself. "I mean, he hasn't shown up since…" He trailed off. "But I still see him in the mirror." Only Crown Clown knew this; he hadn't told anyone else, and neither had his Innocence. It was, he acknowledged silently, a form of denial.

Crown Clown nodded solemnly. _Apprehension. Determination, resolution. Protectiveness._

Normally, Allen would've found this a lot more comforting, but now… His gaze shifted away, to the ground in front of him. "I know," he said quietly. "And I won't go down easy, I promise you that." He bit his lip. "I just… I don't…" He shrugged.

Crown Clown reached over to ghost his fingers over Allen's shoulder, bright green eyes soft and sorrowful. _Comfort. Regret. Determination. A path leading far ahead._

Allen took a deep breath and nodded, deliberately speeding up a little. "Right. I won't stop. I won't let this stop me."

Crown Clown smiled, though the look in his eyes never changed. _Agreement. Determination._

For a few minutes, they both walked briskly, the Innocence having no trouble keeping up with his accommodator despite the former's somewhat shorter legs. Finally, Allen broke the silence.

"Crown Clown?"

 _?_ Crown Clown glanced over at him, frowning slightly at Allen's hesitant tone. Allen didn't look back.

"You… you never said what you'd do. If the Fourteenth consumed me."

Crown Clown visibly tensed. _Defiance,_ he warned.

Allen felt a lump in his throat. "I know. But please." He managed a small smile. "Humor me."

Crown Clown jerked his head away sharply, scowling for a moment, and then, visibly, softened, pensive and regretful. _...Rejection. Rejection, rejection, rejection. Pain. Regret._ He glanced back at Allen, a deep furrow appearing in his brow, with unhappiness but no uncertainty in his eyes. _Allen on the ground. Allen breathing. A mirror showing Allen's reflection but no shadow._ And then, quietly, _Uncertainty. Hopelessness. Helplessness._

Allen nodded. "Thank you," he said softly, knowing Crown Clown had hated that. "I hope-"

 _Allen with grey eyes,_ Crown Clown interrupted sharply, but with perhaps less forcefulness than he'd managed earlier. _Allen smiling, Allen laughing, Allen sleeping as Crown Clown sat beside him. Toddler Allen curled up against Crown Clown._

Allen managed a small smile. "Right. I'll stay me. For as long as I can."

 _Comfort, resolution, faith,_ Crown Clown said firmly.

Allen wished he had the same trust in himself. But he'd already come so close to failing so many times. And-

"Do you think we'll see them again?" he asked suddenly.

He could almost see Crown Clown curling in on himself, even though neither of them ever stopped walking. But then the Innocence nodded. _Allen on a road that led far ahead._

"Alright," Allen agreed, trying to force himself to perk up. "Alright. I can do this."

Crown Clown smiled at him. _Faith._

Allen knew that, but it still helped, to hear it.

* * *

"Ouch!" Allen lurched away from Tim's sharp teeth and half turned to scowl at him with all of the energy he could muster, which wasn't much. "Wh… Why'd you do that, Tim?"

Then his whole body - not just his wound, where his hand was pressed, but his whole body - throbbed painfully, and he collapsed against the wall as his legs gave way.

It wasn't the gripping emptiness that had seized him in the cell, not quite, but- His Innocence burned. His shoulder and his wound, they burned like fire, holy fire, and that was almost worse. There was no mistaking this feeling. The Fourteenth was trying again.

_!_

Instantly, Crown Clown was kneeling in front of him, a hand at his head to tilt it back so Allen was staring desperately into his Innocence's frightened eyes.

 _Calm!_ Crown Clown said forcefully, while making no move to lead by example. _Reassurance, encouragement, desperation, reassurance, faith!_

Allen clenched his fist subconsciously against the wall, trying to ignore the tears pricking at his eyes as he panted, both from the exertion and the fear. _Calm down. Calm down. It'll be fine. You're still fine._

He let his hands slide off the wall and glanced at them; Crown Clown still looked fine, but his right was starting to look grey. He clutched them both to his chest and jerked his gaze back to Crown Clown, pleading. _Please. Please, I don't know what to do._

 _Reassurance, reassurance, reassurance,_ Crown Clown chanted. His hand was fisted in Allen's hair, gentle but firm, keeping Allen's eyes on him, looking almost as close to tears as his accommodator. _Allen with pale skin and grey eyes! Allen smiling, Allen laughing, Allen on a road that led far ahead! Allen!_

"It'll be fine," Allen gasped out, not sure whether he was reassuring himself or his Innocence. "It'll be fine, it'll be fine, it'll be fine, it'll be _fine!"_

 _Faith, faith, desperation, Allen with grey eyes,_ Crown Clown returned, hand sliding back to cup the back of Allen's head instead, keeping it tilted back.

"It'll be fine!" Allen repeated breathlessly. His head felt fuzzy and warm, and the emptiness from before was pulsing through his body now. What parts of his brain could pull themselves together were working hard and fast, searching for something, anything, to fix this.

_If it retreated after encountering Apocryphos…_

"It'll be fine!" Allen said again, louder.

 _Agreement, affirmation, encouragement, encouragement!_ Crown Clown's other hand was out now, his thumbs on Allen's cheeks and fingers cradling his head. Allen stared at him dazedly, dimly aware that his vision was starting to go blurry.

_Crown Clown... Could Crown Clown...? Please. Please!_

"It'll be fine!" But it was quieter now, hoarse.

 _Comfort, affirmation, reassurance, encouragement, faith, faith._ Crown Clown's eyes were searching his, looking more and more worried as the minutes passed. _Worry, comfort, encouragement._

"It'll be fine, it'll be fine!" Pleading. _Please, Crown Clown!_

 _Desperation._ Crown Clown was crying; if he'd been more aware of himself, Allen might have been, too, but he was growing more and more detached from his own body. _Allen with pale skin and grey eyes! Allen with pale skin and grey eyes!_

He opened his mouth to try to ask for help, but his throat wouldn't work. He couldn't get the words out.

"Please," he whispered, because it was all he could manage, and opened his fist, saw Crown Clown's eyes widen, and then suddenly they were gone, and he almost felt asleep, the mere effort of calling on his Innocence suddenly out of reach, a million miles away. He couldn't see anything but what his mind's eye offered.

And then- a man, one he didn't quite recognize, appeared in the haze. Allen reached for him, exhausted, dazed.

"Neah... Do you hate me?" the man asked him, and he was crying, silently, kneeling in front of him.

Allen stared at him, dazed, hand outstretched.

The man reached out. "Neah..." he repeated, voice breaking.

"Allen!"

_!_

The dual calls of Kanda and Mugen jerked Allen out of his daze, and suddenly he was once again aware of his surroundings, some of his energy flooding back into him. He refocused on Crown Clown in front of him, his tearful green eyes, and then Kanda leapt down to stab the akuma emerging beneath them, forcing Crown Clown to jerk away or be phased through.

With the akuma gone, Kanda sighed, and then looked at Allen with annoyance that was almost too familiar. "Why are you spacing out this time?"

And Allen filled with anger, anger that did more to motivate him to action than almost anything else ever had.

Kanda had returned.


	32. Shaken Up

Johnny was worried.

It had been half an hour since Allen had passed out, and he'd shown no signs of waking up so far. While he had the utmost faith in Allen - how could he not? - it didn't stop him from being concerned. Not at all.

And if _he_ was worried, he could only imagine how Allen's Innocence must feel.

It had taken some getting used to, the idea that Innocences were people, but in the end, it made perfect sense. Given half a chance, Johnny might've wanted to have a conversation with one - he wondered if Allen would be receptive to the idea.

But for now…

He gave Allen his best reassuring smile, since he wouldn't be able to find Crown Clown. To the air, he said, "He'll be alright, you know. I believe in him." He hesitated - Lenalee had mentioned, hadn't he, that Allen had implied that Crown Clown had raised him? "And I think you do, too."

He almost left it at that - he didn't want to pester the Innocence, after all, and he had no way of knowing if Crown Clown was listening or not. Still, Johnny could be a little bullheaded, so he continued.

"This has to be hard on both of you, so… I promise I'll be here. Okay? That might not mean much, since I can't hear you…" He chuckled nervously. Oh, how stupid he must sound. "But I will."

He hesitated, decided that was enough, and then heard Allen mumble,

"Mana… You're awake?"

Johnny perked up instantly. "Allen?" he asked urgently, all thoughts of Crown Clown gone from his mind. Allen had woken up! Better, the grey was fading from his skin!

"You… are mean," Allen muttered; evidently, Johnny judged, half-excited and half-fond, he was still half asleep. "So are you, Mom!"

"Allen!" Johnny repeated, louder, trying to get Allen to wake entirely.

Finally, Allen opened his eyes; he looked exhausted, Johnny noticed sympathetically. But Johnny was grinning. _His color is healthy again!_

"Allen?" he asked. "It's me! Johnny!" _His color's back! It's back! It's back!_ "Don't you recognize me?" Allen's gaze was strangely empty; he must be worn out after his fight with the Fourteenth.

"Johnny…" Allen mumbled at last, staring at Johnny. "Where am I?"

Johnny passed over the question for the moment, surging forward to hug Allen tightly. "Good, good, good, good!" He could have cried, he was so happy. Allen was okay! Allen was okay!

Finally, he withdrew. Allen stared at him bemusedly while Johnny decided to get Allen some food - he had to be hungry, he always was.

"Remember the akuma attack and feeling under the bridge?" Johnny asked, remembering Allen's question. "You collapsed there. Oh! But don't worry. Kanda took care of the akuma!" Johnny paused as something occurred to him, and then added thoughtfully, "I wonder where he went."

"Timcanpy…" Johnny heard Allen murmur behind him, sounding pleased. Johnny smiled, suppressing a laugh; it was cute, how much Allen loved that little golem.

"I bought lots of sandwiches for when you woke up," he explained, unable to contain his excitement. "Want one?"

"Actually, I'm thirsty," Allen murmured.

"Oh! Right." Johnny perked up, a little embarrassed at his own oversight. "We were running around town! Of course you're thirsty!" He grabbed for the pitcher and poured a glass of water, then turned around, smiling at Allen. "Here!"

At that moment, Allen flinched visibly, for no apparent reason. "Ow!" he yelped, one hand going to his side, where Kanda had stabbed him before. Johnny's expression turned concerned, and he started to reach forward.

A moment later, he jerked back as an invisible force lifted Allen up by the front of his shirt.

Allen's eyes went wide. Johnny's did, too, and he was frozen in place, startled. What-?

"Who _are_ you?" Allen gritted out, right hand clutched around something that, again, Johnny couldn't see. It had to be Crown Clown, or perhaps Mugen, but why…? "What are you _doing?"_ Pause. Allen's expression tightened. "I _don't know what you're saying!"_

An image flashed through Johnny's mind - Allen, laughing at Komui, for no reason that any of those present could've discerned at the time.

 _"Sorry,"_ Allen had said, looking embarrassed by his rudeness but eyes still bright with amusement. _"Innocences don't speak in human words - I can't easily relay what they were saying, and even if you heard them, you probably wouldn't understand. It's a little... strange, if you're not used to it."_

It had immediately, of course, been followed by a flurry of protests, but-

Allen rarely had trouble understanding them. He'd mentioned that.

"Let _go_ of me!" Allen snarled. Johnny's heart dropped, and the glass fell out of his hands to shatter on the floor.

That wasn't Allen. Allen would never wear a look like that.

"F-Fourteenth?" he stuttered.

Allen's eyes shot to his, wide and frustrated and furious- and maybe a little desperate too, Johnny thought, except he was hardly paying any attention because _that wasn't Allen._

Then the Fourteenth's attention was pulled away again as he was dropped, and his wrists, as far as Johnny could tell, were pinned above his head - Johnny hadn't even known Innocence could be this aggressive. Allen had certainly never mentioned it.

 _"Who are you?"_ the Fourteenth repeated. Pause. Johnny's legs refused to support him and his knees folded, bringing him to the ground, staring. _"Why_ are you angry? _Speak English!"_ Pause. Allen's face twisted into a look of frustration. "That doesn't tell me anyth- _Are you crying?"_

"Fourteenth," Johnny repeated, stunned. And then his brain kicked in, the only thing he had on his side, and he cleared his throat. "Um- Fourteenth?"

Allen's head jerked to him, silver eyes meeting his, confused and little irritated. _"What?"_

Johnny pushed himself up and, slowly, forced himself to approach. _That's not Allen,_ he repeated to himself, stunned and scared. _That's not Allen._

But he had to help. He _refused_ to stand by.

"Th-that." He cleared his throat. "That's Allen's… Innocence. I think." This time he paused, for no reason other than to collect his thoughts. Color, from nervousness, mostly, crept across his cheeks. "And… He's probably not real happy about you trying to kill Allen."

"Innocences don't look human," the Fourteenth gritted out, staring at him. He yelped for no readily apparent reason. "Dammit, stop that!"

"Allen can see them," Johnny said haltingly. He swallowed around a lump in his throat. "And since you're in Allen's body, I guess you can too." It was the only thing that makes sense.

Allen's eyes narrowed. "Say I believe you. How do I get it off me?" He yelped again. "I said _stop that!"_ Pause. "Is that a threat?"

"Probably," Johnny said unhelpfully. "Um. Can you get out of Allen?"

"No."

Johnny didn't know what he'd expected.

"Look." The Fourteenth transferred his attention back to the invisible Innocence. "I don't know who you are, where you came from, or what the _hell_ you're saying - but Allen asked for this. He knew what he was getting into." Pause. His eyes narrowed again, with confusion and irritation. "...Is that _Allen as a baby?"_

Then the door slammed open, and the Fourteenth was gone. In his place was Allen, wide-eyed and staring up at that person Johnny couldn't see. In a very small, almost frightened voice, Allen asked,

"Crown Clown? What are you doing?"


	33. Return

Allen stared up, wide-eyed, at Crown Clown, who was braced over him in one of the most aggressive postures Allen had ever seen him take. His green eyes were narrowed in a bitter glare, and tears glistened on his freckled cheeks.

“Crown Clown?” Allen repeated, so uncertain that he was unsure of how to respond. His Innocence’s grip on his wrists was tight enough that he thought the human one might break. As he noticed this, his expression tightened slightly, hiding his pain.

Instantly, Crown Clown’s hands were gone, and instead he was pulling Allen up into a tight hug, close and firm, but far too gentle to hurt.

 _Apology! Relief, fear, gray eyes, gray eyes, anger-fear-worry worry worry, relief, relief, gray eyes._ Slowly, Crown Clown pressed his forehead to Allen’s, eyes shut and breathing slightly labored, as if after a long rant. _Allen as a frightened child, Crown Clown watching over Allen’s sleep, Allen quiet and smiling softly. Relief. Relief. Relief._

Allen tightened his grip instinctively, hugging Crown Clown back. “I’m okay,” he reassured Crown Clown, unsure as to what was going on. “I’m fine.”

Absently, he glanced around the room. Crown Clown’s grip tightened protectively as Allen tensed.

Johnny was standing at arm’s length, looking pale and frightened. Kanda was in the doorway, eyes narrow, and Mugen was already crossing the room toward him with brisk steps. Allen nearly panicked, until he remembered the events right before he had passed out.

But what had happened in the meantime?

Mugen leaned over him, frowning. _Gray eyes? Gold eyes? Gray eyes?_

 _Gray eyes,_ Crown Clown asserted fiercely, forehead scrunching in frustration, and then, reluctantly, he released Allen, allowing the boy to scoot back enough to cross his legs, still very confused. He felt kind of dazed; his mind moved slowly, trying to catch up.

 _Gray eyes, relief,_ Mugen decided, nodding sharply to Allen, who tilted his head. _Apprehension, appreciation, confidence. Encouragement._

Allen stared back at him in confusion, and then swept his gaze across the room again.

Kanda had apparently reached a decision of some sort and was sweeping across the room to sit on the bed beside Allen, hands on his knees, frowning at him.

Johnny’s pallor had faded somewhat, and he asked hesitantly, “Allen?”

Allen’s unease grew. “Yeah.” Then, hesitantly, “...What happened?”

“Allen!” Johnny visibly relaxed, looking delighted, and hurried over to plop beside him. When Allen just continued to stare at him, though, the look faded, and Johnny turned solemn. “You, um…” His gaze flicked away, looking almost guilty. “Ah, the F-Fourteenth…”

Allen’s heart dropped.

The Fourteenth. Always the Fourteenth.

“He was in control,” Johnny finished in a quiet voice. Allen flinched, and Crown Clown’s hand tightened on his arm, both protective and possessive. “For… a little bit.”

Kanda’s eyes widened, and Allen heard his sword clatter to the ground, though his eyes were fixed on Johnny, caught somewhere between horrified, frightened, and upset.

Then he broke his gaze and hunched over, eyes dropping to the ground as he curled in on himself, wishing he could disappear so these things could _stop happening…_ “...Oh.”

 _Stress, dismay. Worry._ Crown Clown’s hand slipped up to squeeze Allen’s wrist gently. _Reassurance._

 _Irritation!_ Mugen countered sharply. _Frustration!_

Crown Clown bristled.

 _Exhaustion!_ Crown Clown snapped back. _Fear!_

 _Persistence-determination-faith,_ Mugen returned, crossing his arms to glare resolutely at both of them.

Crown Clown deflated, one hand rising to press to his forehead. _Resentment. Anger._

Mugen shrugged. _Agreement. Rage._

Johnny’s expression grew more and more worried the longer Allen remained silent, and Kanda’s grew more and more resentful.

Finally, Kanda growled, drawing everyone else’s attention.

“Well, he’s not fucking in control now, is he?” he snapped, voice brittle, the lines of his back and shoulders gone tight and rigid. “No one else can make that goddamn _sulky_ face.”

Mugen nodded tensely. _Agreement. Resentment-defiance._

Allen lifted his head, distracted, expression starting to change from shellshocked and frightened to indignant. Sulky? Sulky, really, Kan-

Before Allen could so much as open his mouth, Kanda plunged his hand into his coat, and when he pulled it out again, Allen froze.

In the palm of Kanda’s hand was a small green cube, the same color as Mugen’s eyes, as Crown Clown’s eyes. This, Kanda shoved at Allen, his expression a mix of resentment and frustration and something very like grief.

“Here,” Kanda said roughly, while Allen was still staring. “Thought you’d want it, you goddamn weirdo.”

“Kanda-” Allen barely caught the Innocence when Kanda dropped it, so confused and off-balance was he. But he still recognized the feeling almost instantly. “Is this- Angel Sword?”

Kanda grunted and nodded once, both without looking. Allen stared at him, startled, until Crown Clown leaned over him, peering at the cube.

 _Concern,_ Crown Clown asserted, after a moment of hesitation. _?_

_…_

Allen stared for a moment, and then a smile broke out across his face. Despite the Fourteenth, despite Kanda’s return, Alma’s death - at least _something_ had gone right.

“She’s okay!” he said, delighted.

_...derision._

Crown Clown stared at her for a moment, and then glanced up at Mugen, raising an eyebrow. _?_

Mugen shrugged. _Dismissiveness. Reluctance, concern. Resentment-worry-trust._

“Is she talking to you?” Johnny asked, looking intensely curious. Allen smiled faintly.

“Sort of. She’s not saying much - I think she’s still tired.” His smile faded. “She might still be sick, too.”

“Sick?” Johnny asked, startled.

_…Rage!_

Allen yelped, and quick as a whip, Mugen’s hand shot out, claiming Angel Sword.

 _Warning!_ Mugen told her sharply.

_Resentment… Pain…!_

_WARNING!_

Allen stared at them for a moment, worried, and then looked away. He found Kanda and Johnny both staring at Angel Sword. Allen tilted his head, confused, and then almost smiled.

“Is… someone holding it?” Johnny asked at last, tentative and clearly fascinated.

“Mugen,” Allen confirmed with a nod. “Angel Sword is still recovering, I think, and very bitter. Mugen’s…” He bit his cheek uncomfortably. “Yelling at her.”

 _Frustration-guilt-anger._ Mugen tossed Angel Sword onto the bed. _!_

Allen looked at him quizzically.

 _Angel Sword’s human form, turned away from Kanda. Bitterness. Screaming at Johnny. Resignation._ He sighed and met Allen’s eyes, his own bright green ones narrowed in frustration. _Allen holding an Innocence cube._

Allen nodded, expression solemn, and reached for the cube.

“Beansprout?” Kanda asked, voice tinged with both annoyance and exasperation.

“Mugen asked me to carry Angel Sword with me,” Allen explained, meeting neither of their gazes.

Kanda grunted. “Crazy beansprout,” he muttered, and Allen almost smiled; it was, for a moment, as if everything was back to normal.

“So!” Johnny broke in, eyes bright. “Where are we going?”

Allen’s heart dropped all over again.

“You can’t come with me,” he argued, levity falling away instantly. “I just-” He swallowed. “I just nearly lost to the Fourteenth! What if he- if I-”

 _Calm,_ Crown Clown said sharply, and then, softer, _Reassurance._

 _Faith,_ Mugen agreed, arms crossed, green gaze unwavering.

And despite his concerns, as Allen saw the light of stubbornness appear in the expressions of both Kanda and Johnny-

He felt warm.

_They came. They came for me._


	34. Superimpose

_! _

Allen’s head jerked up, eyes widening, just as Crown Clown collapsed to his knees, and Allen’s left arm began to feather strangely. At the same time, Angel Sword shuddered in his pocket.

_!? _

Crown Clown raised his head so his green eyes met Allen’s, wide and desperate.

_ Apocryphos’ face with hungry eyes! _

Apocryphos had found them again.

* * *

The second time he emerged in his old friend’s body, it was with a flashback and a cry.

_ “Mana!” _

For a moment, Neah stared blindly ahead, panting slightly, until he finally registered his surroundings - no wheat field, with no Cornelia to speak of, but a broken street, scattered with debris. He swallowed.

“Argh…” He shook his head. “What was that? It was like… Some kind of flashback.” Unbidden, tears burned at his eyes and choked his throat, grief taking its unwanted toll. “Mother… Mana!”

God, but he missed them.

_! _

And there was that Innocence again, standing over him, eyes wide with horror that melted into obvious fury, even as it shook with something like pain. Neah ignored it - he wanted nothing to do with any Innocence, let alone…

...Since when did Allen have an Innocence, anyway?

“You.” Neah looked up sharply, and took in the sight of the large Earl suit, the mockery of the Millennium Earl. “That’s right, you. Ma-Mana. I remember. It’s Mana. Mana… Mana… Mana… Mana… Mana… Mana! Mana is the root of everything!”

...So Mana had lost it completely, after all.

Somehow, Neah wasn’t as surprised as he wished he was.

“Mana D. Campbell,” Mana continued, rambling deliriously. “That’s right, Mana D. Campbell… There was such a man. That man drove Neah and I to kill one another!”

Neah repressed the urge to sigh with pity. Mana had lost himself so thoroughly…

_? _

Neah’s eyes, cloaked with annoyance, flicked over to the Innocence, who was frowning in obvious confusion. At the same time, Neah’s borrowed left arm calmed, and though the Innocence didn’t relax, the lines of pain left its face.

_ The resonance with Apocryphos has stopped,  _ Neah concluded. Good. One less problem to cope with. And he had too many as it was. 

“Well, then - how about a date with the Noahs?” he murmured to himself, ignoring the Innocence as it looked at him sharply, its fists clenching with an obvious desire to throttle him - still, it at least had the sense God gave a goose, for it left him alone while he dealt with… He lifted his eyes to the comical costume and let a vicious smile cross his face. “Nah… Our date here has waited for thirty-five years, after all.”

Mana may have lost his mind, but Neah still had a bone to pick with him.

He let his smile relax, let his arms spread. Mana didn’t remember himself, which meant he had to improvise somewhat. More importantly… he wanted Mana to know  _ exactly  _ why he was being punished. Neah had heard it was cruel to punish those who had no idea what they had done wrong. The fury throbbing in his bones would have to wait.

And that damned Innocence - whoever it was, wherever it had come from, whatever had befallen Allen in his absence - had better not interfere.

“Yo, Millennium Earl.”

The mask of the Earl started to part, and Neah made out the glimmer of teary eyes on the other side. His smile widened slightly.

“It’s me.” Softer, “It’s me.  _ Neah.” _

There was no reason, save perhaps a slight widening of the eyes inside the mask. Neah suppressed a bubbling, genuinely amused laugh.

“We finally meet again.”

And this time, the reaction was everything he had expected, had hoped for. The costume split and fell away, and Mana fairly lunged toward him, accepting the offered hug with a desperation that Neah relished.

“Neah,” Mana whispered, sounding choked and almost as though he was grieving all over again. As though he was losing Neah, and not seeing him for the first time in decades.

Neah struggled to return the hug - not because he missed the human warmth, but because Mana expected it, and he wanted to maintain the illusion for a longer time. It would be that much more satisfying, then, when he ended it - Neah himself did not at all want it. Not at all.

“Neah,” Mana repeated, breathy now, dizzy. “Who betrayed me. Neah… Neah, who tried to destroy me.”

Ah, how grief could skew the memory. Grief and madness.

“Neah… Who I destroyed.”

...Perhaps, then, he did remember.

“I hate you,” Mana nearly sobbed into Neah’s shoulder. “I hate you, Mana’s Neah.”

Neah let the ire and derision fade from his eyes, leaving only pity. Pity he could not help but feel for the man he half-held, pity which was the only feeling that could still stay his wrath.

For a long moment, they stayed like that, and perhaps all of Neah’s attention would have stayed on his once-twin brother, his other half, if it weren’t for-

That damnable Innocence.

_ …! _

Irritation flashed again through Neah’s eyes, and his gaze cut to the Innocence, which stood just within his sight, and he wondered, briefly, what it was yelling about this time.

And then he noticed the wideness of its eyes, and the way it shook, and the look it held as it gazed at Mana.

_ Anguish! Horror! Distress-hysteria-grief! Shock-alarm! Shame-misery-horror! Horror! _

Well, if Mana was going to cause the Innocence this sort of distress, he might have to keep him around. But no sooner had the bitter thought crossed his mind than the Innocence continued, with wide eyes and a more effective distraction than Neah could have possibly anticipated.

Which was why it was so effective, of course.

_ The skeleton of an akuma! Regret and grief! Mana holding the hand of a child Allen! Anguish, horror! Mana smiling at child Allen as he slept! Mana reaching to smooth his hair! Confusion, ANGER! Betrayal! Horror! Child Allen looking at Mana with adoration! Betrayal! Hysteria! _

For once, the Innocence wasn’t paying the least bit of attention to Neah, all of his attention on Mana, and Neah let his brow furrow.

None of that… None of that made any sense. Mana was not that old when Allen was a child. Mana was barely that old  _ now,  _ and he’d never been the parental type anyway, and-

None of that made sense. Neah was missing something. He was missing something very, very important.

_ Frustration! FRUSTRATION! _

Silently, Neah agreed.

And then Mana continued, and Neah’s attention was diverted.

“Why won’t you disappear from my sight?”

And Neah refocused, setting the Allen conundrum aside for a more convenient time.


	35. Seventh Interlude: The Surprise Accommodator

_A shadow of a person, bathed in bright light._  
The shadow flies into another.  
Their eyes glow, and they move.

Most of Tsukikami's seven thousand years had been spent on the road.

Wanderers, nomads, merchants – those were the people he spent most of his time around. He liked it that way; it kept things interesting, and it exposed him to the widest array of people possible. Most Innocences liked to spend a few years scoping out a new accommodator, or they located someone with potential and waited for it to come to fruition.

Not Tsukikami.

Tsukikami was, he had to admit to himself, sort of impulsive. Whimsical, some of the less approving Innocences would say. Tsukikami was okay with that, honestly.

Most of his accommodators, in turn, were people with no homes and no families – no ties to anything except themselves and their own motivations. People without purpose who most often leaped on the first thing that rang true to them.

Tsukikami was perhaps one of the very few Innocences without a 'type' – not for his accommodators, and not for his forms. He took all sorts, always looking for something new, and then gave them the weapon he thought would suit them, their situation, most. After a couple thousand years, he'd gained a knack for matching people to weapons, no matter how creative he had to get with them.

Finding a bitter little boy who turned away friend and foe alike, he became Siren Song, and brought his enemies to him.

Finding an elderly man who defied Death to take him now, he became Eagle Arrow, and let him fight no matter his body's state.

…Perhaps he was a little protective.

But Tsukikami didn't just make do, he turned weaknesses into strengths, nullified setbacks, and made them excel. Sometimes, these were few and far between, and sometimes, he had to really set his mind to it. He enjoyed it either way; the only comfort when he lost an accommodator was the thought of the challenge the next would present.

When he found Timothy, he had been around for something like a week. He'd passed from the hands of a merchant, into the museum, and then was stolen by a thief – the boy's father. He hadn't originally intended to take him as an accommodator; though interesting, Timothy was young and immature, and seemed to have no intention of going anywhere.

That changed very quickly when the father had forced his son to swallow him.

Suddenly, he was surrounded by Timothy – Timothy's anger, Timothy's betrayal, his defiance, his wish for something more.

And he had two options: to let Timothy die, or to synchronize.

In a short amount of time, Tsukikami crafted an idea, formed a solution, and implemented it.

With that, he traveled through Timothy's system and connected with his brain in every way he could safely manage, and, in doing so, reached out and grasped Timothy's soul.

Thus, Divine Possession was primed, ready whenever Timothy was.

There was a side effect.

Even Tsukikami, who strove to experience as much as he could, who had been doing so for seven thousand years, could still be surprised.

* * *

"Who are you?" Timothy asked, at the end of his first night in the orphanage.

Tsukikami blinked, glancing briefly around the empty room. Timothy didn't look up from where he was glaring at the floor, arms crossed tightly against his chest, tense and angry. _Confusion._

"Yeah, you," Timothy snapped, tilting his head to frown up at him. Tsukikami's eyes widened, his heart jumping. "Who're you?"

Tsukikami moved a little to crouch in front of him, and then, tilting his head curiously, replied experimentally, _A shadow of a person, bathed in bright light. The shadow flies into another. Their eyes glow, and they move._

Timothy squinted at him, and then decided, "Whatever."

 _Amusement._ Tsukikami smiled. _Timothy looking at Tsukikami. Curiosity._

Timothy frowned at him, and then looked down again. "I don't know what you're saying half the time," he muttered. "How'd you get here?"

Tsukikami's smile saddened slightly, and he reached up and tapped Timothy's forehead gently.

_"Figures."_

That was apparently all Timothy had to say about that.

* * *

For a while, the two of them merely coexisted – Timothy, most times, didn't openly acknowledge Tsukikami, and Tsukikami, in turn, did not address Timothy. Sometimes he would even forget that Timothy could see him.

Then the orphanage closed down, and Tsukikami felt the same sparks of defiance and fear that he had when Timothy had first been forced to swallow him.

A second later, Timothy asked him for help.

Communicating with Timothy was… difficult. For both of them. They communicated too differently, _thought_ too differently. Still, now that _both_ of them wanted to make it work, they could get past it, and they formulated a plan.

Tsukikami had never been able to _plan_ the first activation before. It was a rather interesting experience.

The first heist went off with only a few (not-so-minor, but rapidly resolved) hitches, and after that, Timothy started to speak to Tsukikami – not in public, of course, which Tsukikami wouldn't have expected of him, but neither was he ignoring the Innocence then.

Tsukikami liked that. The ability to communicate with any ordinary human was something he could easily live without, but sometimes, his inability to communicate with his accommodators was nothing short of depressing.

And so the two of them spoke, and schemed, and sometimes just played with each other. Tsukikami, acutely aware of the false Gs accumulating in the prison (and the attention they would attract), made no mention of the Black Order, letting Timothy stay in place for now.

Timothy, Tsukikami found, was a lot of fun. He was still immature, still unwilling to adjust to change – but he could learn. He _would_ learn.

The Black Order came, eventually, as Tsukikami had known they would, and Timothy reacted exactly as Tsukikami expected. Then came another surprise.

Timothy so trusted Tsukikami's judgement that he would even leave the orphanage for him.

_Warmth._

Allen and Crown Clown were (yet another) pleasant surprise, though Timothy and Tsukikami had not yet had much time to get to know either. (Despite this, Timothy seemed to have become rather attached to Allen especially, which obligated Tsukikami to worry.)

The Order, of course, accepted them, as Tsukikami had expected. What he had _not_ expected was how quickly things would go sour.

* * *

"Tsukikami?" Timothy's voice was unexpectedly soft, almost vulnerable, and it caught Tsukikami's attention instantly.

_?_

Timothy tilted his head up and frowned at Tsukikami, deep furrows of worry in his brow. Tsukikami's face softened, and he reached out to touch Timothy's shoulder, brief and reassuring. Timothy shrugged it off.

"Do you think Allen'll be alright?"

Tsukikami didn't like to lie to Timothy. A small frown crossed his face, and he sighed silently.

_Uncertainty. Hopefulness._

Timothy gave him a dissatisfied look. Tsukikami smiled faintly.

_Allen fighting. Crown Clown looking at Allen. Trust._

"Yeah," Timothy muttered. "I guess."

As long as Timothy stayed here, where it was a little bit safer, Tsukikami was satisfied.

Still, he was worried, too.


	36. Chapter 36

Perhaps Link had set the Fourteenth down somewhat hastily, but he still felt deeply unsettled, though he was reluctant to admit it, even to himself. He set Johnny, unconscious and clearly injured, down more carefully, as well as some distance from the unpredictable Noah.

He hesitated for a moment before he so much as straightened up. Though he had accepted his new task, and all it entailed…

Well. He supposed that he had truly earned the hatred of Walker’s Innocence now. There was a reason, after all, that he was not an exorcist.

He had no morals of his own.

Link would just have to accept that.

“Apologies for the roughness,” he said at last, voice brisk. “It was fairly difficult, holding the Earl in place.” His chest still ached, in that peculiar way it did when he strained his magic, rather than any physical muscle. He straightened up, spell needle still clutched in his hand, and continued, “It won’t hold for long, so we should escape as far as-” He finally found it in himself to glance over at the Fourteenth. “-possible.”

The Fourteenth’s eyes – Walker’s eyes – were wide, his mouth open. And then his mouth twisted into a small, challenging smirk.

“What took you so damn long?” he demanded, eyes gleaming.

The most unnerving part of it, Link mused, was that his ki didn’t even waver.

Also, the Fourteenth, as far as Link knew, had no idea who Link was, nor did he know to expect him, so his behavior made no sense at all. Well, Link would, with luck, find out soon enough.

“Apologies,” Link repeated, deciding to ignore the strange behavior for now. In a moment, he assessed the wound on Walker’s shoulder, and knelt down in front of him, gently pulling the Fourteenth’s hand away to get a better look. He needed to keep the Fourteenth well, and… Though he didn’t want to admit it, he disliked seeing ‘Walker’ injured. (He would have to break himself of that.) “It missed your vital organs, but-”

The Fourteenth jerked away sharply, startling Link, and scowled at him defensively. “Hey, not so goddamn close! You fucking weirdo.”

Link studied him for a moment, and saw the Fourteenth’s expression twitch slightly. Finally, he said plainly, “You need not pretend to be anyone else, Fourteenth.” Though what he was aiming for, Link still had no idea. “Not around me.”

The Fourteenth’s expression twitched again. “What the fuck are you talking about? I’m _Allen,_ you idiot.”

Link’s brow furrowed, and he wondered where the Fourteenth got his information from, because clearly, something had gone wrong along the way. (But it was a relief that he was so far off, because Link was not sure how he would have responded otherwise.)

“Even if I could not sense your ki,” he informed him, “your behavior would give you away immediately. You act nothing like the Allen Walker I know.”

The scowl faded, and before the Fourteenth could respond, Link closed his eyes, hands falling into familiar motions which he could not recall having ever made before, and he murmured,

_“Come out, Atuuda!”_

The creature burst out of him, and his brow furrowed deeper as the strain in his chest increased.

_So this is Atuuda. It’s more difficult than I expected… It feels like I’ll lose consciousness if I don’t concentrate._

It lasted only a moment before the strain faded, and he opened his eyes to find the wound healed.

Good.

He raised his eyes to meet the Fourteenth’s, and found the Noah staring at him with clear surprise. And then his expression turned dark – dark enough that it startled Link, though it matched his ki exactly.

“Huh,” the Fourteenth snorted. “Allen must have changed as the years went by.” A smirk, much more vicious than the first, appeared on his face. “So, tell me. Who are you? And what are you hoping to get out of this?”

Link could not have hoped for a better opening, and yet, his heart fell heavy all over again as he bent to one knee, placing his closed fist on the ground as he bowed to the one who would now hold his leash.

“My name is Howard Link,” he said formally. “My master Leverrier made a secret pact with Cross Marian, and sent me here to protect the Fourteenth.” Even though every part of his being screamed against it. “I’ve been waiting for the past three months for the chance to make contact – not with Allen Walker, but with you.” He raised his head to meet the Fourteenth’s startled eyes. “I am an ally of the new Fourteenth.”

It did not matter what he believed was right. Only what Leverrier did.

“Please use my life as you wish.”

The Noah frowned at him for a moment, and then his gaze shifted aside. His slightly alarmed look shifted into a smirk.

“Well, the Innocence seems to hate you,” he mused. “Maybe you’re worth keeping around just for that.”

A spark of surprise shot through Link – did the Fourteenth, inhabiting Walker’s body, share his ability to see the human forms of Innocences?

Apparently so.

Link settled back on his heels and let his gaze cut to where the Innocence might be, but he felt uneasy looking away from his new charge for long, so he quickly shifted it back. “Crown Clown and I have been at odds for some time,” he explained.

“Crown Clown, huh?” the Fourteenth muttered, with apparently no sense of urgency and no desire to move. Link decided not to force the issue, sensing that it would not end well. “So, are you the reason Allen’s so different?”

Link honestly could not bring himself to believe that Walker had ever behaved the way the Fourteenth seemed to think he should. At the same time that thought occurred to him, he began to wonder what he was going to do if the Fourteenth, like Walker, continued to hold conversations with people he could not see.

“I know you hate me,” the Fourteenth snapped, leaning forward with an intent and distinctly _aggressive_ glint in his eyes. “But you want to know about Mana, right?” Link, unnoticed by the Fourteenth, stilled at the name. The Fourteenth smirked. “Thought so.”

Mana. Now, what did Walker’s loved-and-lost father have to do with anything?

Link had a feeling that he didn’t want to know. At the same time, he thought that he was about to find out.

“First, I want you to tell me one thing.” Pause. The smirk widened. “Glare all you want, it won’t change anything – it’s too late for your _boy._ He doesn’t have long.” A shudder trailed down Link’s spine, and he ignored it. He’d gotten good at that over the years. “Good. Now, in a way I can _understand-_ Tell me. How is it that Allen became a child?”

Pause. Link waited, watching apprehensively.

The Fourteenth frowned.

“I don’t _understand_ you,” he growled, clearly frustrated.

Pause.

Then, without warning, the Fourteenth collapsed.


	37. Peak and Trough

Allen could remember his mindscape, from the times he’d fallen into it through the Fourteenth’s influence. It was something of a wreck, a wasteland – like a fresh ruin just out of the clutches of war. Allen found it grimly amusing, and oddly suitable.

Neah’s mindscape, by contrast, was an endless, lonely wheat field.

At least, Allen assumed that this place was Neah’s mindscape. He’d been wandering it alone for God knew how long, looking for anything, but there was nothing – nothing but a single tree planted in the middle. He named it Cornelia and supposed that that, too, was Neah’s influence.

Then he sat in it and thought.

He couldn’t stay here, obviously. He owed it to Mana to keep walking, to keep fighting – to not abandon the many akuma to their eternities of agony. Even more, he couldn’t leave Neah in his body. He couldn’t imagine what the Noah would do with it. Even so-

It was hard to panic, here. There was something about the atmosphere that was like a wet blanket, lying heavy and quelling over his emotions. He wasn’t scared, just subdued. Reluctant.

Time passed; Allen couldn’t have said whether it was an hour or a day or a week. But then, something pierced the gloom, swathed in Crown Clown’s resonations and delving easily into the forefront of his thoughts.

It was an image. Crystal clear, more vivid and complex than anything Crown Clown had ever said to him before.

_Allen, in his red-and-black Order uniform, crouched down with a devious smirk on his face. Kanda, in front of him, tall and prideful, with Mugen cast aside and his hands balled into fists. Aside, Lavi cheering through a mouthful of apple, and Lenalee smiling, shuffling her feet as if she’d like to join._

Friends.

His friends.

That thought is all he needs for emotion to surge through him, breaking the lethargy that saturated the landscape, and then there was a rush of sensation.

The next thing he knew, he was blinking his eyes open to Crown Clown’s worried face.

 _?_ Crown Clown asked urgently.

Allen blinked, and then smiled hesitantly at Crown Clown, trying to hide the turmoil as the reality of what had just happened set in.

He’d lost again, so soon after the last time. Neah had taken over again.

His smile faded. His heart clenched, his expression tightened, and his eyes burned.

What damage had Neah done this time?

Above him, Crown Clown deflated, and reached out to cup the side of Allen’s face in one hand, expression soft with regret and worry. _Relief. Concern. Assurance, reassurace._

Crown Clown caught Allen’s eye and managed a small – _forced? –_ smile. Allen tilted his head slightly, a different kind of worry taking over – what was wrong, if he hadn’t hurt anyone? Why was Crown Clown-

_“…Walker?”_

Allen’s head jerked around in time to see Link flinching away, and his heart stopped.

 _“…Link?”_ Allen echoed, in almost exactly the same tone Link had just used. A slow, but honest-to-God beam spread across his face, a change of emotion so fast it nearly gave him whiplash. “You’re alive. You’re alive!”

He hadn’t left Link to die, after all.

He launched himself at Link, who flinched again, and hugged him tightly, resting his chin on Link’s shoulder. This time he didn’t bother holding back the tears that trickled down his face; at least they were happy now. “Kanda told me you were dead, I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he sees-”

He felt Link’s hands move slowly from the man’s sides Allen’s shoulders, and smiled with embarrassment as Link pushed at him. He let go easily enough and sat back, but his smile didn’t fade until he saw the look on Link’s face – apprehension and surprise and _guilt._

“…Link?” Allen repeated, head tilted slightly, brow furrowed with concern. He reached up to wipe the tears away, forcing himself to refocus.

Link opened his mouth. “I-”

He closed it.

Allen lowered his arm, brow furrowing further, and then he felt a hand on his shoulder and glanced over questioningly. What had happened? Did Crown Clown know?

Crown Clown’s eyes were stormy, even as the rest of his expression was solemn. He tilted his head slightly toward Link, keeping his eyes on Allen.

 _Allen with grey skin and gold eyes. Link kneeling on the ground before him, a hand over his heart. Allen with pale skin and gray eyes. Link turned away._ Crown Clown dipped his head slightly forward, enough so his hair hid his eyes. _Regret and bitterness-defeat. Bitterness._

Ice crept into Allen’s chest, and before he was consciously aware of his actions, he released Link and scooted back, turning his eyes back on the blond man.

“Oh,” Allen whispered, throat suddenly tight. He swallowed, just to prove he still could.

“I-I’m sorry,” Link answered, eyes on the ground between them, sounding his age for once. “I am here for Neah, Walker. Not… not you.”

He raised his gaze to meet Allen’s. Allen searched his eyes and found sadness and guilt, but also defiance and certainty.

Allen bowed his head, hiding his eyes from Link, and smiled.

“Oh,” he repeated. “Okay. I understand.”

He didn’t understand. He had never understood. He felt cold and his insides ached, but Crown Clown’s hand was steady on his back, and that would last him until they were alone.

“Do you know where Johnny and Kanda are?” he asked without looking up. “I should get back to them.”

_…_

Crown Clown moved his hand from his back to his arm, and gently tugged him up. Allen raised his head to look at him, and Crown Clown pointed. Allen looked where he was indicating, and then gasped, eyes widening.

“Johnny!”

Link remained where he was as Allen nearly tripped over himself heading to Johnny.

Had he hurt Johnny? Was Crown Clown not in time to stop him this time, did-

 _Reassurance. Johnny getting hit by a falling piece of building._ Crown Clown followed and knelt beside him just as Allen did. Allen reached to tilt Johnny’s head forward, fingers gently parting his hair to check on his wound. He blew out a breath, worried.

“He should be fine,” Link said, and Allen nearly started at the sound of his voice, coming from just behind Allen. It was still laden with traces of guilt, and Allen could almost feel the hesitation staying his limbs as he hovered over them both.

But, despite his obvious regret, Allen didn’t want to look at him.

“I…” Link hesitated. “I should go.”

Allen took a deep breath and nodded. “I’ll find Kanda,” he said softly, tears stinging at his eyes again. “We need to get Johnny somewhere safe.”

He glanced over in time to see Link nod, starting to back away.

But he didn’t get far. From where he was on the ground holding Johnny, Allen could see Kanda pulling himself up to their level, but Link couldn’t. As a result, Link bumped straight into him.

“And where the _fuck_ do you think you’re going?”

Kanda’s voice was venomous enough that, even taking into account the fact that he’d never liked Link, Allen thought abruptly that he knew _exactly_ why Link was there.

And he _hadn’t told Allen._


	38. Levels of Certainty

Allen’s skin was crawling, and he felt sick. He wanted out of here.

But that wasn’t an option, _escape_ was not an option, so he chose the next best thing. He picked a fight.

Picking a fight had been Allen’s favorite method of interpersonal problem-solving when he was younger. He still used it occasionally, with Cross and with Kanda, both of whom were equipped to handle it and both of whom were uncomfortable enough with emotions that they wouldn’t act on anything they detected under the anger.

Crown Clown disapproved, but he allowed it anyway. When something really _helped_ Allen, Crown Clown rarely actually discouraged it.

“You know, most people try not to _lie_ about people being _dead!”_ he hissed at Kanda, before a startled Link could respond to Kanda’s words. Behind them, Mugen climbed onto the building and swept a careful eye across the roof, settling briefly on Allen, Johnny, and Link each before focusing on the conversation.

“I thought you’d be a wimp about it,” Kanda said, without taking his eyes off Link. “And look. I was right.”

“Anyone would be upset, _Bakanda!”_ Allen snapped back, not quite able to keep the hurt out of his voice this time. “Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?”

Crown Clown caught on quickly to Allen’s line of thought, and looked sharply at Mugen, who cocked an eyebrow at him, looking not so much defiant as sardonic. At the same time, Kanda snorted.

“I thought I’d leave it up to this guy to tell you.” He frowned at Link. “Obviously he did a bang-up job of it, can’t even tell you he’s alive right.”

“Don’t be a _jerk,_ Kanda!” Allen’s voice rose slightly, and he barely remembered to set Johnny down gently before he stood. “He’s working with the Fourteenth, _nothing_ was going to make that better!”

It was eerie, sometimes, how synchronized Mugen and Kanda could be.

“What?” Kanda snarled, jerking to look at silent Link.

 _Outrage!_ Mugen’s gaze snapped to Link within half a second of Kanda’s, his scowl much less pronounced but his green eyes blazing. _Protectiveness-anger!_

 _Resentment,_ Crown Clown bit out, and shifted to ghost his fingers across Allen’s shoulder. _Defensiveness. Hurt._

“What the _fuck_ does he mean, you’re working for the Fourteenth?” Kanda demanded of Link, hands visibly twitching for his sword. “I fucking _told_ you I’d straight-up kill you if you interfered!”

…Kanda hadn’t known?

Oh.

Allen’s anger broke, which made way for the renewed shock of betrayal. He clenched his fist and took a breath. Crown Clown’s hand shifted again to squeeze his shoulder, and when Allen glanced at him, his expression was stony, unwavering on the combined figure of Kanda and Link, the former still blocking the path of the latter.

Finally, Link spoke.

“I have my orders.” Quiet and rough, but faced with someone other than Allen himself, his gaze was unwavering. “I’m not going to break them. Not even for you.”

“And certainly not for your _charge.”_ Kanda’s voice was scornful, and then, in a flash of unnatural metal, his sword was out, the razor edge pressed to Link’s neck. “Give me _one_ reason why I shouldn’t kill you here, CROW.”

Link met his gaze evenly. “You couldn’t,” he replied, with complete confidence.

Allen saw Kanda’s sword hand twitch, and realized, suddenly, that Kanda wasn’t sure he could at all, even with his sword already in place. Allen made a false start forward, to interfere, but Mugen made a small gesture, eyes on his accommodator, and Allen, trusting his judgement, stopped.

“I can keep you from leaving,” Kanda said, navy eyes cold and steely. “No way I’m trusting you out of my sight now.”

Link held his gaze, still even and confidant, and for a moment, both of them stood like that.

_Link in a CROW uniform. Child Kanda sprawled on the ground, pinned by spell needles. Anger and tension and resentment._

It was so soft Allen barely noticed, but when he processed it, his hand twitched toward his pocket, another false motion. Crown Clown saved him the trouble of breaking the others’ stalemate by replying.

_Agreement. Concern._

_Kanda as a small child. Kanda standing against a horde of akuma,_ Mugen interjected, without taking his gaze off the stalemate. Then, reluctantly, _…Agreement._

Then, finally, Link dipped his head slightly, and his hand travelled up to push Mugen’s weapon form away.

“It would be useful to me to stay,” Link concluded quietly, gaze steady, no smirk of confidence or triumph on his face, nor any look of defeat.

Kanda scowled, evidently agreeing with Link, but didn’t seem willing to change his mind, his eyes suspicious and stormy. He lowered his sword regardless.

“One toe out of line, two-spot,” he warned with ill grace, sheathing his katana. Mugen nodded once, in complete agreement with his accommodator, and relaxed slightly.

Allen relaxed, too, slightly. And then he tensed up all over again, guilt and worry overcoming him in equal measure, and he jerked his head over to look at where Johnny lay, because Allen, like an idiot, had _forgotten_ about him.

Kanda frowned, and then followed his gaze. The next thing Allen knew, Kanda was cursing, hurrying over to Johnny and muttering inaudibly under his breath.

 _?_ Angel Sword sounded confused. Allen had to agree.

He glanced at Mugen, who cocked an eyebrow at him, looking not nearly as surprised. A moment later, Allen recalled child Kanda doing the same thing to Marie – it hadn’t occurred to him that the same trick might still work.

Crown Clown tugged on Allen’s arm, giving him a soft, unreadable look. _Encouragement. Urgency._ Softer, _Concern._

Allen obeyed, moving forward to stand by Kanda, while Mugen and Crown Clown both stood back, lingering in place. Kanda waited until Johnny groaned softly, starting to stir, before he looked up at Allen, gaze dark and as unreadable as Crown Clown’s had been moments before.

“We need to go soon,” he said at last. “That Apo-creep guy is coming.”

“As is the Order,” Link added, making a half-step forward before Kanda shot him a searing glare. After a moment, though, Kanda nodded reluctantly in agreement.

 _Anxiety,_ Angel Sword bit out, sharp and alarmed, and then went quiet again just as quickly. _Reluctance, pain, and regret. Reluctance._

Allen nodded in agreement. “We’ll have to be careful to stay away,” he said quietly. “The Noah are around too.” He wondered where the Earl had gone.

Kanda nodded shortly in understanding, and finally, Johnny opened his eyes, dazed and clearly in pain. Allen tried not to wince, guilt wrapping tight around his chest again.

“Ah… What happened?” Johnny mumbled, reaching up to rub at his head. He took his hand away and blanched. “Ah! Blood!”

“You got hit with a piece of building,” Allen explained, soft. He glanced quickly at Link, and then at Kanda, and then back to Johnny. “I’m sorry, but we need to go. I’ll explain more later, I promise.”

Johnny, sensing the urgency, squinted at him through pain-dazed eyes, then nodded and scrambled to his feet, nearly falling over before, at the same time, Kanda and Allen went to steady him. Kanda withdrew his hand sharply, instead standing himself.

“Do you have an idea, beansprout?” Kanda asked, swift and businesslike. “Or do I have to do everything around here?”

Allen shot him a nasty look, stood up, and took a deep breath.

He hadn’t wanted to do this. It tied him too closely to the Fourteenth, and posed the greatest risk of discovery by the Order. But it was also the best safe place he could find on such short notice, with such close pursuit.

He closed his eyes.

“Where’s Tim?” he asked suddenly, though he didn’t open his eyes.

Silence. Allen felt the door open in front of him, but didn’t move.

“He’s dead,” Kanda said at last, heavy and reluctant. “Apocreep did some shit to him, I don’t know.” A short shift, and Kanda pressed a small pile of what felt like mostly dust into Allen’s right hand, loosely held, and then wrapped Allen’s fingers around it.

Allen’s throat closed up. Tears stung at his eyes, and he lifted both his hands to press Tim’s remains to his chest. Tim, who had been a loyal friend to him for longer than almost any other. Who had been affectionate and friendly, despite…

It was too much. Too _much._ He wanted this day to end. He wanted this to have been a dream.

Without looking back, Allen stepped through the door into the Ark.


	39. Notes of Despair

As soon as they entered the Ark, Allen broke off from the others and went to find a place to be alone.

He felt, through some strange awareness of the Ark and its inhabitants, Link, Kanda, and Johnny enter, the last being supported by Kanda. Mugen appeared beside Allen, startling him, and Allen felt Crown Clown’s grip on his elbow tighten. Allen, though, didn’t look up, his throat tight and his eyes stinging.

 _Tension,_ Crown Clown warned. _?_

Mugen held out his hand. _Innocence cube,_ he explained simply.

 _Agreement._ Angel Sword’s mutter was low and reserved as usual, but it was almost ginger, rather than simply angry.

Allen hesitated, less out of reluctance than curiosity, and Crown Clown explained softly,

_Crown Clown and Allen alone in a room._

Oh. That made sense, and in hindsight, Allen was grateful for Mugen’s thoughtfulness. With one hand, he held the dust that was all that was left of Tim, and with the other, he reached into his pocket and withdrew Angel Sword, and then set her gently into Mugen’s outstretched hand. Mugen nodded at him and took off, returning to his accommodator at a brisk pace.

“Beansprout!” Kanda called, sharp and suspicious and eying the approaching cube with a resigned and irritated expression. “Where the fuck are you going?”

Allen took a deep breath, looked over his shoulder, and smiled at Kanda. “I thought I’d look around,” he said, and his voice didn’t waver.

Kanda’s expression clearly conveyed that he didn’t believe Allen for a moment, but he also didn’t argue, instead turning back and helping Johnny stumble toward a door Allen had long ago marked as an almost-ordinary house. Link kept his gaze on him for a little longer, but clearly didn’t feel comfortable going after him.

That was okay. Allen didn’t really want Link to go after him, either.

When they were out of earshot, Allen said, quietly, to Crown Clown, “Do you think I should put Tim in the piano room?”

The Fourteenth’s room. It was a private place, which sounded good to Allen at the moment anyway, no matter the association with the Fourteenth himself-

And Tim had belonged to the Fourteenth once, too.

Crown Clown, expression solemn, shrugged. _Sorrow,_ he said quietly. _Uncertainty._ Shrug. _Tim fluttering around Allen’s head. Confidence._

“I’ll put him in the piano room,” Allen decided, voice rough. He looked forward, and a door opened in front of him. When he stepped through, it disappeared behind him.

The piano room looked the same as before, save for the mirror, which now held a reflection of a much clearer version of the Fourteenth than the last time – Allen wondered, abruptly, if that was a sign of his much-further-along awakening.

The Fourteenth tracked his movements with sharp eyes and tense shoulders as Allen moved across the room, cradling the dust in his hands, keeping his head down and his breath even.

Tim was dead. Link was working with the Fourteenth, who was slowly encroaching on him more and more. Apocryphos, the Order, and the Noah were all after him, and Johnny had gotten hurt.

Allen wanted to go to sleep and never wake up.

 _Comfort,_ Crown Clown offered softly, no longer touching him but still hovering. _Sorrow. Worry. Comfort._

Allen sighed, and then stopped in front of the piano, held his hands up, and let Tim’s remains fall in a too-small pile on top.

“What… is that?”

Allen stiffened.

 _Aggravation!_ Crown Clown snapped back, though the Fourteenth, of course, did not notice, eyes flickering between Allen and the dust on top of his piano.

Amid all of his clouded thoughts as he’d entered the Ark, Allen had forgotten that, last time he’d been here, the Fourteenth had been able to speak to him through the mirror.

Allen’s breath hitched, anger and resentment and grief mixing up and tangling. “It’s Tim,” he said, voice tight. Then, without looking up and unable to keep himself from speaking, he added, almost too fast to make out, “Kanda said that Apocryphos did something to him, and he… He isn’t regenerating.”

_“…Tim?”_

The Fourteenth’s startled, alarmed, and _dismayed_ tone was enough to make Allen look at him, just making out his defensive posture through tear-glazed eyes. And then the Fourteenth tensed.

“What did you _do?”_ the Noah in the mirror snarled.

“I didn’t do anything to Tim!” Allen snapped, fists tightening. And then he sat down, because his legs would not support him, but Crown Clown remained standing, guarded gaze focused on the Fourteenth for as long as Allen was not watching him. Quieter, he repeated miserably, “I couldn’t do anything _for_ Tim.”

A short silence.

“Who are you?” the Fourteenth demanded at last, voice rough and frustrated. Allen looked up again, reluctantly, dimly aware that he was shaking. “You don’t look like Allen, you’re not old enough. You don’t act like Allen, you’re too _soft_. You don’t know anything Allen did. _Who are you?”_

“I don’t know what you mean,” Allen hissed back, and his fists clenched again. “I don’t know who you’re talking about!”

“How could you _not?”_ the Fourteenth growled, taking a step toward the mirror that almost made Allen flinch back, even though the Fourteenth could not come through. “You’re _him,_ or I wouldn’t have awoken into you!”

“I’m not!” Allen’s voice cracked, and he hated it. “I didn’t even know you existed until Master told me!”

He was too vulnerable, he was revealing too much, but he was cracking under the strain and he desperately wanted to know what was happening, why everything was so horrifically going to hell, because his life had never been easy, but this-

“That’s impossible!” the Fourteenth argued.

Allen opened his mouth to argue back, but Crown Clown caught his attention first, and Allen turned his head to look at him.

 _Confusion,_ Crown Clown warned, disapproval in every line of his face. _Allen with gold eyes, scowling. Allen as a small child. Confusion, recognition._

Allen bit his cheek against the urge to protest that that _didn’t make any sense._ “He’s telling the truth?” That he had, at least, expected Allen to have consented?

Crown Clown shrugged.

Allen felt the tears finally spill over and raised his hands to hide them, half-tangling his fingers in his hair as everything, everything he’d learned today and everything that had happened, rushed up to meet him.

And then he started laughing.


	40. Eighth Interlude: The Secret Scientist

_Justice. The face of the executioner._  
The gates of Heaven and Hell.   
A heart against a feather, a lightning strike, the hand of Fate.

The Black Order was founded in a joint effort between the Vatican and a group of five accommodators. Of the Innocences involved, one had since been destroyed, and two more had been lost to the Order and were back in the world. Left were Judgement, the Innocence of the leading accommodator, and Heaven Compass.

Despite this, he wasn’t often paired with an accommodator – at least, not as often as, say, Mugen. Judgement was rather picky with his partners. They tended to be experienced, intelligent, and cunning, with a bent for breaking the status quo and doing what _they_ think is best.

Consequently, Judgement spent a lot of time with Hevlaska.

When Judgement met Cross, he was a scientist at the Order. He felt the stirrings of synchronization even then, but not enough for anything substantial, so he ignored it.

That was at a time when scientists worked directly with the Innocences more often, and perhaps Cross felt something too, because though the scientist hadn’t known it, he kept picking Judgement out of the lineup.

Cross also, as it turned out, talked to the Innocence as he worked. He worked alone, too far for anyone to hear what he was saying, save the Innocence he worked with. Even so, he only rarely said anything that could be made sense of.

“Something’s not right here,” Cross muttered to him one time, running a scan over the then-nameless Innocence and scribbling something down, a dark scowl in his face. “I mean, I knew that before I came here, but I think it’s worse than we thought.”

Another time, Cross said to him, “Fat lot of good I’m doing here, if they don’t tell the scientists jack shit about what’s going on above.”

A few times, “I’m not doing any good here. This isn’t good enough.”

Once, without any explanation, “There’s no one left. I don’t think any of us knew what we were trying to do.”

Judgement wasn’t sure what Cross’ intentions were, but it wasn’t hard to tell that he’d had ulterior motives for joining the Order. He wasn’t the only one, but this, to Judgement, felt different.

Judgement might have ignored it, though, if the sense of potential synchronization hadn’t stirred each time Cross mentioned it, even tangentially.

Then, one day, the Order was attacked. Specifically, the Science Department.

This wasn’t unheard of, but it was rare. A portal was opened directly into the Order by unknown means, and the Science Department was closed off to the rest of the Order and invaded by Skulls.

The scientists, Cross included, were herded into lines. Cross was in the very first, and Judgement might have taken the time to feel bitter if the potential for synchronization wasn’t rising again. If Cross weren’t glaring so defiantly. If he hadn’t been planning a way out of it already.

One, two, five, eight scientists were struck down before Cross was reached. Cross glared at the Skull balefully as it reached out, touching two fingers to the redheaded scientist’s temple. After a moment, it nodded.

“You’ve got a good brain.”

“Fuck off,” Cross told it, without moving.

“You’ll make a good Skull,” the Skull continued, ignoring him, and moved its fingers to Cross’ forehead.

Cross was too slow in flinching away, and the glow of the Skull’s magic started to encompass his body. He shut his eyes and clenched his jaw, and then, very deliberately, thought,

_I will win. I will end this war. No matter what it takes._

Accompanying the thought was a rush of determination, of anger and frustration and spite – a flood of confidence and defiance.

He reached out, and before Judgement knew it, he was reaching back.

Cross had barely drawn breath to scream before Judgement cast off the spell, and then he was moving. Each of the Skulls in the lab met the same fate, and the casualties of the invasion numbered eight.

Cross was left with an Innocence gun and a cross-shaped scar running down the right side of his face, the intersection positioned directly over his eye.

As an exorcist, Cross had access to – not more, but different information than he had as a scientist. Each new revelation had Cross staying up late into the night, not usually doing much of anything save just staying awake.

Some of them had him writing until the dawn light started pouring into his window; Cross, Judgement learned, had notebooks and notebooks full of writing, all of it in code.

Judgement didn’t think he’d ever had an accommodator he knew less about than he knew Cross, and he couldn’t help but wonder what it was that Cross kept so secret even his Innocence didn’t know about it.

They reached critical point within seven years, record time for Judgement. He suspected that Cross had worked out how to do it intentionally.

Judgement approved.

The instant he was able, Cross hit the road. As an ordinary exorcist, he would disappear during missions for days at a time – sometimes drinking and screwing off, to Judgement’s exasperation and disapproval, but just as often meeting people, gathering information, talking with brothel madams and and smugglers about akuma populations and Noah activity.

He never shared any of this information with the Order, Judgement noted, and still had very little idea what Cross was planning. But he approved, anyway. The Order wasn’t what it should be. Not anymore.

As a general, though, Cross could get away for weeks, months, at a time, doing the same combination of activities at a much higher concentration.

Away from the spying eyes of the Order, Cross was a little looser with his information, but not much. Judgement, always with him and intensely interested in what his accommodator was planning, was likely to only one to work anything out at all.

But he learned that Cross was working against the Order and the Vatican, and, at the same time, against the Noah. He had once had a small set of allies, now all dead, and he was looking for someone named ‘Allen’, without whom the plan could not progress, now that Cross had reached the highest status he was capable of within the Order.

For over a decade, Cross and Judgement travelled, and gathered information, and searched for Allen.

And then they found him, and he was nothing that either of them had expected.

Cross cursed the skies for days.

Judgement, on the other hand, was the closest thing to hopeful that he had been for centuries.


	41. Things Going Wrong

If the piano room’s mirror had worked that way, Neah would have been pressing his palms against the glass by now. As it was, he was practically on top of the border, glaring holes into the other room and willing himself in.

It didn’t work.

The boy was still laughing, threads of hysteria weaving in and out of the sound, and Neah’s eyes were narrow and focused, a deep frown on his face.

Someone, somewhere along the way, had fucked up.

This wasn’t Allen. No matter that ‘Howard Link’ had called him Allen, he wasn’t. Which meant that something had gone terribly wrong.

Where was Cross, dammit?

He’d work that out later. For now, he needed to work with what he had. Setting off memories of Mana had worked so far, and would probably work in the future, but it wouldn’t do to plunge head-first into a situation that had gone so horrifically astray.

He wouldn’t think about Tim, and he wouldn’t look at the pile of ashen dust on his piano.

…The boy had stopped laughing. His hands were propping him up, braced on the bench, and his head was bowed as he panted for breath, his locked elbows quite possibly the only things keeping him from falling over. His head was half-tilted, listening to something that Neah could not hear – probably that damnable Innocence, and he appeared to be half leaning into a touch Neah couldn’t see.

Outside looking in, Neah got a look at the boy whose body he was attempting to possess, one not within the boy’s own mind. He picked out similarities and differences.

The hair color was different, obviously, but the eye color was the same, or it had been last time he’d checked. Some, but not all, of the facial structure was reminiscent of Allen. There were, in fact, some distinct differences – the nose was the same, and so was the chin, but the ears were completely foreign, and his hands were, too.

This was not the Bookman Apprentice who had agreed to host Neah’s memory.

Well, that explained quite a lot.

Neah growled quietly to himself. Where was Allen, then? Had he run away like a coward? Unlikely, but not impossible. And Cross? Had he any idea where Neah would end up? Where was _he,_ damn him? And why hadn’t he looked after Tim?

Why was Neah all alone again?

“You really thought I was someone else?”

The boy’s voice was soft, and when he lifted his head, his eyes were red-rimmed and his expression something much closer to ‘tired’ than ‘apprehensive’.

Neah considered not answering him, and then decided that he had nothing to lose and everything to gain. He was not, at the moment, in the best position.

“Yes,” he said at last. “I’d… arranged…” He gritted his teeth. “To end up in a certain body. Those… _arrangements…_ appear to have been sabotaged somehow.” Though he couldn’t imagine how.

The boy’s smile made Neah frown. That seemed unusual.

“I’d be doing you a favor,” Neah informed the boy tartly, crossing his arms. “I know how the Order treats its exorcists. Death would be a haven in comparison.”

The boy hummed quietly, and his gaze drifted to the side. Neah scowled. Whatever it said, the boy’s smile softened, and he shook his head slightly.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” the boy murmured to the air, and then he stood, crossed the room to stand directly across from Neah, close to the mirror, and did not smile. Neah frowned back, sensing something different in those silver eyes – the boy was shifting gears. “Perhaps it would, but despite that I’m not ready to give up, and neither are you.” _Now_ the boy smiled, with a certainty that was much more alarming than the fatalism of earlier. “Perhaps we can talk for a while, and see if we can come to an arrangement.”

Neah laughed at him. “An arrangement? Boy, there are only two outcomes to this scenario – only one, really. One way or another, I’m coming in and you’re going out.”

“Two,” the boy told him calmly, and lifted his left arm, and pressed his blood-red hand to the glass, fingers splayed. He smiled. “We come to an arrangement, or Crown Clown kills us both.”

“Have you met that Innocence?” Neah demanded, shaking his head once, sharply. “It would never kill you.”

The boy met his gaze evenly. “Are you willing to bet your life on that?”

Neah held it for only a moment before he scowled, jerking his head to the side.

No. No, he really wasn’t. An Innocence, passing up the opportunity to kill a Noah in order to save its accommodator? Ridiculous.

“…What are you proposing?” Neah asked at last, after a very long moment.

The boy’s smile relaxed a little, and he dropped his hand from the glass. “Let’s talk for a while.”

Neah quirked his eyebrows at him, scowling slightly again. “Talk?” he asked skeptically.

“My name is Allen Walker,” the boy explained to him.

The last name, Neah noted, was different. The first name could be a mildly amusing (not really) coincidence.

“Neah,” he returned shortly, when it became clear that the boy wasn’t planning on continuing without Neah’s introduction.

Smile. “Well, Neah- What can you tell me about what’s going on?”

It was a mark of how bad the situation was that Neah was considering telling him anything at all.


	42. First Attempt

He had to do this. He had to, for Mana whom he’d failed, for Link whom he’d neglected, for Tokusa and Madarao whom he’d never tried to understand-

For himself.

Allen stood in front of the mirror, straight-backed and nervous, stomach churning with grief and fear. From the other side, the Fourtee- Neah stared back with visible distaste.

And behind him, Crown Clown paced.

_Frustration. Worry. Anger. Distress. Anxiety. Disagreement-anger. Disagreement. Disagreement!_

_It’s not a bad idea, Crown Clown. You’ll see. This will work._

_It has to._

After a long pause that Allen barely noticed, so preoccupied was he, the Four- Neah finally sighed, mouth twisting into a soft scowl, and asked,

“Do you know a man named Cross Marian?”

Crown Clown whirled around sharply – despite his animosity toward Neah, Allen knew that he was just as desperate for information as Allen was. _Distress-confusion - Cross facing a window? Judgement staring silently at Allen?_

Allen’s heart clenched in agreement. Did Cross have something to do with this? With-

Of course he did. Why else would he know what was going to happen to Allen?

“He’s my master,” Allen said at last, keeping his smile polite and his voice even.

“Of course he is,” Neah scowled. His fists clenched, and Allen watched him turn away for a moment, stepping away from the divide, and just breathe for a few moments before he faced Allen again, golden gaze hard and shoulders tense. “Then what do you know already?”

Allen hesitated, and then he sighed. If they were going to compromise- He had to work with Neah, too.

“You and Mana are brothers,” he said at last. “And Master knew, I think, before he started to train me, that you would one day begin to awaken in me. But I don’t know anything else.”

And he knew that, when – _if –_ Neah did awaken fully, he would be forced to kill someone he loved.

But he didn’t want to tell him that.

“Cross is the same as ever, I see,” Neah muttered. His fists clenched and his teeth ground, and then he visibly forced himself to relax, eyes falling shut and mouth twisting into a harsher scowl. “Listen, boy. Some time ago, I don’t know how long it’s been now, there were four of us. There was me, Mana, your _master-”_ He sneered. Allen might have been offended except, well, it was Master, who usually deserved that. “And a man called Allen, the Bookman Apprentice at that time.”

Crown Clown stilled, behind Allen, and Allen knew he was listening. Allen hoped that meant that he was more willing to compromise than he had indicated previously, because if this was going to work, then Allen needed Crown Clown’s help, too.

Crown Clown had never failed to help him before, but there was a chance. There was always a chance. And even Allen knew that this was pushing Crown Clown to his limit.

Allen always pushed people to their limit.

“We wanted to end the war,” Neah continued, oblivious. “We were young and stupid, didn’t know how hard it’d be, but we worked for it. When we finally realized how much it was going to take, Cross infiltrated the Order, and Allen agreed to host my memory if I died.” Pity flashed across his face. “I don’t know why that didn’t happen.”

“What did Mana do?” Allen asked gingerly, wondering if he really wanted to know and at the same time desperately curious.

Neah’s expression twisted into a look of disgust and something like grief.

“He went mad,” he said dismissively. “He’s the Millennium Earl now, and there is _nothing_ anyone can do about it. I don’t think he even knows who he is anymore.”

Allen couldn’t breathe.

“I’m sorry?” he asked, voice sounding very far away, eyes fixed to Neah’s. He didn’t know what kind of expression he was wearing to make Neah give him that frown, but he didn’t think he wanted to, either.

“Yeah, actually,” Neah muttered, studying him. “Your Innocence showed me some things that didn’t make any sense.” He tilted his head slightly, golden gaze contemplative. “You knew Mana as a child, didn’t you?”

 _Apology._ Crown Clown’s voice was strained and close to breaking. _Apology. Apology._

Allen couldn’t take his eyes off Neah.

“What were you doing with him?” Neah continued, apparently ignoring Allen’s expression. “He’d lost himself, why should he have cared about a human child? And he should have sensed me within you. He should have killed you on sight.”

_Come on, Neah, we’re going to be late!_

My name isn’t Neah, Mana. It’s Allen. Why would you call me Neah. Who’s Neah.

Allen was falling; after a moment he realized it was literal, but Crown Clown caught him before he could hit the ground, and that was the only reason he was guided to a seated position on the ground, slightly haphazard but not unmanageable, rather than collapsing entirely.

He was still staring at Neah, who had stopped speaking to stare at him with a furrowed brow, arms crossed, nothing but a lack of understanding and a hint of frustration on his face.

“Aren’t we supposed to be working out an _agreement?”_ Neah snapped, audibly unnerved.

Allen barely noticed.

Mana was the Earl.

Mana was _the Earl –_ the same Earl who led the Noah, who called Allen a ‘thorn in his side’, who had hurt so many people and so many of Allen’s friends.

The same Earl whom Allen had spoken to, in order to turn Mana into an akuma.

Allen didn’t understand.

He stared at Neah until Crown Clown pulled him into a hug, shaking as Allen remained still, murmuring _regret, sorrow, comfort, grief, apology, sorrow, dismay, worry, comfort, comfort, desperation, supplication, comfort-_

But Allen didn’t respond.

Crown Clown was crying.


	43. Disharmony

It was Kanda who first noticed how long Allen had been gone for, who first became suspicious, but it was Link who went looking, searching aimlessly through the maze of snow-white buildings, virtually undistinguishable from one another were it not for the notes on the doors.

Guilt still ate at his heart, but worry almost overwhelmed it. What trouble could Allen have gotten into in here, at the heart of the Ark he controlled?

Was it Neah? Would he have to again pretend to be unbothered? Pretend that he didn’t cringe inside every time Neah scowled with Allen’s face?

 _Never mind that,_ Link told himself sternly, even as he continued to search. _If it comes to such measures, I will do it without complaint. Director Leverrier has not led me wrong yet._

Helplessness and frustration pulled him two ways, a conflict the likes of which had plagued him since he’d first come to care for Allen Walker, worse now than ever. The first ‘suspect’ who had ever gotten to him, and he could do nothing for him. Not without-

It was a surprise when a door suddenly opened, off to one side but quite close to him. He turned on it and stared for a moment, wary, and then flexed his wrist, checking for his hidden blade. Satisfied, he took a chance and walked through the door.

Inside, he found himself surprised again. There was a piano in the room, he noticed, and a large, long mirror along one wall, in which Neah could be seen, looking frustrated and alarmed. Link followed his gaze to Allen, who was on his knees; Link couldn’t see his face, but he was listing in a way that shouldn’t allow him to stay upright at all.

Something was wrong.

Then Link noticed that Neah had transferred his gaze to him, and he was still scowling.

“You promised to help me, did you not?” Neah snapped, and Link tore his eyes away from Allen to give him a slow, cautious nod. “Then do something about him!” The mirror-bound Noah waved imperiously to Allen and then muttered, under his breath, “He’s creeping me out.”

 _Creeping you out?_ Link wondered, and warily approached Allen, circling around at approximately the same distance Allen had been attempting to keep between them since he had discovered Link’s…

Technically, Link supposed that he could not betray Allen, given that he’d had no obligation to the boy in the first place – but it still felt like one to him.

Then he looked at Allen’s face, and forgot what he’d been thinking about.

Early on, Link had been suspicious of the fact that Allen never seemed to break. Eventually, he’d come to accept it as a fact of life; either Allen had already been broken (unlikely) or his breaking point was simply too far to be reached by even the stress upon stress that had been piled upon him since Link met him.

Having found Allen’s breaking point, Link wished nothing more than to never see such a look on Allen’s face again.

He looked back at Neah, the only currently available source of information, and found him scowling almost accusingly at Allen again, looking thoroughly unnerved.

“What happened?” he heard himself ask, reluctant to approach Allen when he knew how little the exorcist wanted to do with him, and yet worried enough that he wanted to anyway.

“I don’t _know!”_ Neah snapped, arms crossed, taking a half-step back and rocking restlessly for a half-second. “Does it matter? You know him, do something about this!”

Link thought that Neah was very unreasonable and made the decision to approach Allen regardless. Link saw the boy shift into a more upright position, but suspected, somehow, that it was not his own doing.

“Walker,” Link called hesitantly, kneeling a foot or so in front of him. Allen didn’t react, staring fixedly at the ground, perfectly, unnaturally still. “Walker, look at me.”

Nothing.

Link grimaced, rolled one shoulder uncomfortably, and reached out, hesitantly touching Allen on the shoulder.

Allen shivered and pulled away. That was an improvement.

Link withdrew his hand and looked at Neah again. The Noah was studying them, scowl melted into a deep frown. “What were you saying right before he…” Link trailed off and hoped that it hadn’t been Allen’s Innocence that set him off – not that he had a clear idea of what could have driven Allen to this state, but…

Allen had always been more vulnerable to emotional attack than physical. That had been something Link learned very early on. (He actually cared so little about physical attacks that Link was concerned about his mental health.)

Neah scowled at him, and scowled, and didn’t answer for so long that Link almost gave up on receiving an answer before the man finally spoke.

“I was telling him what became of my brother, Mana,” Neah snapped, clearly irate. “And then he just-” Neah waved at Allen.

Link felt his heart drop and had to remind himself that anything that hurt Allen helped Neah, helped the Cause.

…Come to that, why was Neah trying to get him to wake Allen up at all?

Instead of asking that question, as he wanted to, Link explained, “Mana was his father. What happened?”

Neah stared at him, disbelief clear in his eyes.

“Is there anyone who _didn’t_ have a hand in this boy’s making?” he demanded. “Why was I the last to know?”

Unable to answer that – and, in fact, very confused as to what Neah was referring to – Link asked haltingly, “Is this not what you wanted?” In a manner of speaking.

Neah scowled. “Don’t question me,” he snapped, and then, “His Innocence will kill me if I take him over entirely. He needs to be awake for us to come to an…” He clenched his jaw. _“Agreement.”_ He shook his head, once, sharply. “I don’t think it would be very understanding if I drove him comatose and then used that as an opening. And I am _not_ waiting to wake up again.”

Link doubted very much that Allen’s Innocence would actually kill him for any reason, but perhaps, maybe, it was outside mission parameters for him to be required to inform Neah of that.

Yes, of course.

“I’ll take him back,” he heard himself say; he knew from experience that he was fully capable of carrying Allen if he was unable to walk by himself. “He’ll return when he’s able; Kanda or Johnny may have an idea of what to do.” A shot in the dark. “This was his idea, wasn’t it?”

Neah shot him a suspicious look, and then nodded reluctantly.

“Get him back here soon,” he ordered. “I want this over and done with.”

Fair enough. Link would be impatient too, if he was attempting to save the world singlehandedly.

Still, it was unsettling to be so unsure as to whether or not to be pleased that the ultimate decision had been postponed.


	44. Chapter 44

Frustration, worry, and fear curled together to sit heavily in the pit of Crown Clown’s stomach and tighten around his chest. He kept his hand on Allen’s back and his eyes on his face, a soft litany constantly streaming from him to his accommodator.

_Reassurance, worry, comfort, certainty, confidence, worry, reassurance-_

It had been six years since he’d seen Allen in this state, no time at all to him, and he never thought he’d see it again. He’d never wanted to, scarcely even considered the possibility.

He regretted ever letting Mana Walker take his Allen.

Allen’s expression had faded into a dull, listless stare, Allen’s gaze fallen to the ground and likely sightless, and he was shivering almost unnoticeably. Crown Clown was, in all honesty, a little surprised that he was even walking, but it at least gave him a little hope that- that this wouldn’t be like last time.

Link was leading Allen with a hand on his elbow, and Crown Clown couldn’t even spare the attention to shoot him an unseen glare.

Crown Clown took a deep breath and shifted his hand up to curl around the back of Allen’s neck, his green eyes searching Allen’s expression for anything, anything at all.

This had happened, with some of Crown Clown’s accommodators – he’d always been more inclined toward the kindhearted sort, who fought for their friends or their family or for the ambiguous notion of ‘the right thing’, and while he wouldn’t say they were more prone to breaking, sometimes the life of battle he put them up to wasn’t right. And they broke, and most of them… didn’t get better.

Crown Clown didn’t want that for Allen. He never had. But he couldn’t fault Allen for it.

He could fault _himself,_ for being unable to protect his accommodator – from the Noah within him, from the Noah who _raised_ him, even from the machinations of the Order who collected him and then threw him away. But it wouldn’t help.

So instead he breathed, he kept his incorporeal hand on his accommodator, and he thought of what he could possibly do but wait. He was thousands of years old. Surely he could think of _something._

_?!_

He looked up at Mugen’s sharp exclamation, and found the Innocence pacing toward them, passing his irate accommodator. Mugen’s gaze flicked over Allen, his arms crossed, and he focused on Crown Clown, a deep frown slashing across his face.

 _?!_ he repeated.

Crown Clown squeezed slightly, lifting his gaze to Mugen’s. _A shattered mirror lying in glittering pieces._

 _Irritation,_ Mugen snapped, one fist clenching and the other hand waving at Allen impatiently. _Dissatisfaction! Alarm-wariness!_

Crown Clown clenched his fist and met Mugen’s glare with his own. _Impatience,_ he replied sharply. Mugen should know this as well as he did – this is what happened, sometimes, when you pushed too far. _Aggravation!_

“What did you _do?”_

Kanda’s harsh voice broke into their conversation, and Crown Clown turned his gaze from Mugen onto him. Kanda looked furious, of course, and more than a little disturbed; Crown Clown followed his gaze to Allen and felt his own anger leave him, his chest tightening enough that he lost his breath all over again.

He knew Allen’s strength, intimately, and he knew what it took to do this. And he hated it.

He resented it, and all who had contributed to it – Mana Walker, Howard Link, Cross Marian, _Neah Campbell –_ all of them. Bitterly and selfishly, he resented them, even as he knew that if his accommodator recovered, Allen would forgive them, and so, then, would Crown Clown.

“I did _not_ do anything,” Link said sharply, his hand tightening slightly over Allen’s forearm. “I went looking for him and found him as he is now; I understand he learned some things that…” The irritation faded away, and a more conflicted, upset expression overtook it. “…Upset him.”

 _“Upset,_ shit,” Kanda snapped, fury not giving way just yet. “That isn’t _upset,_ fuckwad. I don’t even know _what_ to call that.” And then, “Let the fuck go of him.”

Link released Allen’s arm and stepped away, head jerking aside with a half-guilty scowl, and Crown Clown watched Kanda storm up to Allen and glare into his eyes.

“Hey, idiot beansprout. Look at me.”

Allen, of course, didn’t even notice. His head stayed down, his eyes stayed dull, his body hunched in on itself as if to disappear. Kanda’s scowl deepened.

“Dumbass! You owe me an explanation!”

Crown Clown turned his head away, and found Mugen frowning at the tableau, arms crossed and scowl more thoughtful than irate.

Kanda poked Allen in the chest, and when Allen didn’t react, he started looking more panicked than irate.

“Hey! Get your useless mind back where it belongs!” Pause. “I’ll tell Johnny and he’ll cry all over you!” Pause. “Your weird Innocence is probably crying all over you anyway!”

…Well, Crown Clown appreciated the attempt.

“Fuck,” Kanda muttered, and spun so that he was no longer facing Allen, lifting one hand to grind the palm against his forehead. And then, to nothing in particular, “If any of you have any bright ideas, now is probably the time. I’m not fucking joking, we don’t want Johnny to see this.” Kanda swallowed. “’Cause he sure as shit wouldn’t forget it.”

Crown Clown started and glanced at Mugen, who was nodding, expression turning somewhat grim, and then the last one Crown Clown would have expected to participate in the conversation _did._

_& #^%@_

It wasn’t a feeling easily described in words, but Crown Clown recognized it.

Angel Sword’s contribution to the conversation was an intense, primal feeling, something between feral rage, the thrill of battle, and the deep-seated need to survive.

And Allen twitched. Crown Clown’s head jerked to look at him, wide-eyed, and found that Allen had lifted his arms, wrapping them around himself as if cold, still shaking, still staring – but he’d moved. Kanda, turned away, didn’t notice, but Link, still looking, went just as wide-eyed as Crown Clown, standing up straight and startled.

 _Shock, hope,_ Crown Clown whispered, and then, _Desperation- Angel Sword-_

 _& #^%@ _Angel Sword repeated, more powerful, more sure, more fierce.

Allen took a short, shuddering breath, so different from the slow, deep, even ones he’d been taking so far, and shook his head slightly.

_& #^%@!_

Allen crumpled, and Crown Clown experienced a moment of heart-stopping fear, wondering if Angel Sword’s emotional jump-start – he’d recognized it for what it was, after a moment, something that might not work on everybody but might work for the sort of people who could synchronize, for Allen – had done more harm than good.

Then he lifted his head, slowly, and met Crown Clown’s eyes – his expression was broken in a different way, a way that tore at Crown Clown’s heart as much as it filled him with relief, and in a small voice, he asked,

“Crown Clown? Is Mana really…” He trailed off.

Crown Clown took a deep breath, sank down to his knees in front of his accommodator, and nodded.

Allen’s eyes dimmed, but the light didn’t disappear, and he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Crown Clown, head falling to his shoulder so silent tears soaked into the Innocence’s jacket.

Crown Clown hugged him back, staying silent, and wished that any amount of experience could have prepared him for this.

 _Gratitude,_ Mugen said to Angel Sword, and Angel Sword remained silent in Kanda’s pocket.

Both humans, Crown Clown noticed, had turned away, just for the moment

 _Gratitude,_ Crown Clown echoed.

“I don’t know what to do,” Allen murmured to Crown Clown, hands squeezing into his jacket.

 _Resilience,_ Crown Clown replied, with nothing better to offer.

Allen took another harsh breath, at least half sob.

But then he said, “Okay,” and let go, and he stood up, wiping at his eyes.

And Crown Clown felt as proud as he did worried.


	45. Chapter 45

When Allen finally came back to himself, he was back in the main body of the Ark, with Crown Clown in front of him, Kanda and Mugen to one side, and Link lurking just out of sight.

He felt wrung-out and shaky, nauseous with stress and still a little dazed from shock and lingering horror.

Standing up to glance around, he swallowed all of this and turned his gaze on Kanda, who was standing with his back turned and his arms crossed. He glanced around a little more – Crown Clown had stood up after him and looked relieved enough to make Allen guilty, and Mugen was staring at him intently, clearly judging whether or not he was fit to do anything at the moment.

Allen took a moment to assess himself – worn but intact, had probably just shattered any hope he’d ever had of appearing remotely stable to anyone who’d seen him like that – and called hesitantly, “Kanda?”

There was a pause, and Kanda exhaled, long and harsh. Then he spun around and fixed Allen with an intense glare, on that made Allen freeze, though in surprise more than fear.

“What the fuck?” Kanda snarled, fists clenched, making a false move toward him before he stopped short, nearly shaking with rage. “What the _fuck_ was that, beansprout?”

Allen bristled, Kanda grating on his frayed edges as he always did. “None of your concern,” he said sharply.

“I think it fucking is, if you’re planning to make a habit of it!” Kanda snapped back. “For fuck’s sake, beansprout, I was right in your goddamn face and you didn’t even _notice._ Fuck, are you a zombie or an exorcist?”

Off to the side, Crown Clown cast Mugen a sharp glance, because Crown Clown tended to hold Mugen personally responsible for most of Kanda’s offenses. Mugen crossed his arms and glowered back.

 _Agreement,_ Mugen sniped, clearly a little frazzled himself. _Worry-frustration and empty silver eyes._

Allen was dimly aware of Link watching just out of sight, but his attention was on Kanda, and the frustration boiling in his gut – not just at Kanda, but with himself and the situation and _everything else_ as well.

Today had been a very bad day, and it wasn’t getting better.

“Beansprout!” Kanda snapped, and Allen’s attention, starting to drift, snapped back to him. “Fucking hell, you’re ridiculous.”

 _Irritation,_ Crown Clown announced, stepping in, and, looking at Allen, continued firmly, _Neah in the mirror, Link leading Allen away. Wariness, reluctance- acceptance. ?_

Allen flinched slightly, unable to help himself; he really, really wasn’t ready to face Neah again, not today.

But soon. Very soon. This was important.

“Tomorrow,” he said decisively, grateful that his reluctance didn’t carry over to his voice. He took a deep breath, forcibly centered himself, and looked back at Kanda. “Did anything happen while I was… gone?”

Kanda snorted, shook his head, and, finally, answered, “Not a damn thing. Johnny’s asleep. We were waiting ‘til you got back to figure some shit or other out.” He studied Allen for a moment longer, then sighed and demanded, “Are you going to do… _that_ again?”

Allen was duly amused that Kanda couldn’t even seem to find a word for Allen’s earlier state of mind. “I don’t intend on it, no.”

“Good.” Kanda reached into his pocket and thrust Angel Sword. “Take it- fuck. Her. You’re both unstable, right? Fucking deserve each other.”

Allen smiled at that, increasingly amused, and Kanda gave him a disturbed look (identical to Mugen’s, actually) before stuffing his hands back into his pockets with a scowl.

Allen cradled Angel Sword in his hands and looked down at her for a moment. He sighed softly. “Hello again, Angel Sword,” he said quietly, not really expecting a response. He got one anyway.

_?_

Angel Sword’s query surprised him a little, and then he smiled wearily.

Crown Clown touched his shoulder to get his attention and Allen glanced up at him inquisitively. Crown Clown explained, _Empty silver eyes. Angel Sword. Appreciation._

It took Allen a moment, but then he blinked and smiled tiredly down at Angel Sword. “Oh. Thank you very much, Angel Sword.” A moment of hesitation, and then he added, “I’m sorry it was necessary.”

 _Dissatisfactiondismissal,_ Angel Sword mumbled. _Kanda holding her, irritation, unsettlement. Dislike._

Allen grimaced a little, then closed his fingers around her. “I’ll try to make sure it’s not necessary again,” he promised quietly, not glancing up at Kanda, who was staring at him a little too intently – Allen only hoped that he wouldn’t be able to pick up the context of the conversation well enough with only Allen’s words to go on.

Reluctantly, Allen tucked Angel Sword away again, and Angel Sword did not object. He was a little concerned about her – she seemed to spend an awful lot of time simply brooding over all that had happened – but he’d wait to talk to her about it. After all, she was more than entitled to a little brooding time. Certainly Kanda had taken more than enough.

He lifted his gaze to Kanda again, and half-winced when he saw that Kanda was frowning, a more thoughtful look than he was used to seeing on him, still distinctly displeased.

Still, Allen took a breath, smiled, and said quietly, “It’s been a long day. We should probably check on Johnny and turn in for the night. In the morning, I’ll finish what I went to do and then we can figure out what to do next. Okay?”

Kanda frowned at him, mind evidently turning from whatever thoughts had occupied it before back onto Allen, which was… not where Allen wanted his mind to linger, probably. “What. Happened?” Kanda repeated, enunciating each word in a way that was borderline patronizing.

Instead of bristling, this time, Allen looked away, started walking, and seriously considered not answering,

 _Commiseration,_ Crown Clown murmured to him, and Allen sighed for what felt like the thousandth time.

“Neah told me something that I…” He swallowed. “Really wasn’t prepared to hear. It won’t happen again.” _Please don’t ask me to elaborate._

Kanda frowned at him a moment longer, and then nodded once, turned aside, and said, “I’m going to find Two-Spot. I want him where I can damn well see him.”

Allen half-smiled. “You do that,” he said wryly. “I’ll…” His smile flickered. “I’ll go find Johnny.”

Kanda nodded once, and they parted ways again.


	46. Chapter 46

Allen slipped out early the next morning with renewed determination. His chest ached and his throat was sore, and it was strangely easy to become distracted – but he had to do this.

No matter what it took, he would move forward – if not for Mana, then for his friends. He would move forward.

Crown Clown was quiet, and Allen knew his Innocence was keeping a worried eye on him. He was grateful for his silent support, and more so that he was willing to let Allen compromise with a Noah; he knew there were other Innocences who were more black-and-white in their view of the Holy War, who would condemn him for his decision.

Then again, those Innocences did not care for the akuma as Crown Clown did.

He made his way silently back to the piano room, one hand curled around Angel Sword in his pocket. Angel Sword, too, was silent as usual, and he spared a moment to worry before he was distracted by the appearance of the door.

Allen took a deep breath, and then stepped through.

Inside, Neah was already watching him, golden gaze sharp and wary. Allen offered him a faint smile and crossed the room, the door disappearing behind him.

He was caught briefly off-guard by the pile of ash on top of the piano, crumbly and innocuous. His chest constricted briefly, and he shut his burning eyes. Blindly, he reached up and cupped one hand over the pile, and wordlessly, he apologized again to Tim.

He was going to miss Tim, so much.

“Are you ready to listen this time, or are you going to do your creepy staring thing again?”

Neah’s harsh voice broke him from his hazy moment of grief, and he grimaced, took his hand away, and turned around to give Neah another instinctive smile, sitting on the bench. Crown Clown hovered some yards away, keeping his gaze on Neah; it was a reassurance Allen appreciated, even knowing there wasn’t much his Innocence could do at the moment.

“I’m sorry about that,” he replied instead of answering, wry. “I really wasn’t prepared to hear… that.”

Neah grunted. “Howard Link told me that Mana was your father,” he informed Allen, doubt coloring his voice as clearly as if he’d stated it.

Allen winced and nodded his confirmation. “He was,” he said, when he was sure he could. “But I suppose I didn’t know that much about him, anyway.” He laughed and pretended it sounded fine, no matter the disturbed look Neah gave him. “You were explaining what happened before…?”

“No,” Neah interrupted, glowering. “You’re going to explain about Mana. I don’t care if you don’t know exactly what was happening, tell me what you know.”

Anger flared briefly in Allen’s chest, and he squashed it down even as Crown Clown matched it. It wouldn’t help him now.

 _Curiosity,_ Angel Sword prodded unexpectedly. _Impatience - ?_

Allen reached down to place his hand over Angel Sword again, startled, and then sighed; it was early morning and he felt tired again already.

“I’m not joking when I say that I don’t know really anything at all,” Allen said at last, voice strained, eyes on Neah. “If I tell you this, you have to tell me what you know about-” Well, how he’d ended up in Allen’s body didn’t really matter now, since it _had_ happened. “-about how to end the War. How you intend to.”

Neah nodded shortly, arms crossed.

Allen took a deep breath and clamped down on the rising tide of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him.

“I was born normally,” Allen said at last, quietly. “I know that much, because Crown Clown has been with me since the beginning.” He managed a small smile to Crown Clown, and in answer, the corner of the ethereal boy’s mouth turned up. “I didn’t meet Mana at all until I was seven.”

Allen hesitated, his throat closing up. After a moment, Neah gestured impatiently for him to go on. He did.

“Mana seemed human to me, just…” He hated admitting this to anyone. “Unstable.”

He paused again, and Neah nodded grudgingly.

“He became less and less aware as time went on,” Neah conceded. “It doesn’t surprise me that that didn’t change even after he became the Earl.”

Allen nodded. “Some days he was fine, and he seemed fully aware of what I, at least, knew as the truth, which is to say, that he knew that he was a travelling clown, and that I was a boy he’d adopted.” Pause, but Neah didn’t interject this time, just gave him an impatient look. Crown Clown was scowling. Allen smiled. “Some days he thought I was you, and he was seventeen again, or younger, sometimes.” Some days he’d even thought Allen was his old dog, but Allen didn’t see a need to mention that.

Neah’s frown deepened slightly. “Really,” he said dubiously.

Allen shrugged uncomfortably. “He taught me the score, too,” he threw out, because that was probably important. “But that was… really it. I didn’t realize that he had anything to do with the Holy War until Master told me, around six months ago.”

“Right.” Neah nodded to himself, scowled, and started to pace back and forth, rubbing at his forehead, looking almost as frustrated as Allen felt. After a moment, he whirled on Allen. “Fine. So Mana’s mind went even _more_ to shit, and that’s why he didn’t kill you. Right?”

…Was that why? Was that the only reason? Was Mana’s madness the only thing that had kept Allen alive as a child?

“Right?” Neah repeated, louder, and Allen started, found Crown Clown much closer than he had been, and winced. Crown Clown saw his eyes focus, relaxed, and backed away again with a nod to Neah.

 _Encouragement,_ Crown Clown reminded Allen quietly. _Persistence. Certainty, confidence, desperation. Determination._

Allen nodded back. “I know,” he answered, and looked at Neah. “That’s all I know,” he said firmly. “Now it’s your turn.”

Neah’s mouth twisted into a scowl, but he nodded grudgingly.

“Now it’s my turn,” he conceded.


	47. Chapter 47

“The Heart is the key to all of this,” Neah explained to Allen.

“I actually picked that up along the way,” Allen replied almost instantly, dry and ironic. Neah scowled at him, but Crown Clown smiled, a flickering thing that was there and gone.

“You aren’t clever,” Neah snapped. “The point is, the Heart is powerful. It can destroy all of the Innocences, yes, but if it’s invoked in the right way, by the Millennium Earl, it can destroy all of the Noah as well.”

“That’s why you want to be the Earl,” Allen realized, gaze sharpening slightly with the realization. Neah nodded.

“Exactly. Only the Earl and the Heart, together, can end this war.”

Allen glanced at Crown Clown for confirmation, but to his surprise, he just shrugged.

 _Uncertainty,_ Crown Clown admitted. _Confidence-worry, Neah’s serious face in the mirror._

“Do you know where it is?” Allen asked, hardly daring to hope.

But of course, Neah shook his head.

“No one knows,” he replied tersely. “Cross was supposed to find out if the Order knew, but if he ever found out, obviously he can’t tell us.” Then, under his breath, “Fool.”

Allen hid a smile, eyes softening slightly. _A fool indeed._ A few seconds later, a nudge from Crown Clown made him refocus as Neah continued speaking.

“Apocryphos is probably a clue, if we can get it to cough it up, which is unlikely but not impossible.” Neah frowned. “Though the effect it has on _your_ Innocence will be problematic at best.”

Crown Clown grimaced. _Apology-worry,_ he told Allen. _Confidence-certainty._

Allen cast him a brief, reassuring smile. “We’ll work something out,” he said confidently, to both Crown Clown and Neah, the latter of whom rolled his eyes.

“Sure you will,” he said dubiously. “Anyway, I need your body to become the Millennium Earl, since obviously _you_ can’t. Follow?”

“How does one become the Earl?” Allen asked, distracted.

Neah scowled briefly. “If I can destroy the Earl inside Mana,” he said, after a moment, “Or… Mana himself, that will leave the space open, and I have enough of the former Earl in me that I will most certainly become the Earl next.”

Allen considered that for a moment. His heart thudded in his chest, but it was distant, as almost everything was at the moment distant. “How do you know you won’t go mad? Like-” Like Mana had.

Neah scowled at him, then sighed.

“I don’t,” he admitted grudgingly. “But it’s the best chance we have, and I’m confident that I can invoke the Heart before I lose myself.” He eyed Allen dubiously for a moment. “Though I don’t know how your Innocence will affect things – or _you,_ for that matter, if I can’t get rid of you.”

Allen hesitated again, thinking, slow and careful. “But what about before that?” he asked at last.

“Before what?” Neah demanded almost instantly.

“Before you need to become the Earl and invoke the Heart,” Allen clarified. “While we’re locating the Heart.”

“What about it?” Neah half-growled, reaching up to scratch his head with a frustrated, irate expression.

“Do you need to be in control then?” Allen pressed, rocking forward a little. Crown Clown sat up, eyes sharp, and then, after a moment, smiled, slight and approving.

 _Pride,_ he told Allen quietly. _Confidence._

“No…” Neah said cautiously. “I suppose not.”

“And the only reason you’re so set on having my body is to become the Earl?” Allen asked.

“It’s not the _only_ reason,” Neah snorted, shaking his head. “Don’t be stupid. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but this needs to be done _right.”_

“But you can supervise, can’t you?” Allen pushed, voice quick and almost shaking with mixed anxiety and hope. “You can watch while I’m in control.”

“…Theoretically.”

Allen smiled, and his eyes were a little brighter. “What about this? You let me stay in control most of the time, but you can interfere if you think I’m going to mess up irreparably. When it comes time to-” He faltered, briefly, but forged on, determined and breathless, “-to become the Earl and use the Heart, you can take control for sure, and do whatever you need to. And then after that, we can talk again.”

Crown Clown stood up straight and whirled on Allen. His eyes were wide, but then his expression softened a little, equal parts worried and wary, and nodded slightly to him. _Worry, resignation. Agreement. Pride._

Allen relaxed a little. If Crown Clown thought it was a good idea, then, one way or another – Allen was much more sure that it was.

“After that?” Neah snorted, and to Allen’s surprise, he sounded bitter. “All my friends are dead, you realize. I have…” He spread his arms slightly. “Nothing to live for but revenge – nothing to save but the world. If we both survive this, you can have your damn body.”

Allen smiled, relief whispering at the edges of his mind. “Deal?” he asked hopefully.

“Deal,” Neah said resignedly, shaking his head. “You better _damn_ well hope you know what you’re doing, exorcist.”

He still sounded bitter.

 _Now,_ Allen thought, _all I have to do is survive until the end of the world._

Well. It wasn’t really any more unlikely than he’d once thought reaching the age of fifteen would be.


	48. Chapter 48

“Johnny!” Allen smiled brightly.

Johnny started and turned to face him, and then a genuine smile spread across his face. “Allen! You’re okay!”

Allen tilted his head, slowing down a little as he neared. “Why wouldn’t I be?” he asked, a little warily – had Link or Kanda mentioned something?

Johnny’s smile faded into a clear worried look. “Kanda said you seemed off, and… he looked pretty unsettled.” Johnny tilted his head, the light glinted off of his glasses, and studied Allen for a moment, brow creasing. “Actually, I think he was right.”

Crown Clown nudged Allen. _Commiseration,_ he suggested quietly. _Wistfulness, hope._

Allen glanced over at him, confused. “What?” he asked after a moment.

Crown Clown smiled slightly and tilted his head toward Johnny. _Worry-compassion._

As soon as Allen understood what Crown Clown was suggesting, his heart skipped a beat, and he subconsciously reached to tug at his sleeve nervously.

“Allen? What did he say?”

He glanced back at Johnny, who was looking expectant and interested, with the lines of worry still lingering around his face.

Three people had followed Allen out of the Order. Kanda, who owed him a debt. Link, who was ordered to. And Johnny, who simply wanted to.

Allen was loathe to drive any of them away, but-

 _Reassurance,_ Crown Clown said firmly.

“Is something wrong?” Johnny asked, becoming noticeably more concerned even than before.

Allen took a deep breath, let it out, and asked, “Johnny? Can I talk to you?” He hesitated. “About… something?”

“Of course!” Johnny said instantly. “Here, let’s…” He grabbed Allen’s hand and tugged him forward, and Allen nearly laughed, following the scientist easily.

They wound up in the room Johnny had been sleeping in, and sat beside each other on the bed, while Crown Clown leaned up against the wall.

Allen’s gaze flicked briefly to Crown Clown, and the Innocence flashed a small smile, but remained silent. Allen returned his attention to Johnny, who looked expectant, and forcibly repressed the urge to fidget.

“I spoke to Neah,” Allen said at last, flashing Johnny a somewhat more confident smile, because out of everything in the last few days, that was the one thing that had gone _right._ “He’s not leaving, but he won’t try to absorb me anymore.”

An honest-to-God beam spread out across Johnny’s face, and he lurched forward to swing his arms around Allen and hug him tight. “That’s great!” he exclaimed, and Allen laughed and returned it. Johnny let go soon enough, though, and asked, the sparkle only just starting to fade, “Then what’s wrong?”

Allen reached up to rub the back of his neck, smile turning uncomfortable again. “It’s complicated,” he admitted, squirming a little.

Johnny’s smile faded. “I’m listening,” he promised.

In careful, halting words, Allen tried to explain – not everything, because he didn’t want to think about a lot of it and wanted to talk about even well – but he tried.

He explained the agreement he and Neah had come to. He explained some of what Neah had told him, about the team that had formed more than thirty-five years ago. He mentioned the old Allen and Cross’ place on that team, but not why Cross had taken him in. He told him about the confusion he had sowed – just by existing, though he didn’t say that.

And because Link knew, and he wanted someone here for _him_ to know, he explained, very briefly, about Mana – not that the man had named him, not how far Allen would have gone for him, but he told Johnny that the man had adopted him, that Allen had owed him a lot (but not that he owed him everything) and-

That Mana was the Earl, and he’d forgotten. Not everything, but forgotten. Allen.

And Johnny listened, all of his attention on Allen, with no anger or repulsion to be seen anywhere.

When Allen was finally done, Johnny leaned forward, and, much more gently, hugged him again. Allen froze, and after a moment, felt Johnny shake slightly, and realized abruptly that Johnny was crying.

“I’m sorry, Allen,” Johnny murmured, voice thick. “It’s always you, isn’t it?”

Allen hesitated, and then hugged Johnny back again, ready tears already rolling down his cheeks again. His throat felt too raw to speak, honesty always harder than anything else for him, but after a moment, Johnny did it for him.

“But it’s going to be okay,” Johnny said firmly, squeezing Allen like he could keep him safe like that. “We’re here for you, Kanda and I. _I’m_ here for you.”

Allen’s breath hitched, and the tears fell faster. “Thank you,” he whispered, voice shaking because that wasn’t enough to explain how inexplicably, desperately grateful he felt. Because not only had Johnny promised to be here, Allen _believed_ him.

_This was a good idea, Crown Clown._

When he glanced up, Crown Clown had left the room.

And even so, for a moment, Allen didn’t feel alone at all.


	49. Chapter 49

When Allen finally poked his head outside to look, Crown Clown was standing beside the door, arms crossed and gazing at an undefined spot on the ground with a thoughtful look.

“Crown Clown!” Allen exclaimed, relieved. “What did you leave for?”

Crown Clown glanced back at him and smiled slightly, and Allen tilted his head curiously. Crown Clown just nodded back into the room, and Allen shrugged, smiled wryly, and withdrew.

Johnny was still inside, looking expectant, and Allen, now that the initial rush had passed, was torn between gratitude and discomfort, neither of which he was willing to express aloud.

What he settled on was, “Crown Clown was outside, that’s all. He’s back now.”

Johnny smiled at him, eyes as red-rimmed as Allen’s own probably were, but otherwise as comfortable with Allen as he had been the day before. “That’s good! Welcome back, Crown Clown!”

Crown Clown smiled faintly at Johnny and then looked back to Allen. _Mugen’s turned back walking down the Ark street, amusement, interest-urgency._

Allen covered his mouth to hide a smile. “Crown Clown says we should be getting back soon,” Allen explained to Johnny, who perked up and nodded quickly, and then, looking back at Crown Clown, Allen asked, “Is it Mugen or Kanda getting impatient?”

Crown Clown’s lips twitched into a smirk. _Amusement!_

Allen let himself smile too. Of course.

Johnny smiled, hopping up with enthusiasm that nearly made him stumble. “Let’s go, then!” he said brightly, and then paused to consider. “Are they all with us?”

“Just Crown Clown and Angel Sword,” Allen answered with a small smile.

“Oh!” Johnny nodded. “Hello, Angel Sword!”

 _Dislike!_ Angel Sword snapped, and Allen winced and patted his pocket.

“She’s still working through things, I think,” he offered. He gave no further explanation, but Johnny nodded anyway, smile fading a little as they started to walk.

“Oh, that’s fine,” Johnny assured him. “Say, when are we going to leave?”

Allen considered that for a moment. “We should get going soon,” he said at last, reluctantly. “The longer we stay here, the bigger the chance that the Order will think to look, and-” He glanced around and half-smiled. “Well, even with the size of the place, they’d find us eventually.”

It would be good to see Lenalee or Lavi or any of the Innocences again, but it wasn’t worth it. Allen would see them again eventually.

Johnny’s expression fell into something a little more serious, and he nodded. “I suppose we should leave soon then.”

Allen smiled sadly and nodded. “I’d prefer to leave today, but we should probably ask Kanda…” He hesitated. “And Link too, maybe.”

“Where are we going to go?” Johnny asked, and then nearly stumbled over a rock in the path. Allen caught him with a laugh, his smile turning a little more genuine again.

 “We could go anywhere, really.” He thought for a moment, and then added reluctantly, “We should probably try to track the Heart, though.”

Johnny’s eyes sparkled with curiosity, but he left it alone. “We can probably talk about that all together, then.”

Allen nodded.

Crown Clown nudged Allen. _!_

_Happiness-approval!_

Allen perked up and smiled at Mugen, who had apparently decided to meet them partway. Mugen gave him a brief smile and a nod.

_Worry. ?_

“I’m fine,” Allen assured him. “And Angel Sword’s fine, too. Don’t worry.”

Mugen shrugged and cast a glance at Johnny, who was gazing with interest at Mugen’s approximate location. _Curiosity._

Allen laughed and waved his hands. “Johnny and I were just talking,” he told Mugen, with warmth that probably belied the simplicity of his words. Sure enough, Mugen raised an eyebrow at him skeptically.

_?_

Allen’s smile softened. “Really.”

 _Agreement-warmth,_ Crown Clown affirmed, giving Johnny a fond look. Allen had to admit, he was pleased that Crown Clown was so attached to Johnny, if a little surprised.

Mugen gave them an assessing look, and then nodded firmly and turned on his heel, heading off to where Kanda probably was. It was about then that Allen realized he had been walking without thinking, following a path he hadn’t realized he’d known.

_Worry?_

Allen glanced at Crown Clown and forced a smile, shaking his head. “Nothing,” he said, and then amended, “Nothing I won’t have to get used to.”

Crown Clown’s expression turned solemn, but he nodded. _Assurance._

“Someday,” Johnny told Allen earnestly, “I really have to sit down and have a conversation with you _and_ your Innocence. I have so many questions!”

Allen gave him a bright smile. “Of course! As soon as we have time.”

 _Amusement,_ Crown Clown commented, and Allen gave him a bashful smile. Crown Clown shook his head. _Affirmation, amusement._

“Walker!”

Link appeared out of one of the side streets, and Allen turned toward him, smile fading rapidly even as he gave Link an inquisitive look.

“I was looking for you,” Link explained, gaze on Allen even as he shifted as if expecting to be attacked. “It is only a matter of time before-”

“Before the Order finds us,” Allen agreed with a nod. “I was just looking for Kanda, actually – we should talk about where to go next. We need to look for the Heart.”

Link’s brow furrowed. “Why…?” he started, and then cut himself off uncertainly, eyes on Johnny now. Allen glanced at Johnny briefly, and found him giving Link an uncertain look that might’ve mirrored Allen’s own.

Link looked away, back to Allen, and Allen hesitated.

“Neah and I came to an agreement,” he said at last, deliberately turning his gaze away to move forward. Another moment of silence while Link processed that, and then Allen smiled. “So, no harm done.”

Link didn’t answer. Allen wasn’t surprised.


	50. Ninth Interlude: The Gentle Guardian

_An idyllic garden in the middle of nowhere._  
An apple tree with perfect fruit, tended by a lone man.  
A clear sky and a safe place, an island in the midst of ruin, guarded by a single sturdy wall.

Above victory, above conquest, Maker of Eden valued the protection of the innocent.

He understood that this wasn’t a common position among Innocences. Most were actually quite the opposite – their self-worth, their sense of purpose, depended on victory, on the distant goal of ‘saving the world’ and ending everything. Crown Clown, who valued all life equally, came closest, Maker of Eden thought, but even he forged ever onward.

Maker of Eden, though, not a few hundred years after his creation, had met an accommodator, who at first seemed little different from any other. Strong in spirit, determined to protect his loved ones, and, like many of Maker of Eden’s chosen accommodators, kind and watchful as well. In the middle of an akuma attack on his tribe, he left no man, no child behind.

Maker of Eden formed Amulet of the Earth and reached out to the man, and without hesitation, the man had taken him and driven away the akuma.

He thought, at first, that he’d made a mistake. Though he had the strength of body and mind to do so, Kamau never left his people. He never sought out the akuma to destroy them, to make sure they could never hurt anyone else.

No, instead, he stayed and protected his friends, his family, alone.

Kamau’s spirit never wavered; he was no coward. This was why Maker of Eden stayed with him; his heart was still true.

But he stayed.

Twenty years passed, and he finally gave up his mantle, old and tired. As a part of that, he took his eldest son aside, and bestowed the Amulet of the Earth upon him, and all the responsibility he told his son it represented.

Of course, Kamau still had no idea what he held. He had no way of knowing how an Innocence worked, no way of knowing how accommodators were chosen.

But… As a test, Maker of Eden reached out to the son- And, with little surprise at all, found him to be as strong as his father. More resentful, perhaps, but more determined, too. And Maker of Eden had known him for years; he knew the sort of person he was.

So, in a decision that would hold for the next several hundred years, he snapped the connection to Kamau, and accepted Muchoki as his next accommodator.

As it happened, this continued for generations, generations that Maker of Eden watched and guided and mourned as they lived and died and passed him on. He kept his form for their sake, kept his power, kept them safe. He protected them.

Finally, when the last member of the family died without a child, he was buried in a gesture of mourning, and the tribe he’d watched over moved on.

It had been more than two thousand years by now, but he still remembered that family, and it had taught him to value the people he protected above all else. No matter how many enemies the fighters destroyed, all seemed lost anyway if the people left behind died.

Maker of Eden hadn’t settled on a favored type of form before his time as the Amulet of the Earth, but afterward, he started to tend towards shields, magic, long-distance weapons. At the same time, his accommodators lingered behind, keeping people safe from those who broke through enemy lines.

A few times, an accommodator of his had lost everything and everyone despite all their efforts. These people, in turn, would march forward, and then- then, sometimes, they became vengeful. Sometimes, though, they found something new and protected them, instead, and Maker of Eden knew which one made him more proud.

Because of these quieter, more isolationist tendencies, Maker of Eden had never been to the Black Order before he accepted Tiedoll. His accommodators hadn’t leant themselves to being displaced.

Tiedoll, with a family of six to protect and all of the will to do so, had been just the same. He’d taken his family and anyone else who would come, picked up a walking stick, and stood against the akuma, and Maker of Eden had formed himself and activated in his hands. Tiedoll had barely missed a beat.

Within hours, the Order had arrived to take him away – away from his family and his reason for fighting, and Maker of Eden, at first, worried.

And he was right to. It took Tiedoll a long time to adjust, and for over a year, he prayed for his family every night, before he went to bed. He forged on, he grew stronger- but his sense of purpose wavered. He fought because he refused to be idle.

He knew it, too – he was the most self-aware accommodator Maker of Eden had ever had. Without a reason to fight, his resolve was weaker, and he was lost. So he drew and he searched and he stayed up late at night, thinking quietly as he watched the moon, with Maker of Eden sitting close to him, unseen and silent.

Tiedoll found his purpose, finally, when his master took on another apprentice, and Tiedoll himself helped to teach them, to guide them- and to protect them as they learned.

And Maker of Eden smiled.

After that, their synchronization started to rise. Tiedoll, Maker of Eden knew, was willing it so, keeping careful note of what helped and what did not. He wanted to become a general.

He wanted to mentor the new exorcists himself. He didn’t want to win the Holy War, didn’t want to seek out and destroy their enemies – but he would stand up and protect these victims of it the best he could.

He was a wonderful mentor, of course – patient and kind, firm when he needed to be, but not harsh, never harsh, not here and not now. He shielded them when they could not fight, and aided them when they could.

Maker of Eden watched his apprentices perhaps even more closely than Tiedoll himself did, watched them learn and grow into their own Innocences, their own strengths, and then move on to fight on their own.

In some ways, this might have been more rewarding, at least for him, than almost any endeavor so far.

And now, with the Order in chaos and the air rife with uncertainty and despair, Maker of Eden was glad that Tiedoll was currently planted as firmly as he could be, here at Headquarters.

They needed a safe place sometimes, and Tiedoll, he knew, would provide that any way he could, whether by battle or guidance or a word of comfort.

And Maker of Eden would help him, as he always did.


	51. Chapter 51

Outside of the Ark, Allen found that he felt a little better, a little more himself. People passed by in ones and twos and threes, not giving any of them more than a second odd glance, and – grown, clean, and well-dressed – Allen wasn’t bothered by the crowded street.

Kanda was; his fist clenched as if around Mugen’s hilt, and though his eyes didn’t scan his surroundings the way Lenalee’s or Lavi’s did, his head was tilted slightly, eyes narrowed to listen.

Johnny wasn’t like Kanda, with his wariness, or Allen, with his cursed eye; he had hardly spent any time outside the Order since he’d first learned about akuma, and the suspicion had never had a chance to develop. No, his attention was on Allen, who was keeping up a quiet conversation.

“I haven’t been here in about two years,” Allen told Johnny, smiling a little with one hand in his pocket. “It hasn’t changed a bit, really, but it’s busier than I remember.”

“The season, maybe?” Johnny suggested. “Or were you in a different part of town?”

Allen almost laughed and nodded. “That might be it. Master favored the emptier areas.”

Johnny took that with a grin, and Allen rolled his eyes just thinking about it, and tried not to miss him – or Tim.

Link was a few steps behind; he’d been reluctant to speak to Allen since the deal had been struck, and Allen thought, guiltily, that he was a little grateful for it. (He wasn’t sure what to say either.) Crown Clown and Mugen were on either side of him, behind their respective accommodators, but they weren’t watching him, now – they were watching the passersby, less wary than simply attentive.

“What was your deal with the Fourteenth?” Kanda asked abruptly, redirecting his gaze to Allen, eyes sharp.

Allen’s smile fell, and he hesitated, considering- a moment, two, three, and then he frowned at himself and answered, “He just wants to end the war, really – so if I find the Heart and… kill the Earl, all he needs to do is invoke the Heart, and he’ll… leave.” He shrugged a little. “He’ll be supervising, he said, to make sure everything is done right.”

“Invoke the Heart?” Kanda frowned. “And how the hell is he planning to ‘supervise’?”

Allen shrugged again and shook his head; really, he had no idea. “Invoking the Heart should destroy the other Noah, or at least render them powerless.”

Kanda nodded his acknowledgement, though he was still frowning, and Johnny hopped in,

“We should probably focus on finding the Heart, right?

Allen paused, and then said, grudgingly, “Neah suggested that Apocryphos could provide a clue, and… I think Master might, too.” At Johnny’s fretful look, he added, “He’s not dead. Judgement would know.” He wrinkled his nose. “But we probably have an about equal chance of finding him and interrogating Apocryphos.”

Johnny’s expression turned thoughtful, and he offered an absent nod of agreement.

“But we’ve been trying to find the Heart for years,” he mused. “We have no idea how to even begin, but lately-” He turned an inquisitive look on Allen. “Crown Clown doesn’t know, does he?”

Allen didn’t even have to check with him. He shook his head. “He has no idea. Apocryphos is the only certain clue we have.”

“We can figure him out later,” Kanda cut off, and he was frowning a little; if Allen hadn’t known him so well, he might’ve missed the flash of disconcertion in his eyes, and he wondered a little. “Sprout, do you know a place to stay tonight?”

“Don’t be such an impatient ass,” Allen complained, but he nodded.

“We shouldn’t stay for more than a night or two at a time,” Link said suddenly, and Allen looked over his shoulder, startled. Link wasn’t meeting his eyes, but his voice was steady, almost aloof. “It’s too dangerous to linger when there’s pursuit.”

After a moment, Allen nodded his agreement. “We can hop around,” he conceded. “We don’t even have to use the Ark all that often, really.”

Kanda made an irate sound, but didn’t disagree, and Johnny offered a rueful smile. Allen assumed that neither of them liked the idea, and nearly winced himself, considered apologizing, and dismissed the idea. They wouldn’t accept it.

A more honest smile tugged at his mouth, just for a moment.

He glanced over his shoulder, briefly. Crown Clown met his eyes immediately and offered a small smile of his own, and then a nod.

 _Reassurance,_ Crown Clown murmured absently. _Concern, uncertainty?_

Allen gave a subtle nod in return, almost thoughtful, and Crown Clown’s smile steadied a little.

 _Bright core of the Innocence,_ Crown Clown offered, thoughtful and slower, _…Concern, ferventness… Secrecy?_

Allen’s mouth fell open into a soft ‘oh’, and he nodded again.

“Crown Clown doesn’t think the Heart is in circulation at all,” he told Johnny, knowing that out of all of them, he was the most intelligent, the most likely to make something of it. Johnny perked up visibly, visibly thinking about that, and then-

 _Innocences flowing into the ocean,_ Crown Clown added. _Connected to a single bright core._

“And that it might not need to be,” Allen tacked on, a little more thoughtful, “because it might get its information from all the others.”

Johnny’s smile stretched across his face, and he looked downright excited.

“We keep assuming it’s one of the Innocences in use,” he murmured excitedly, “because it’s the most powerful- but of course, I mean, since it’s sentient- of _course_ it would be aware of its own importance-”

Allen nodded along, and Kanda had turned his eyes on Johnny, a furrow in his brow but not a word of disagreement on his lips.

 _A crowd of akuma,_ Mugen put in, glancing over at them. _The Clan of Noah. Grimness, assertion, resentment and frustration._

“You’re right,” Allen said aloud, letting his expression fade to match Mugen’s. “This war’s gone on for long enough. And if a risk is what it takes to end it-” Allen let the sentence trail off, and Mugen nodded once, sharply.

Kanda ‘che’d, and then said, “Beansprout. An inn.”

Allen rolled his eyes. “Patience, stupid Kanda.”

“Che.”

* * *

There weren’t any rooms for four, really, so they split up; Link and Allen would be in one room, and Kanda and Johnny in the other. Allen was neither comfortable nor uncomfortable with this – really, he was more preoccupied wondering what he would dream of – if Neah’s memories would continue to haunt him.

Link went to check out their room, but Allen thought it was just an excuse to slip away for a moment, so he stayed with Kanda and Johnny, for the moment. Crown Clown gave Allen a nod and slipped out after him, and Allen resolved to ask him about it later, with a slightly wry quirk of his lips.

Though he had his suspicions.

“Do you think I’m being too wary?” Allen asked Mugen, keeping his voice low while Kanda and Johnny debated about money.

Mugen studied him for a moment, frowning, and then sighed and shrugged. _Betrayal, anger, hurt, guilt. Resignation-frustration. Distress? Anger._

Allen took a moment to pick through that, biting his cheek. In the end, he took one sentence from it.

_It still hurt, didn’t it?_

“I suppose,” Allen agreed, with a hint of lingering uncertainty, and Mugen snorted at him, and went to return to Kanda’s side, listening to him and Johnny talk.

Crown Clown returned just as Allen was about to join them, and Allen looked over at him quizzically. Crown Clown shook his head slightly, and then gestured down to Allen’s pocket.

 _Angel Sword?_ When Allen started to open his mouth, Crown Clown shook his head. _Curiosity-inquisitiveness. Angel Sword._

A beckoning gesture, this time, and Allen let out an ‘oh’ and gave Crown Clown an apologetic smile. A small, amused one curled Crown Clown’s mouth in return, and Allen reached into his pocket and gave Angel Sword to Crown Clown.

He didn’t join Kanda and Johnny just yet; he leaned back against the chair, half an eye on the conversation, and listened to the two Innocences.

 _Angel Sword._ Crown Clown always sounded authoritative when he called, and very few ever failed to respond. Allen half-smiled.

 _?_ Angel Sword asked, weary.

 _?_ Crown Clown, serious.

A moment of hesitation, consideration, and then, _Silver eyes?_

Crown Clown smiled, small and slight. _?_

_Curiosity._

_A small child, a bright-eyed boy, a teen standing against a Noah. Loyalty._

_..._ Angel Sword paused for another moment, and then, _Blue eyes, a scowl, Mugen’s weapon form._

Crown Clown considered this one, for a moment, and his answer came slower. _Confidence. Weariness, wariness, frustration – confidence and trust. Faith._ A half-smile. _Gratitude-acceptance-trust._

_Betrayal-anger-defensiveness?_

_Acceptance-trust._

Angel Sword seemed to think about that, and Allen took the moment to be glad – glad that Crown Clown had accepted Kanda’s return as as much of an apology, as much of an expression of gratitude as Allen could possibly ask for.

In the end, despite everything, Allen still trusted Kanda, and he was glad that Crown Clown did too.

Another moment, longer, and Allen’s smile had time to fade.

_Alma in his akuma form, his tail waving, rage in his eyes. ??? Concern-worry-anxiety!_

Crown Clown sighed. _Acceptance-resignation. Weariness, sadness- regret._

_Grief._

_Grief._

Allen looked away, considered joining in on Kanda and Johnny’s continued conversation – ideas had been thrown back and forth for some time now, limited by time and space and resources – but then Crown Clown spoke again.

_A sword, a shield, a wanderer and a healer and a fighter. Hevlaska. ?_

_?_ Angel Sword hesitated. _…??_

Crown Clown sighed and, after a moment, nodded.

 _Uncertainty,_ Angel Sword elaborated. _Sadness-anger-uncertainty._

 _Agreement,_ Crown Clown conceded. _Melancholy-agreement._

_…_

Crown Clown glanced up to meet Allen’s eyes and gave him a dry smirk, and Allen gave him a wry smile in return, and then got up, crossed the room, and stepped into the conversation.

He’d been getting around with just him and Crown Clown for months. He had his own ideas of how to get money; he just had to see which ones Kanda and Johnny would agree to.

After a few minutes, Link slipped in, hesitated at the door for a moment, and then joined, and an hour or so later, just before they went to get dinner, Crown Clown gave Angel Sword back to Allen, and she felt- calmer.

* * *

The next morning, in the early hours, Allen faltered as Angel Sword let out a short, sharp cry.

A heartbeat later, both Crown Clown and Mugen collapsed.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [To Live In The Truth](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12697641) by [Go0se](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Go0se/pseuds/Go0se)




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